- Thoughts for inspired living

April 2, 2009


Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:30 am

I am often amused by people who give advice on parenting. I am equally amused when they tell you they have the right way to parent.

My late mentor, Dr. Dave Dobson said it best: “We are all amateur parents.”

There are no degrees offered in parenting. If there are, please show me the children of the teachers before I sign up.

Every parent has a different formula whether they realize it or not.

The reason I’m amused by the parenting “experts” is that they either give advice or start spouting doctrine before the full evidence has been presented.

The full evidence is an adult that’s functioning well in society.

The parceling out of unsolicited parenting advice is as silly as bragging how great your cake is going to taste after putting a bunch of unknown ingredients into your mix.

It may very well be a successful recipe but I wouldn’t try it until I tasted the final product.

Brag all you want about your kids but save your parenting advice to others until your children are grown.

Reminds me of a story . . .

We had a neighbor many years ago who was politely suggesting that what we were doing with our child was not the best way to go. She offered, in a non direct way, that the method that she was using with her child was better. My wife politely nodded and when she was out of earshot said, “Check with me in 20 years.”

There is no winning a parenting argument. Parenting practice is a belief that we got like many other of our beliefs – we don’t know how we got it. We absorbed some of it from our own amateur parents and the rest we made up.

People who offer parenting advice, by and large, are well meaning individuals but they lack evidence.

If you’re looking for a parenting model other than the one you have, look a generation ahead of you and look at the young adults you would like your children to have the traits of. Then find their parents and explore their recipe.

My parenting days are over and I would never offer anyone a prescription unless asked. I would offer this: Do the best you can and trust what your gut is telling you.

Just don’t announce that you have the secret formula until your evidence matures.

All the best,


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