Have you ever described someone as “Different”? In most cases it’s a put down. “Let’s be kind and say he/she’s ‘different.'”

What does different mean? I’m sure there are many interpretations but here’s mine: Different = Not like me.

This opinion comes from an attitude of superiority. “Not like me” means I’m better. Not necessarily better in the sense of measurable data but better in our world view.

We assessed that our vantage point is the best without investigating the angles of view others have. That’s a limited view that cries out for expansion.

What makes someone different? Adopt their angle of view and you’ll have a better sense of how and why they do the things they do.

We’ve all been asked the hypothetical question: “What would you have done in that situation?” We immediately come up with an answer different from the one that was apparently used by someone in that described set of circumstances. The real answer to that question is, “I don’t know.”

We may think we know what we would do, but if that same scenario presented itself to us, we may act in the same way the other person did.

“Walk a mile in my shoes“ is more than an old expression and an old song title. It’s an invitation to find out that different is the same depending on the circumstances.

Reminds me of a story . . . Years ago, I had a disagreement with another person at a seminar we were both attending. We said some nasty things to each other. Fast forward to a few hours later when cooler heads prevailed and we declared a truce and decided to just talk. The disagreement was about how we differed in our treatment of people. I thought my position was right and she thought hers was the correct position. it all came down to different conditioning. Then I remember this popping out of my mouth: “Ya know, if I was brought up in your house, I would probably have the same view as you and the reverse is also true.”

We weren’t really that different; we just had different conditioning.

My experience is this: If you view someone from a different angle, you may begin to notice that they’re not so different.

All the best,

John