I had an interesting thought pop in the other day: “I was stupid until I wasn’t.”

To me that meant I was locked in to stupid before I wasn’t. There was a learning experience waiting on the other side of stupid, I just didn’t notice it, until I did.

That prompted this fill-in-the-blank: I was ________ until I wasn’t.

What are you locked into? There is a key to your lock. But it takes some reflection to find it.

The operative word in the fill-in-the-blank statement is “was.”

Notice that “was” indicates it’s in the past. The reflective exercise is this: Refer to what you were locked into as being “in the past.”

“In the past” is a concept I learned from Dr. Dave Dobson. Below is an excerpt from a free ebook I offer on success that illustrates Dave’s teaching:

“In the past” is a phrase that works its own magic when continuously applied. If it is your habit to say, “I’m not very artistic,” say something like this instead. “In the past, I haven’t been very artistic.” The consistent referencing of the observation as “In the past,” is a pattern interrupt. The pattern interrupt, “In the past,” sets the stage for your mind to come up with additional options that will move you forward.”

There is magic in the phrase “in the past.” You just have to practice the trick often enough so you have it down pat.

“In the past” is the key to the lock. Practice using the phrase until you open up unseen options – options that free you from the limiting concept that seemed like a life sentence.

I was unaware of this technique until I wasn’t.

Now it’s your turn to turn “is” into “was.” It’s a simple matter of practicing the English rules for tense that you learned a long time ago.

Is “in the past” the key to your lock? Jiggle it a few times and find out, first hand, what’s on the other side of “was.”

All the best,

John

Have you ever described someone as “Different”? In most cases it’s a put down. “Let’s be kind and say he/she’s ‘different.'”

What does different mean? I’m sure there are many interpretations but here’s mine: Different = Not like me.

This opinion comes from an attitude of superiority. “Not like me” means I’m better. Not necessarily better in the sense of measurable data but better in our world view.

We assessed that our vantage point is the best without investigating the angles of view others have. That’s a limited view that cries out for expansion.

What makes someone different? Adopt their angle of view and you’ll have a better sense of how and why they do the things they do.

We’ve all been asked the hypothetical question: “What would you have done in that situation?” We immediately come up with an answer different from the one that was apparently used by someone in that described set of circumstances. The real answer to that question is, “I don’t know.”

We may think we know what we would do, but if that same scenario presented itself to us, we may act in the same way the other person did.

“Walk a mile in my shoes“ is more than an old expression and an old song title. It’s an invitation to find out that different is the same depending on the circumstances.

Reminds me of a story . . . Years ago, I had a disagreement with another person at a seminar we were both attending. We said some nasty things to each other. Fast forward to a few hours later when cooler heads prevailed and we declared a truce and decided to just talk. The disagreement was about how we differed in our treatment of people. I thought my position was right and she thought hers was the correct position. it all came down to different conditioning. Then I remember this popping out of my mouth: “Ya know, if I was brought up in your house, I would probably have the same view as you and the reverse is also true.”

We weren’t really that different; we just had different conditioning.

My experience is this: If you view someone from a different angle, you may begin to notice that they’re not so different.

All the best,

John

Did you ever notice it takes more energy to disagree than to agree?

It’s easier to say yes than it is to say no. But no seems to win the day, at least for me.

My theory up to this point has been, it’s easier to backtrack from a no than it is to a yes.

Taking back a yes yields disappointment. Taking back a no is greeted with elation.

My theory may work when raising teenagers but I believe it’s outdated in everyday life. Yes seems to be the better answer when looking for a fuller life.

Saying yes more often leads to more opportunities. There’s no guarantee that they’ll work out, but you can be sure they will show up in more abundance than if you say no.

I’m training myself to say yes more often. It’s a work in progress. It’s a guaranteed method to be exposed to more of what the world has to offer. No just screams, “Stop the world, I want to get off.”

Looking for more opportunity? Yes or no?

If you answered no, you’ll continue to have the life you have. If you answered yes, pack your bags for a new journey.

All the best,

John

The Grasshopper has joined Mr. Peabody in the “WABAC Time Machine” and uncovered this:

“‘Deserve’ Is Just Another Way To Try And Explain Away Reality.”

One of my claims is the notion of “Deserve” doesn’t exist in reality. We made it up and it lets us down.

Examine the word in context: “I don’t deserve that kind of treatment.” “You deserved that promotion, not her.” Have you noticed the reality in the statements? The reality is you got the kind of treatment you got and you didn’t get the promotion. “Deserve” attempts to spin reality in order to remove its sting.

It never works.

No matter how much you deserved better treatment or that promotion, you didn’t get either, and wallowing in “deserve” makes you a frequent guest at a never-ending pity party.

Best to notice the reality of the situation so you can respond to it rather than to the illusion of deserve.

Asking the following types of questions will have you look forward rather than get sidetracked down the dirt path of deserve: “I got that treatment, so how do I prevent myself from getting it again?” “I didn’t get the promotion, so what is my course of action now?”

Think about the absurdity of this statement: “That baby deer didn’t deserve to have that tree limb fall on it.” The reality is that reality doesn’t favor anyone, including Bambi. Attempting to explain it away doesn’t cause it to go away, it only keeps us crippled in the forest.

This is an invitation to examine the concept of deserve in your life and to notice how it holds you back. Once you have that realization, you’ll be less apt to explain and complain and you’ll witness deserve on the wane. It’s a tried and true method for getting you out of the woods.

All the best,

John

Here’s a past reminder from The Grasshopper that will keep you from stepping in it:

“Taking The Next Step Is Difficult When You Don’t Know The Step You’re On Now.”

Looking to make your next move? Odds are it won’t be fruitful if you step off from a place you’re not.

Most of us have no idea where we currently are. That’s why it’s so difficult to get to where we want to go. We fail to notice or acknowledge our current location.

Our self-assessment is clouded. Have you ever heard a friend or close family member say something like, “I’m a people person”? You choke back your response, which you want to shout from the rooftops: “NO YOU’RE NOT!” But you hold your tongue and the other person remains married to an illusion.

So now that you have an appreciation of people making cases for where they’re not, it’s time for you to open up the file on you.

What location are you arguing for that contains none of your footprints?

My hobby is photography. I read photography blogs, visit photography YouTube channels and take online and in-person classes. If you catch me at a weak moment, I may say something as stupid as, “I’m as good as these guys/gals.” NO I’M NOT!

I may have taken a few great photographs over the years but my consistent output is nowhere near the level of the people whom I follow. I may wonder why I can’t get to the next level if I mistakenly believe “I’m as good as they are.”

The wondering ceases when I recognize where I am on the scale. If I’m at a 5 on a scale of 10 and the people I follow are at a 9 or 10 on the same scale, I have found my location. Now it’s my job to figure out, not how to get to 10, but how to get to 6, then 7, etc.

Moving up the scale requires action, not more thinking. What are these ace photographers doing on a daily basis that I’m not? I found the answer: They’re actually shooting and I’m reading about or thinking about shooting.

So the step I’m actually on is a long distance from the step they’re on. If I fail to recognize that, my next step will be into a big pile of dog poop.

If your progress forward has been halted, it may be time to take stock of where you really are before you venture on to your next step. This noticing will give you better footing on your way forward and your brighter future will have a better chance of developing.

All the best,

John

Here’s a Grasshopper “Flashback Friday” offering:

“Que Sera, Sera Is A Hands-Off Philosophy.”

The lyrics from the song QUE SERA, SERA assert “whatever will be, will be” without ever considering our input in determining our future.

What Was/What Is/ What Will Be are three stages in all of our lives. “What Was” is history, “What Is” is what determines “What Will Be.” In order to have influence on what will be, you have to be present to what is.

Staying in the past (staying in your head) won’t give you the presence of mind to notice what is. Assigning your future to fate negates your ability to influence it by ignoring the present.

What is going on right now is what determines your future, not some mystical, predestined force. I’m not suggesting that you can predict your future; leave that to those who claim to be seers. I’m suggesting that you can influence your future by being more present to the only time you can be present – that’s NOW!

What you consciously do now has more of an effect on your future than any philosophy you’ve come to believe.

When you take action with the presence of mind of presence, those actions are infused with the building blocks of a desired future. If you leave your future to fate, you can plan on more of what you’ve experienced in the past and call it “God’s Will.”

Noticing where we are now presents a certain clarity as to where we will be headed if we continue on our current path. Becoming present to now opens a portal to the future and lets us consider options rather than being blown about by the myth of fate.

Want a say in your future? Take off the blinders that prevent you from seeing now. If you’re stuck, you’re either stuck in the past or stuck on the idea of predestination. The way forward is taking a hard look at where you actually are now. It brings reality into planning your future and leaves QUE SERA, SERA to those who are destined to repeat their past.

All the best,

John

Here’s a Grasshopper musing from not too long ago:

“Celebrate even when the skies are cloudy.”

Anyone seeking perpetual blue skies is caught in a marketer’s daydream.

Think of life as a case of clouds forming and clouds dissipating with an occasional period of pure blue sky. Anyone selling blue sky as the norm wants your dollars to keep them warm.

This “temporary blue sky” perspective has nothing to do with glasses being half full or empty. It’s a matter of how reality happens.

Whether you heed the words of poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow or spiritual writer Eckhart Tolle, the message is the same. Longfellow notes that “into each life some rain must fall” and Tolle says, “It is the nature of the world of form that nothing stays fixed for very long – and so it starts to fall apart again. Forms dissolve; new forms arise. Watch the clouds. They will teach you about the world of form.”

It seems the imbedded message is: don’t wait to celebrate.

“When the kids are older,” “when I retire,” “when I hit the lottery” are all symptoms of waiting for blue skies.

There is something to celebrate in each moment. We just have to take the time to notice regardless of the metaphorical weather.

To my eyes, celebration seems absent in most peoples’ lives, except for scheduled merriments that show up on a calendar: birthdays, holidays etc. If that’s you, you’re living under a self-imposed cloud or you live in Ithaca, NY (one of the more cloudy spots in the USA).

Take time to celebrate every day. It doesn’t have to be a monumental event. It could be as minor as removing a smudge from a mirror. “Damn that looks good!”

One celebration builds on another and before too long you’re in the habit of celebrating.

If you’re blue, find something to celebrate. It will bring a patch of blue sky to a gray day.

All the best,

John