Victimhood is a self-fulfilling prophesy measurable by the amount of time we spend thinking about and talking about being a victim.

The Grasshopper started this line of reflection when he said, “The way to stop being a victim is to stop thinking you’re a victim.”

Victimhood is not in your DNA; it’s conditioned by what you think about day-to-day.

Who hasn’t heard someone say this: “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all”? Perhaps, that’s something you say. Let me quote photography guru Peter Hurley when he hears photography students telling their clients to smile: “STOP IT PEOPLE! STOP IT NOW!”

“I always attract the same kind of people in my life” is a revealing statement. It reflects a belief you hold. That begs the question, “What is a belief?” It’s something you’ve thought about over and over until it became second nature.

Yes, people have been victimized and that is a real thing, one that needs to be acknowledged and addressed. But it’s something that turns into drama when you tell your story of being a victim over and over again. That practice gets us to believe we are a victim.

Victimhood is a belief – one that isn’t serving you well. Continually citing the times you’ve been a victim is a history lesson, not indicative of your future fate. But history will repeat itself if you continue to tell the stories.

Giving up the belief that you are a victim begins when you recognize and interrupt your thoughts of being a victim. This practice involves getting a wedge between stimulus and a conditioned reaction. That wedge is recognition. Recognize that you’re thinking that you’re a victim. Interrupt that thinking just by noticing that you’re having the thought. In that moment of recognition, you create a space in your thinking – a space for something new to come through.

Just like Peter Hurley’s directive to STOP IT NOW!, direct your thinking by recognizing and interrupting it. It’s the way to stop being a victim of your thinking.

All the best,

John

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