I’ve come to the opinion that “Seize The Day” is so “yesterday.”

The concept has always been wrapped in the cloak of control and anyone who is paying attention knows that control is an illusion.

I’m a list maker. Listing, for me, makes goals that are on my mind both visible and actionable. That means I can see what I want and plan a course of action.

Need I remind you of the quote from poet Robert Burns, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”

Once you’ve made your plan of action, it’s wise to adhere to the sports axiom: Let the game come to you. Instead, we often charge ahead and bulldoze whatever is in our way and call it “Seizing the day.”

Little do we realize that by using that manufactured energy we also destroy the building blocks we need to make our plan a reality.

Seizing the day will lead to a seizure. It’s a directive without a direction – A bumper sticker that doesn’t stick.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Many moons ago, I worked with this bartender in a disco. He danced behind the bar to the beat of the music and had a flamboyant style of mixing and serving drinks. There was a lot of show and a lot of visible action but people were delayed in getting their beverages. This backlog caused him to be fired because the plan was to serve all the patrons on time. Instead he seized on the opportunity to show his stuff.

Seizing the day has so much yang energy attached to it. It has the delivery rate of a runaway beer truck.

Certainly have a plan for your day but attempting to grab it by the horns means you’re likely to wind up covered with a lot of bullshit.

Perhaps you’ll get curious about exchanging the ancient Latin phrase “Carpe diem” for a mantra that successful sports teams use: Have a flexible game plan!

All the best,

John

Seems no matter how “good” you are, there is going to be an opposing viewpoint.

My sense is that Mother Teresa had her detractors, also Mr. Rogers.

What propels this animus? I don’t know for sure but I have a guess.

I don’t think it has anything to do with the accused; It’s more about the accuser.

The words “lazy” and “uninformed” pop up for me.

Just look at some of the things your Facebook friends and family members repost. Did they ever take a moment to check the accuracy of their reiteration? It’s not that hard.

Here are two examples from both sides of the political aisle:

Sarah Palin claimed in an interview that Jesus Christ celebrated Easter during his time on Earth.

All the Congressional Democrats voted against a 2.8 percent Social Security cost of living allowance.

It’s easy for me to appreciate that some people don’t like other people, but to pass on egregious, defamatory claims about them without checking not only shows your bias; it shows how easily you are led.

Before you click the “Send” button, make sure what you are saying is buttoned up, otherwise you appear as a butthead.

Allow me to end this observation with the following quote from Socrates: “Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”

All the best,

John

What person or situation shows up in your dreams more often than any other?

I’m not only referring to a recurring dream, but also a dream that contains that person or situation in a variety of settings.

There are people in this world who are much better dream interpreters than me. But, by and large, we are all guessing about what the specific content of any one dream means.

What is not a guess is what’s going on behind the scenes.

This person or situation that keeps showing up is something that has not been resolved by you. You may have consciously blotted it out, but unconsciously it is indelible until it’s, as the British say, “all sorted.”

It doesn’t matter if the person is dead or alive or the situation is long gone. If they or it keep appearing, it’s time to do a mental clearing.

There is a song by The Beatles called “A Day In The Life.” There is a long instrumental portion at the end of the song that is musically begging for a resolution. It’s sensed by all who listen to it whether they have a tin ear or not. After this long period of musical tension, there is one resounding chord at the end that lasts 24 seconds. It’s sort of like a deep breath that has been exhaled.

That’s what we need to do with the person or thing in our recurring dreams – Resolve.

I don’t have a one-size-fits-all answer but I do have a question that’s highly likely to spark a resolution. That question is: “I wonder what I could do or say now that will resolve what happened back then?” Then just go about your day and give the part of you that knows the answer some space to work on a solution.

You may have to ask this question multiple times over multiple days to start getting results, but the procedure is always the same: Do your asking and then turn the question over to a part of you that knows the answer. You don’t have to continually think about what the answer is. Just ask the question and then go about your business.

Here’s the most interesting part of this procedure: The answer may come to you in a dream.

You can continue to push your situation away, but that will only have it come back another day. If you want it to resolve, ask your question and witness your situation evolve.

All the best,

John

Fear, when you break it down to its basics, is a feeling. Nothing more.

It’s not a great feeling, but just a feeling nevertheless.

Fear is a warning sign that something is threatening you or troubling you. If it’s a threat, do everything you can to get out of harm’s way. If it’s troubling you, it is in your best interest to acknowledge and address the underlying cause.

But the biggest antidote to fear is to actually feel it, not fear it.

How many of us invite that feeling in for tea? It’s a way to get the tempest out of the teapot.

Sitting with the sensation we label as fear and actually feeling it in our body, rather than combating it in our mind, is the way through fear. You can spend a lifetime attempting to go around fear but you can go through it much quicker.

Feeling the sensation fully without mental commentary is how we transmute fear and find out what’s on the other side.

It seems like a conundrum but what we really fear is the feeling itself. So the most direct route to “unfeeling” fear is to metabolize it, by feeling it.

I’m not suggesting you make fear your friend, just an acquaintance – one you can break bread with once in a while so you can break its hold on you.

All the best,

John

Did you ever notice the high rate of suicide by long-term drug and alcohol abusers?

According to Psychology Today, “Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. Depression and other mood disorders are the number-one risk factor for suicide, but alcohol and drug abuse – even without depression – are a close second. In fact, research has shown that the strongest predictor of suicide is alcoholism, not a psychiatric diagnosis. People with substance use disorders are about six times more likely to commit suicide than the general population.”

Going beyond the statistics and zeroing in on the causative factors of abuse, I find the following dynamic at work: Alcohol and drug abusers would rather not be “here” (present to their current reality). Their substances take them “there” (away from here).

“There” can change locations after long bouts of abuse. That new location is too often death by their own hand.

Abstinence is certainly a solution but it may not change not wanting to be here. “Here” is the only place you can actually be. “There” is a fictitious place like “Wonderland” was for Alice.

We all, to some degree, have been conditioned to escape “here.” Just about any ad that targets your dissatisfaction is offering “there” as a solution. They just reinforce our conditioning.

One solution is to notice your reaction to “here” and interrupt it by choosing a different response. This is not a one-time fix. It takes consistent application of noticing and interrupting and choosing a new response to our old habit of seeking escape.

You will never escape your thoughts, but you can respond to them differently. It takes some “real time” noticing, interrupting and choosing. With practice, noticing your state of mind will deliver some space between your thoughts. That space is where a new, productive response can take hold and grow into a new mindset – one that makes “here” a much more livable place.

I’m putting the finishing touches on a book I’ve written about this change process. it’s called: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change.

My best guess is a November release date. As we used to say in radio, “Stay Tuned.”

All the best,

John