Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 9-28-20.

Read the written version here.

The Grasshopper had this to say over the weekend: “I can offer a reason for it, but not an excuse.”

Let’s face it, we are, by conditioning, “excuse machines.”

We learned at the knee of other excusers that if we find a good enough reason, we are not responsible for our behavior.

I think of the lyrics from an old Doobie Brothers song: WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES: “No wise man has the power to reason away what seems to be.”

I also think of the Werner Erhard EST exercise he used to demonstrate how we generate an inexhaustible amount of reasons. He would simply ask someone at his seminars to pick between two flavors of ice cream – chocolate and vanilla. When they picked, he asked them why they picked that flavor. When they answered, he would say that’s the wrong answer and again asked them, “Why?” They came up with another reason and he would again say it was the wrong answer and had them come up with yet another. This went on ad nauseam until he asked them if they would like to know the real answer. The group responded with a resounding “YES!”

Let’s say the person picked vanilla. He would tell them the correct answer was, “You picked vanilla because you picked vanilla.”

The purpose of the exercise was twofold to my eyes. 1. It was a lesson in reality by owning up to the fact that you made a choice. 2. That you could come up with countless reasons for the choice that you made.

We have learned that reasons excuse us from the consequences of our actions. Although that strategy doesn’t work, it doesn’t keep us from continually trying to excuse our behavior.

Earlier this year I wrote a blog post called “The Biggest Mistake.” The germane quote from that post that fits here is, “The biggest mistake is not learning from a mistake.”

That post ended with this line: “‘My Bad’ needs to be taken off life support and put back into our vocabulary. Once we utter those words, we’re more likely to learn our lesson.”

And here’s the last line of this post: Acknowledging our actions is the only excuse that works.

All the best,

John

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Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 9-21-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to notice this but on Facebook more women than men use the love ❤️ response.

Is it manly not to love something?

There’s something in our culture that prevents a man from expressing his genuine feelings. That’s sad.

I’ll spare you the “Venus/Mars” analogy because you’ve heard it too many times. What you may not have heard or considered as often is how powerful conditioning is.

Your intellect may now buy into something you’ve opposed in the past but your conditioning keeps your emotional responses (sensations) in place.

You may lobby for something you lobbied against 10 years ago but notice if your sensations have caught up with your intellectual enlightenment or not. If you’re anything like me, they probably haven’t yet.

What to do? The best answer I have is “Sit with the sensation.”

We tend to try and chase away a feeling when it opposes our intellectual stance. We generate negative conversations about how awful we are for having such a feeling and tell it to go away. That never works!

Feelings needn’t be judged; they need to be noticed. Notice where they show up in your body. Once you notice the location of the feeling, put all your attention on that area of your body. That’s what I’m calling “sitting with the sensation.” You’ll have to do this a lot more more than once to update your feelings, but the practice has lasting results.

Your whole metamorphosis (body and mind) to your new way of thinking will come about when you discover that transformation happens from the inside out.

Pay attention to what’s going on inside your body and give it some attention and you’ll rid yourself of conditioned, emotional retention.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

You must live in a cave if you haven’t seen or heard lots of people complaining about being bored during the pandemic.

Years ago, I discovered what boredom was for me, and highly suspect it’s the same for everyone else.

Pure and simple, bored is being bored by your own thoughts.

It’s our thinking that engenders boredom and keeps it alive. I’m more than certain that we’re not going to stop thinking anytime soon, so what’s the solution to boredom? The same remedy that’s effective for any thought based malady: Noticing!

Notice that you’re having thoughts about being bored. Just the simple act of noticing your mind at work causes a pause in your thinking. In that pause is room for a new idea to arise – one that may lead to boredom’s demise.

Noticing puts your thinking on pause and the more noticing you do, the less you’ll be at the mercy of your thinking. It’s in that pause that we make room for something novel and new to come through.

Make it a practice to start noticing your thinking. Notice as an unemotional bystander and you’ll witness your mind at work. What you’ll notice by noticing is that your mind has a mind of it’s own, separate and apart from you.

If you start noticing yourself as the viewer or witness of your thoughts, rather than being associated with them, you can stop being what your thoughts tell you you are.

You are not bored. Your mind is bored with the same thoughts. Interrupt them by noticing, and witness boredom melt and fade away as you cause new thoughts to come your way.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 9-14-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

The Grasshopper has been quite active recently delivering little nips of nectar. This one came out on yesterday’s walk: “The whole truth has no parts.”

I take that to mean that it’s self-contained, meaning there are not different versions of a truth. Different versions are just opinions.

I’m reminded of a blog post I wrote 5 years ago that contained the following quote: “Liars and angels both tell the truth.”

That post highlighted the absurdity of the phrase “My truth.” Again, there are not versions of the truth, only different opinions.

Truth is like reality; it has no opposite. There is no debate about the reality (the truth) when a light is turned on. Yet, some will argue that the light is off and call it “My truth.”

People, in defense of “their truth,” often refer to an anecdotal example that pales in comparison to an avalanche of facts and doesn’t, in fact, counter the facts. The example I gave in my book was about one person stating a statistical fact that his favorite sports team had the oldest starting lineup in the league. Then someone said to him, “Yea, but we signed the youngest running back in the league.” That argument wasn’t part of the truth; it was in total opposition to it.

The whole is the sum of its parts except when it comes to the whole truth; it’s indivisible.

There is a practical result for dropping the words “My truth” from any discussion you have. You’ll engage in less arguments and have more opportunities to exchange opinions. That last statement may not be the whole truth, but, from my experience, it’s damn close.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

“No sense predicting the future; the future predicts us.” So said The Grasshopper this morning.

We live a self-fulfilling prophesy every day when our patterns keep us steeped in our ways.

Here’s what we rarely do: examine our patterned way of thinking and behaving. We just put it out there on display and not recognize how it gets in our way.

The biggest addiction I’ve witnessed in my lifetime is denial. We deny that our patterned behavior is the cause of us remaining stuck. We constantly look outside of us for a demon as the reason. It’s the “Devil made me do it” defense – one that, under inspection, – makes no sense.

Our future looks back on us and sees us in cement. That will be the case as long as we deny responsibility for our present circumstances.

Our patterns of thinking and behaving need periodic review. Doing so, gives us opportunities to make adjustments so we can build a future that’s not the “same old” but new.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Victimhood is a self-fulfilling prophesy measurable by the amount of time we spend thinking about and talking about being a victim.

The Grasshopper started this line of reflection when he said, “The way to stop being a victim is to stop thinking you’re a victim.”

Victimhood is not in your DNA; it’s conditioned by what you think about day-to-day.

Who hasn’t heard someone say this: “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all”? Perhaps, that’s something you say. Let me quote photography guru Peter Hurley when he hears photography students telling their clients to smile: “STOP IT PEOPLE! STOP IT NOW!”

“I always attract the same kind of people in my life” is a revealing statement. It reflects a belief you hold. That begs the question, “What is a belief?” It’s something you’ve thought about over and over until it became second nature.

Yes, people have been victimized and that is a real thing, one that needs to be acknowledged and addressed. But it’s something that turns into drama when you tell your story of being a victim over and over again. That practice gets us to believe we are a victim.

Victimhood is a belief – one that isn’t serving you well. Continually citing the times you’ve been a victim is a history lesson, not indicative of your future fate. But history will repeat itself if you continue to tell the stories.

Giving up the belief that you are a victim begins when you recognize and interrupt your thoughts of being a victim. This practice involves getting a wedge between stimulus and a conditioned reaction. That wedge is recognition. Recognize that you’re thinking that you’re a victim. Interrupt that thinking just by noticing that you’re having the thought. In that moment of recognition, you create a space in your thinking – a space for something new to come through.

Just like Peter Hurley’s directive to STOP IT NOW!, direct your thinking by recognizing and interrupting it. It’s the way to stop being a victim of your thinking.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 9-7-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.