“Unripened” is defined as not fully developed or mature as in unripened fruit. We all get that it needs more time to come to fruition.

Humans need more than time to fully mature. We need recognition – recognition of what I define as the 4 Signs of Immaturity.

How many of these warning signs do you have?

It occurred to me that 4 things stunt our growth on the trail to maturity and here they are:

1. A Polarity Response.
2. Failure to take responsibility for your actions.
3. Failure to apologize.
4. When you’re upset, you’re upset with everyone.

Anyone who has raised children recognizes these signs as teenage behavior but we don’t normally recognize the behavior in ourselves. Most of us outgrow teenage behaviors; some of us never fully mature. Let’s look more closely at the 4 Signs of Immaturity.

POLARITY RESPONSE The easiest way to define it is, “I say white and you say black.” The word “oppositional” comes to mind. This person is quick to disagree. We all have polarity to something; these folks have it to almost everything. Their first inkling is to go the other way or to make you wrong. My experience is that someone in their formative years made them wrong.

FAILURE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY Nothing is ever their fault. Even if they believe it’s their fault, they can’t admit it because in doing so it would crack the image that they want the world to see. For them, that’s a fate worse than death.

FAILURE TO APOLOGIZE The words “I’m sorry” may leave their lips but it’s immediately followed by a justification. The justification often takes the form of “You made me do that.” Another justification is a mindset they own that says “I do so much good that you ought to overlook this transgression.” That would be like a philanthropist who donates millions of dollars to the hospital but exposes himself one time in the nurse’s lounge. He thinks no apology is necessary. A true apology would mean they were wrong, and wrong is not a feeling they can tolerate.

UPSET WITH EVERYONE These folks cannot compartmentalize upset. That means that you’ll get the same snarly behavior from them that the offending party receives. They don’t recognize that you had nothing to do with their upset but they want you to also pay the price. That’s called “selfish.”

How mature are you?

If you have one of these signs, you can easily label yourself as 75% mature, two of them 50%, three of them 25%, and if you have all four, you definitely don’t play well with others.

Recognition is the key to fruition. Notice and act on these warning signs and you’ll age to perfection.

All the best,

John

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