After working with hundreds of thousands of people who want to change their lives, the amount of time I hear the justification for limitations is more staggering than a Mike Tyson interview or punch.

Just yesterday I spoke to a gentleman who wants to stop smoking. I specifically outlined what was necessary for him to be long-term successful. He immediately went into a litany of reasons he can’t do those things. I point blank told him that he doesn’t have a plan to stop smoking, but rather a wish. He said I was questioning his desire. I responded that I was merely putting a spotlight on his strategy that’s not working.

I asked him if it was possible for a person buried in credit card debt to spend their way to prosperity. He said he thought that was impossible. I asked him how he would advise that person. He said he would tell them they needed a financial plan that would require more discipline than the current plan they had. And then there was a long pause and he asked, “I’m really advising myself, aren’t I?”

“Why I Can’t” is a disease we all suffer from. This isn’t a platform speech on positive thinking, but rather an effort to get us to defocus on limitations.

Your first clue that this disease is full blown is when you start using justifications to keep your limitations in place. Justifying failures keeps failure in place. It’s pure drug addict logic. The drug addict, gambler, alcohol abuser, etc. when confronted with the results of their behavior will often shift gears. They will deftly pivot to blaming someone else and say something like, “If you were under all the pressure I am, you would (fill in the blank) too.” Their position shifts to the justification of “Why I Can’t.”

But the “Why I Can’t” strategy goes well past addictions. It’s alive, well and pervasive in our everyday lives. It’s become such a part of our make-up that we don’t even recognize it. We argue for our limitations in every area of our lives and it takes its toll on our peace of mind. Spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle says,

“Listen to people’s stories, and you’ll find that they could all be entitled “Why I Cannot Be at Peace Now.”

Every time we justify a limitation we postpone our peace.

Take a moment today and examine the justifications for your story and notice how they act as the glue of gloom.

You can’t justify your way to peace any more than you can spend your way to prosperity. As Daniel Quinn brilliantly says in his book Ishmael,

“There is no argument powerful enough to end the argument.”

The solution then seems to be to suspend the argument and focus on finding the peace.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com/blog

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

Human beings are receivers of ideas. We don’t think them up.

I have often been amused by the term “Think Tanks.” If that’s what people really did at those events, they would have to rename them “Stink Tanks.”

Thinking is the act of having the same thought go round and round in your head wearing different disguises so as to appear different. Thinking is being stuck. Stuck ideas begin to ferment and smell.

When you have an “Ah-Ha” moment and say, “I just thought of a great idea,” you have mislabeled the process. A more accurate statement would be, “I just received a great idea.” There isn’t as much credit given to you by saying it that way, but that is really what happened.

Anyone can run the same old ideas around in their head and then spout them out. That’s thinking.

Receiving is allowing a fresh perspective to emerge. We do that by allowing our thinking to calm down.

Brainstorming is a conscious strategy that produces receiving. Your charge when brainstorming is not to think up an answer, but to just free associate and see what happens. The mission is about creativity – not answers. The creative process can then be turned over to the logicians, after the fact, to see which new perspectives are workable. Brainstorming opens the mind up to receiving by encouraging the removal of critical consciousness.

Critical consciousness also calms down when we engage in some sort of meditative practice. This can be less formal than sitting cross-legged and chanting “Om.” You can just take a break from the day, close your eyes for a few minutes, and do an inventory of your body. That means focusing your attention on each body part for a few seconds and feel what’s going on there. When you focus on your body, you free space in your mind for something new to pop in. If you would like some coaching on this method, purchase my RELAX IN 2 MINUTES CD.

Another way of coming up with fresh “thinking” on a topic is to dedicate the time it takes to do a rote task to producing a new perspective on something you’d like an answer to. If you exercise, dedicate your workout to having your mind solve the query while you just go about exercising. You can use this same dedication strategy while washing the dishes or the car, cleaning the garage, paying bills, or any other activity where your conscious mind is occupied.

Just by taking the time to dedicate a task to your mission will engage your internal resources to go to work on your goal while you work on your assignment.

There is a certain amount of trust that’s necessary to allow yourself to receive. It’s fundamental. In football, a receiver practices basic fundamentals all the time so that when game day comes, he can just allow himself to receive the ball.

Practice the fundamentals of dedicating common tasks to solve sticky problems and you’ll receive more passes, if you catch my drift.

All the best,

John

P.S. A final reminder to join us this afternoon at 3 PM for insight into your Self Image. Here are the details:

How does your Self Image contribute to your success or lack of it? Find out this afternoon, October 2, 2008 at 3PM Eastern Time as I appear as a guest on Jonathan Manske‘s “Inevitable Success” Internet Radio Show. The topic will be how your Self Image contributes to your success, and we will offer specific strategies to improve and update your Self Image.

All you have to do to participate is go to the website, www.realcoachingradio.com, and you will be able to see, hear and participate in the discussion either by calling in or text chatting with us.  I know you will find this discussion inspiring as we share the secret to success – SELF IMAGE.

Again, the show is this afternoon, October 2^nd at 3 PM Eastern Time. Logon to www.realcoachingradio.com and join us for this stirring experience.

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com/blog

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

Singer, songwriter Paul Anka wrote the song “MY WAY” for Frank Sinatra. The Beatles had a song called “WE CAN WORK IT OUT” which starts with the lyrics, “Try and see it my way.” And, of course, there’s the famous expression “My way or the highway.” The Grasshopper weighed in on the topic and said, “Seeing it your way is impossible because they viewed it from a different angle.”

Even if we experienced the same event, my memories of it are not yours. Me wanting you to have my memories and/or my point of view is hubris of the highest level and ignores the scientific aspect of angles and the absolute reality that people see things differently.

“My Way” is a demand, not a garden variety request. A demand always has some sort of threat implied – real or veiled. “My Way” is an attempt to control, not persuade.

We will argue more forcefully for something when the word “My” is attached.

I guess that’s why one of Burger King’s advertising campaigns was so successful – “Have it your way.”

Famed business consultant, Fernando Flores says there are only four things you can do with language:

1. Make an assertion
2. Make a declaration
3. Make a request
4. Make a promise.

Jerry Stocking goes on to explain that an assertion is your relationship to things, a declaration is your relationship with yourself, and requests and promises reveal your relationship with others.

To instantly find out what your relationship is with another on a specific topic, make a request of them. Their response, which is their promise to comply or not, will disclose your relationship on that topic. If you then go into “My Way” mode, you have gone to the dark side of request – which is a demand.

Demands, almost always, shut the door to communication and compromise.

“My Way” has a poor percentage of getting you what you want.

The highway is filled with people driving away from people who employ this strategy, leaving the “My Wayers” in the wake of exhausted fumes.

There is a direct correlation between “My Way” and the time you spend in isolation. You can continue ruling the kingdom of one, or you can get curious how compromise and cooperation have people beat a path to your door.

All the best,

John

P.S. I remind you again about the opportunity to join us tomorrow on the “Inevitable Success” Internet radio show.

How does your Self Image contribute to your success or lack of it? Find out this Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 3PM Eastern Time as I appear as a guest on Jonathan Manske‘s “Inevitable Success” Internet Radio Show. The topic will be how your Self Image contributes to your success, and we will offer specific strategies to improve and update your Self Image.

All you have to do to participate is go to the website, www.realcoachingradio.com, and you will be able to see, hear and participate in the discussion either by calling in or text chatting with us.  I know you will find this discussion inspiring as we share the secret to success – SELF IMAGE.

Again, the show is this Thursday, October 2^nd at 3 PM Eastern Time. Logon to www.realcoachingradio.com and join us for this stirring experience.

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com/blog

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

All the best,

John