I think it’s a pretty save bet to say that we all want to be liked. I know I do.

When likability goes out the window for me is when I’m teaching. Then, it’s not so important that you like me, but that you can learn from me, and vice-versa.

I’ve learned quite a bit from people I don’t like. it took me a while to get to that point, until I realized that what they had to offer was more valuable to me than my resistance to them.

Years ago when I was in broadcasting, I worked for a radio programmer that I loathed. He was a bully, a slob, a know-it-all, and a kook all rolled into one, unattractive package. I hated going to work every day knowing that I would have to encounter him. I’m embarrassed to admit that I would sometimes purposely, physically bump into him in the hallway hoping that he would react so that I would have an excuse to pummel him. Luckily for me that never happened.

In spite of abhorring his existence, I learned quite a few useful things from him that served me well throughout my career. If this were a Hallmark movie script that I wrote, we would find this character on the junk heap of life. But in reality, he’s gone on to be one of the biggest suppliers of digital audio equipment to radio stations. He was a genius that I hated, but learned from.

I readily admit that it’s easier to learn from someone you like. Just think of your favorite high school teacher.

It’s harder to learn from someone you don’t like until you can separate the message from the messenger. Then, learning is the mission, not the distraction of dislike.

Everyone has something to teach you; you just may have to set aside your prejudice for a moment or two for their message to get through.

All the best,

John

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