It seems so “obvie” to say you have to release your grip in order to let something go.

Our grip is often so unconscious that we don’t realize that an invisible force is actually gripping us.

Something has a hold on us that keeps us holding on.

The release begins with a request. It’s sort of like a parole hearing. You have to ask the parole board to let you go.

You don’t have to know what’s gripping you. There is a part of you that knows. You just have to ask.

I learned that a well-formed request takes this form:

“I request that you do X by time Y.” For example: “I request that you release your grip on me right now.”

You may have to make the request multiple times over multiple days. And just like with repeated exercise, you will feel a difference. The grip will lessen with each request and the walls that seemed ever present in the past won’t confine you.

You are making the request to the part of you that has you in its grasp. It’s an unconscious pattern of behavior. What you may not realize is that patterns are purposeful. They served a purpose when they were formed. You may have consciously outgrown the need for that pattern of behavior, but the subconscious pattern will run forever unless you request a release.

Consider this scenario. A spouse dies in the prime of their life. Their surviving mate is left to move on without them. After a time, they meet someone new and start dating and begin a relationship. Something holds them back from committing to this new partnership. What is the pattern that prevents this twosome from moving forward? It may be that the surviving spouse may have never released their grip on his or her deceased partner and that pattern has a death grip on them.

“The Release” is yours for the asking. The key is to request and request often.

All the best,

John