- Thoughts for inspired living

April 28, 2009


Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 9:15 am

When I was a teenager, we went to a place to swim called the Swarthmore Quarry. It was a quarry that was filled with water and it was back in the woods and had “Keep Out” signs posted, so that made it ideal for teenage boys.

We would swim in the water and take dives off the protruding rocks on the side. One of them was about 12 to 15 feet above water level and we could all handle jumping and diving from that height. Then we noticed there was another protruding rock way up above us. We determined it was 100 feet. It was more like 80, but it was high. We climbed up there and the dare was to dive from that height.

My friend, Bob went first and I went second. The other two walked back down without diving. They called us brave. As I look back on it with adult eyes, it was stupid. Some would call it adventure, testing your limits, but it was boys being boys.

It got me to wondering about men doing boy like things and it dawned on me that it makes them feel young again. It’s like a Fountain of Youth. The only real difficulty I see is the loss of agility that men have when they contemplate doing boy things. Then The Grasshopper jumped in feet first and said this:

“Men do these things because they are afraid of dying. Women do these things because they’re afraid of not living.”

Holy Cow Wow! I think he’s on to something.

Here is some dialogue from the movie Moonstruck to underscore the male side of The Grasshopper’s observation.

Rose: Why do men chase women?
Johnny: Well, there’s a Bible story… God… God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Now maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When God took the rib, he left a big hole there, where there used to be something. And the women have that. Now maybe, just maybe, a man isn’t complete as a man without a woman.
Rose: [frustrated] But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don’t know. Maybe because he fears death.
[Rose looks up, eyes wide, suspicions confirmed]
Rose: That’s it! That’s the reason!
Johnny: I don’t know…
Rose: No! That’s it! Thank you! Thank you for answering my question!

My sense is that many women fear mundane more than they do death. In their minds they more than likely have it equated with death. Now “mundane” is an elastic word meaning different things to different people but in most cases it has the sense of trapped to it and the scent of death.

Following this logic, the adventuresome side of a woman is peaked when they feel they aren’t living. Men may go climb Kilimanjaro to chase away the fear of death, but women will go looking for life – often in all the wrong places.

Both men and women look outside themselves for an answer that’s not there. When you come back from the African Safari, the fear is still there. When you come back from touring the wine fields in Tuscany, you are still feeling unfulfilled.

The life that both men and women are seeking is always available – just not in the cultural form you think it needs to show up in. We have been conditioned to seeking rather than finding. Finding happens when seeking desists. When you put to rest the notion that what you are looking for is outside of yourself, you find the peace that you have been seeking. It’s always the case.

Yes, travel to all the points on the planet you can afford to visit. Have wonderful times and see wonderful things. Just don’t make the mistake of thinking “this is it” because you will be disappointed time after time.

There is a great book written by Russell Conwell called Acres of Diamonds which was based on a speech he gave over 5000 times in the 1920’s. The premise of the message is that there are diamonds present right where you are. You needn’t travel the world to seek them. Conwell was talking about financial treasures but the same message is applicable to the treasure we all seek – peace of mind.

It comes when we do a little soul searching and find our own gem within.

Happy digging!

All the best,


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