Singer, songwriter Paul Anka wrote the song “MY WAY” for Frank Sinatra. The Beatles had a song called “WE CAN WORK IT OUT” which starts with the lyrics, “Try and see it my way.” And, of course, there’s the famous expression “My way or the highway.” The Grasshopper weighed in on the topic and said, “Seeing it your way is impossible because they viewed it from a different angle.”

Even if we experienced the same event, my memories of it are not yours. Me wanting you to have my memories and/or my point of view is hubris of the highest level and ignores the scientific aspect of angles and the absolute reality that people see things differently.

“My Way” is a demand, not a garden variety request. A demand always has some sort of threat implied – real or veiled. “My Way” is an attempt to control, not persuade.

We will argue more forcefully for something when the word “My” is attached.

I guess that’s why one of Burger King’s advertising campaigns was so successful – “Have it your way.”

Famed business consultant, Fernando Flores says there are only four things you can do with language:

1. Make an assertion
2. Make a declaration
3. Make a request
4. Make a promise.

Jerry Stocking goes on to explain that an assertion is your relationship to things, a declaration is your relationship with yourself, and requests and promises reveal your relationship with others.

To instantly find out what your relationship is with another on a specific topic, make a request of them. Their response, which is their promise to comply or not, will disclose your relationship on that topic. If you then go into “My Way” mode, you have gone to the dark side of request – which is a demand.

Demands, almost always, shut the door to communication and compromise.

“My Way” has a poor percentage of getting you what you want.

The highway is filled with people driving away from people who employ this strategy, leaving the “My Wayers” in the wake of exhausted fumes.

There is a direct correlation between “My Way” and the time you spend in isolation. You can continue ruling the kingdom of one, or you can get curious how compromise and cooperation have people beat a path to your door.

All the best,

John

P.S. I remind you again about the opportunity to join us tomorrow on the “Inevitable Success” Internet radio show.

How does your Self Image contribute to your success or lack of it? Find out this Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 3PM Eastern Time as I appear as a guest on Jonathan Manske‘s “Inevitable Success” Internet Radio Show. The topic will be how your Self Image contributes to your success, and we will offer specific strategies to improve and update your Self Image.

All you have to do to participate is go to the website, www.realcoachingradio.com, and you will be able to see, hear and participate in the discussion either by calling in or text chatting with us.  I know you will find this discussion inspiring as we share the secret to success – SELF IMAGE.

Again, the show is this Thursday, October 2^nd at 3 PM Eastern Time. Logon to www.realcoachingradio.com and join us for this stirring experience.

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com/blog

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

All the best,

John