Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 8-31-20.

Read the written version here.

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Now that hurricane season is upon us, and as we witness the devastation these storms do, it’s instructive to know if we’re on the “dirty side” of the storm.

The “dirty side” of the storm, the right side, contains the maximum hurricane impact and the most dangerous winds. In basic terms, if the storm is heading north, the left side (west) will contain the most water and the right side (east) will contain the most wind.

Both sides are dangerous but the dirty side is the one that causes the most structural damage.

Our country is involved in other violent storms: the pandemic and the divisiveness of our society. Each of these gales seems to have a side. I’ll leave it to your good judgement as to which side is causing the most damage and the side you form your personal affinity around. But when you come right down to it, these sides are just arguments – not solutions.

If you spend all your time at odds and spend your time and energy looking for examples to fortify your opinion, you are working on the wrong side (the dirty side) of the equation.

If you truly want things to add up, you need to be working on a solution. There are plenty of people who can tell you what the problems are; there are too few working on solutions. Just look at our congress for example – as divided as anytime in our life time. This “deliberative body” is not delivering solutions because it’s using maximum wind attempting to blow the other side apart, and compromising has become a lost art.

In a flooded out area, are you going to be a windbag or a sandbag? You won’t come to a solution if you continue to deride, you’ll just remain on the devastating “dirty side.”

All the best,

John

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The Grasshopper popped in in the middle of me doing a crossword puzzle and had this to say: “Stress is a reaction to reality.”

Stress may be a noun in the English language, but it’s not a thing. It’s an action. More pointedly, it’s a conditioned reaction.

The number of people who say, “my stress” believe it’s a thing. Stress is not a thing waiting to attack you. It’s a reaction to a stimulus that you have conditioned or has been conditioned into you.

But this is more than a treatise on semantics; it’s an invitation to look at reality.

Stress doesn’t exist. It’s a made up word to describe our reaction to what’s happening around us. “I’m so stressed out by the pandemic” needs to be translated into, “My reaction to the pandemic is to feel lousy.”

When you recognize stress is a reaction, then you realize you have a choice: to respond differently. When you make stress a thing, it’s as lame as saying, “I had no choice. The devil made me do it.”

We use stress as an excuse not to take any action. When you make it a thing, you give it power and permission to immobilize you.

Begin to look at stress in a new light: a reaction to reality rather than a response. A reaction has you “re-act” the same way again and again. A response is a conscious choice that heads you in a new direction.

Stress, like anger and depression, is not a thing. It’s a conditioned reaction to a stimulus.

Think of it this way: A reaction chooses you; you choose a response.

When you throw in the clutch (that means when you offer yourself a choice), you can switch gears from a reaction to a response. Responding is a proven way to drive away from stress.

All the best,

John

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Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 8-24-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

On the ride home from getting a haircut, the Grasshopper hit me with this snippet: “A goal without a plan is a wish. A wish without action will be your dying wish.”

Phew, some heavy stuff there. Here’s my takeaway from that quote: You’ll go to the hereafter without getting what you’re after if your goal remains a hope.

I hope this doesn’t offend you but hope is a mental construct – something we made up – something to ease our angst while we sit by idly and expect magic to happen without taking any action.

“I hope it doesn’t rain” has no effect on the weather.

“Hoping,” and it’s second cousin, “Wishing” are the language of languishment.

I realize there are active and passive people in the world. Passive people live in a world others create and active people create their world. But even a passive person like me recognizes you can’t pass the buck and depend on luck.

All motivation is self-motivation. No one else can motivate a “hoping” you unless you’re open to taking some action.

I’ve mentioned this too many times to mention, but it’s appropriate here. When I was a kid, we went to a bank that used this slug line in their ads: “Wishing won’t do it; saving will.”

Don’t let your dying wish be, “I wish I had’ve done (fill in the blank).” Take the advice issued by my boyhood bank. Save your wishes and don’t rely on hope. To reach your goal, you need some elbow grease and a little bit of soap.

All the best,

John

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Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Long ago, I made a conscious choice to remain apolitical in or on any public forum. It keeps me out of pointless arguments that just amount to me saying “I’m right and you’re wrong” – a surefire phrase to keep you at odds.

Like you, I have opinions but I’m not castigating you for having ones different from mine.

Let’s pretend that you don’t believe in God. Do you think there is any argument you can make that is going to win over a God fearing person to your side?

I respect that people have different opinions about who they’re going to support and I applaud their right to say so publicly, no matter how off base I think they are.

When we insist our opinions are dogma, we only reach the ears of the already converted.

The political opinions that I completely ignore come from people who are too lazy or too impressionable to vet the information they put out for public consumption. I can’t tell you the number of social media postings I’ve seen from all sides of the political spectrum that not only strain credulity, but crush it like a bug.

It would be too easy to pejoratively call these people “stupid,” but they’re not. Misinformed and easily led by information that panders to their bias would be a more accurate description.

When it comes to politics, I’m like the brothers who play on opposing sports teams. “Bro, I hope you win every game, except the one you play against me.”

I hope your candidates win except in the cases where they oppose mine, but you won’t see me trying to convince you that you’re wrong through the grapevine.

All the best,

John

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I think it’s a pretty save bet to say that we all want to be liked. I know I do.

When likability goes out the window for me is when I’m teaching. Then, it’s not so important that you like me, but that you can learn from me, and vice-versa.

I’ve learned quite a bit from people I don’t like. it took me a while to get to that point, until I realized that what they had to offer was more valuable to me than my resistance to them.

Years ago when I was in broadcasting, I worked for a radio programmer that I loathed. He was a bully, a slob, a know-it-all, and a kook all rolled into one, unattractive package. I hated going to work every day knowing that I would have to encounter him. I’m embarrassed to admit that I would sometimes purposely, physically bump into him in the hallway hoping that he would react so that I would have an excuse to pummel him. Luckily for me that never happened.

In spite of abhorring his existence, I learned quite a few useful things from him that served me well throughout my career. If this were a Hallmark movie script that I wrote, we would find this character on the junk heap of life. But in reality, he’s gone on to be one of the biggest suppliers of digital audio equipment to radio stations. He was a genius that I hated, but learned from.

I readily admit that it’s easier to learn from someone you like. Just think of your favorite high school teacher.

It’s harder to learn from someone you don’t like until you can separate the message from the messenger. Then, learning is the mission, not the distraction of dislike.

Everyone has something to teach you; you just may have to set aside your prejudice for a moment or two for their message to get through.

All the best,

John

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It seems we as a society are caught in a dichotomy between “Should Be” and “Can Be.”

One side is passionately behind “should” and the other side has just as much ardor for “can.”

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here by saying that older folks are mostly in the should camp and the younger group favors can.

It seems idealism is a hallmark of youth and certainty is the gold standard for the older generation.

Like all dichotomies, they have to reach a blending point in order to dissolve divisiveness and restore harmony between the factions.

I think the middle ground is realism.

“Should Be” leans towards the way it was and “Can Be” has its eyes on the future.

Both are ignoring what’s happening now.

You can’t get to your desired destination if you don’t know where you currently are. As the old comedic line reminds us: “You can’t get there from here.”

We get so caught up in “should” and “can” that we ignore “is.” “Is” is the only jump-off point. Look at what is really happening now in its raw form without adding meaning to it.

My friend Jerry Stocking introduced me to grounded assessments. They are statements that 12 jurors can agree on. For example, if you witness a car hitting a tree and you say, “The careless driver ignored the rules of the road and slammed into the beautiful tree,” you have made an “ungrounded” assessment. Notice how much conjecture is in that short statement. There is no conjecture by saying, “The car hit the tree.” 12 jurors could agree with that assessment.

Adjectives and adverbs add meaning, and meaning distorts what’s agreeable.

If you state “what is” without meaning, you’re as close to the truth as you’re going to get, and farther away from an argument.

If you label what you say as your opinion rather than stating it as a fact, you’re getting warm. If you insist your opinion is fact, you’re going to be left on the cold fringe of a dichotomy, and don’t be too surprised when people start avoiding you in droves.

We “can be” more agreeable (the way it “should be”) if we ground our assessments in reality.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 8-17-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

What did David use to slay Goliath? Anyone who’s read the story answers, “rock.”

Goliath can be a metaphor for fear. After all, isn’t fear the biggest, baddest emotion on the planet?

Fear incapacitates everything, including the one thing that can take away it’s power: common sense.

David had to step back from his fear and find an equalizer to defeat the giant. That’s when he found his rock: common sense.

I think our common sense is in need of smelling salts. Fear has put it on the canvas. The way to resuscitate it is to jar our senses with the one potion that will bring it around: Recognition. Recognize you possess the power to respond to fear with common sense.

Common sense is the great equalizer. Fear has driven it into hiding, and relentlessly continues its intimidation, knowing that if you come to your senses, he a goner.

Common sense is not so much logic as it is a gut reaction. If you know in your bones that something’s not right, it’s not only your right, but also your duty to sling a rock at it. If you don’t, you’ll live in the shadow of fear and be kept in the dark about the things fear doesn’t want you to discover.

Common sense is in short supply in our world today and fear is winning the day. The way to turn the tide is to recognize that your common sense can tan its hide.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.