When someone passes on, someone else formally says some nice things about them. That’s often a moving tribute, although sad.

But it’s not the saddest eulogy. That one can be stated in five words: “He/She never outgrew their conditioning.”

We are born without conditioning. We arrive as a pure package – a “bundle of joy,” if you will. But, before too long, we were exposed to the preferences, prejudices, and points of view of our early caregivers. We unknowingly sucked them up like a sponge.

There are plenty of wonderful things we were conditioned into, but they are often outweighed by the sheer number of angles of view we absorbed that will never be true, even though we believe them through and through.

These positions get reinforced throughout our life as we bond with like-minded people, never realizing that we got most of what we believe by osmosis, or, as I like to say, “by accident.”

Have you ever held a long standing belief up to the light? What you may discover are all the stains of past conditioning. Most stained beliefs cannot be validated other than by you asserting that you believe them. They are devoid of facts but loaded with emotion.

Having done a radio talk show years ago, I was exposed daily to people vociferously and angrily arguing their beliefs without any facts to back them up. The best they could do is bring up something anecdotal they believed proved their point.

For example, if I stated a statistical fact like, “Our football team has the oldest starting lineup in the league,” someone would argue the point by saying, “We just signed a young running back.” To them, that countered the statistics I presented.

Have you been labeled oppositional a time or two, or more? Chances are, you are holding onto beliefs that you deliver with volume, but only they arrive as discordant noise.

Reconditioning or outgrowing your conditioning begins with self-examination. Take a look at your beliefs, warts and all, and decide if they’re still working for you. If so, hold on to them. But if you find that they’re getting in your way, it’s time to send them packing.

I doubt any of us will be able to get back to the pure state of when we first arrived, but we can drop some of the burdensome baggage while we’re still alive.

All the best,

John

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