When someone passes on, someone else formally says some nice things about them. That’s often a moving tribute, although sad.

But it’s not the saddest eulogy. That one can be stated in five words: “He/She never outgrew their conditioning.”

We are born without conditioning. We arrive as a pure package – a “bundle of joy,” if you will. But, before too long, we were exposed to the preferences, prejudices, and points of view of our early caregivers. We unknowingly sucked them up like a sponge.

There are plenty of wonderful things we were conditioned into, but they are often outweighed by the sheer number of angles of view we absorbed that will never be true, even though we believe them through and through.

These positions get reinforced throughout our life as we bond with like-minded people, never realizing that we got most of what we believe by osmosis, or, as I like to say, “by accident.”

Have you ever held a long standing belief up to the light? What you may discover are all the stains of past conditioning. Most stained beliefs cannot be validated other than by you asserting that you believe them. They are devoid of facts but loaded with emotion.

Having done a radio talk show years ago, I was exposed daily to people vociferously and angrily arguing their beliefs without any facts to back them up. The best they could do is bring up something anecdotal they believed proved their point.

For example, if I stated a statistical fact like, “Our football team has the oldest starting lineup in the league,” someone would argue the point by saying, “We just signed a young running back.” To them, that countered the statistics I presented.

Have you been labeled oppositional a time or two, or more? Chances are, you are holding onto beliefs that you deliver with volume, but only they arrive as discordant noise.

Reconditioning or outgrowing your conditioning begins with self-examination. Take a look at your beliefs, warts and all, and decide if they’re still working for you. If so, hold on to them. But if you find that they’re getting in your way, it’s time to send them packing.

I doubt any of us will be able to get back to the pure state of when we first arrived, but we can drop some of the burdensome baggage while we’re still alive.

All the best,

John

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Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

The Grasshopper offered this oblique observation this morning: “Young isn’t stupid and old isn’t wise.”

After reflecting on the words, here’s what registered with me: It seems that we have too many stereotypes in our kit and caboodle. And when we employ them, we shut off our ability to learn something new.

Prejudice feeds on stereotypes.

When we get away from the macro and get down to the micro, we witness the cliche´ fade away.

We, too often, forget that we all want the same things: acknowledgement, love, peace, and kindness to name but a few. The “other” is really us in a different suit of clothes. They may look, act, and sound different, but upon closer inspection, we have more in common than we have differences.

The Bible passage, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” says so much in so few words. To me, it also suggests forgiveness. To love yourself, you have to forgive yourself, same goes for your neighbor.

When sorting things, it’s helpful to put them in a specific box. When assessing another, it’s downright neighborly to think outside the box, because that’s where you’re going to find common ground.

We’re always going to have differences with one another. The real question is: What can we learn from those differences? Look closely enough and you’ll find the commonality that makes a difference: That we’re all rowing in the same boat.

All the best,

John

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Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Who hasn’t had a creative idea come to mind? We’re all cauldrons of creativity but most times our inspiration lacks perspiration and our novel ideas dry up.

“Doing” is the least used verb in the vocabulary of a dreamer. That’s someone with both feet in the clouds, with not a leg to stand on when it comes to following through to make a dream come true.

We all have the ability to talk a good game. The people that get past the talk do what the rest refuse to do: DO!

Doing is the energy behind creation. It turns “Aha” into “Voila.”

Doing is a like a muscle. You need to use it or it atrophies.

Creativity will continue to come but if the ingredient to make it happen remains flabby and stationary, you’ve resigned yourself to burying your dreams.

The remedy is to do a little each day. Take on the foothills before you even think about scaling the mountain. Doing feeds on itself. It’s like saving money. It doesn’t seem like a lot when you begin, but regular, small contributions add up.

To sum up: Doing will energize your dreams and add the necessary action to your inspirational plans and schemes.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 8-10-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

When I was out for my morning walk yesterday, I saw a woman raking debris in her yard after the heavy wind storm we had. She said, “Hi” as I passed by, and I returned the greeting. She then said, “It never ends.”

Even though it was a casual comment from a person I didn’t know about the problems the recent weather caused, it was also a plea for respite.

“It never ends” is a revealing statement from someone who is feeling weighed down by the world.

Her statement was an accurate one, but it’s not about the weather or the pandemic; it’s really about reality. The “It” is reality, and it never ends. Reality is ongoing and it happens every second of every day.

This woman is not the only one feeling overwhelmed these days. It’s a mental pandemic affecting countless people. You can witness their angst talking to friends on the phone or Facetiming, Skyping, Zooming, or however you connect with others.

Here’s the overarching problem: These folks are tired of reality and don’t know how to remedy their feelings about it.

Wishing reality will end won’t do it. The remedy is learning to respond to reality vs. reacting to it. Reacting is our conditioning. It’s what we were mentally trained to do. Responding is looking at what is currently presented and giving yourself a choice. There is no choice in a reaction. “A” always causes “B.”

But what if you went further into the alphabet for a response other than “B”? If you do, you’ll find there are infinite ways to respond that go well past “Z.” When you offer a different response other than your normal one, you tap into a different area of your brain, and solutions you would have never thought of make an entrance.

If you want to stay feeling overwhelmed, keep reacting. But if you want more perspectives and different feelings, you need to exercise your ability to respond. We all have that ability but we rarely use it.

Start responding and offering yourself a choice and you’ll take away “it never end’s” antagonizing voice.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Do you know someone who knows ten times more than you know about a subject but can’t fight their way out of a paper bag when it comes to translating their knowledge into action?

I refer to that as “Caught up in the teachings.” It happens in every field: academia, therapy, religion, and sports just to name a few.

There’s a professional golfer named Jim Furyk who has one of the ugliest swings on tour. Almost every golf coach wanted to change him because he didn’t have the “proper” mechanics. But it certainly hasn’t kept Jim from winning tournaments and amassing tens of millions of dollars in winnings in his ongoing 28 year career.

Those coaches were trapped by their knowledge which was in hard cement. The rigidity of someone caught up in a philosophy is limiting.

I’m reminded of a Grasshopper quote from years ago: “The more rules you have, the less flexible you are.”

The less flexible you are, the fewer option you’ll perceive.

I like to quote one of my teachers Dr. Dave Dobson from moons ago. When someone asked him if he could help them with a problematic situation he would answer with, “I don’t know what’s not possible.”

We limit our possibilities when we’re bound by the book. It’s helpful to know what’s in the book, but sometimes you have to go off script to get results.

I’m reminded of another quote from another one of my teachers: NLP pioneer John Grinder. He said, “If you alway do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.” If you’re not getting results, you may want to examine your philosophy and your beliefs so you can bypass doctrine and get into doing.

I think any good teacher would like you to add to their teachings, not be hampered by them.

Sometimes you have to just walk past the talk so you don’t get caught up in your own words.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

During these times, I often think of the lyrics from an old Buffalo Springfield song: “A thousand people in the street, singing songs and carrying signs, mostly say, hooray for our side.”

The sad reality is that too many of us have picked a side, rather than looking for a solution.

We’d rather argue our facts and ignore the fact that we’re not seeking a way forward.

Some more lyrics from the Buffalo Springfield: “There’s battle lines being drawn, nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.”

Not everybody on the other side of whatever side you’re on is wrong.

Our focus is on division rather than finding out how far we can walk together. There may be lines you just can’t cross, but that doesn’t mean you can’t move a little in the opposite direction.

I’m savvy enough to be aware that there are the far fringes on both sides of any issue. Those folks will remain dogmatic and emphatic, and no amount of facts will sway them. If you truly want a solution, these people have to be totally ignored. But most of us are not on the far side but smack dab in the middle.

The Buddha offered us “The Middle Way” – describing the position between extremes as being the way to harmony.

Returning to song lyrics. singer and songwriter Joe South requested: “Walk a mile in my shoes.” You don’t have to be Captain Obvious to know that you’ll never take a single step when your feet are in concrete.

If you want to keep arguing that you’re right, in America, that’s your right. But if you really want a solution, you’ll have to put down your placards and roll up your sleeves and get a glimpse of what the other side needs.

To get more of that view, perhaps you’ll heed the words of Jesus: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

The Grasshopper chimed in with this on my morning walk: “Use your mind; don’t let it use you.”

It got me to “think about” the difference between planning and thinking.

Planning takes discernment – something our minds are quite capable of doing, along with sorting, labeling, and assembling data.

Thinking, on the other hand, is a road to nowhere that has us traveling around in circles.

Thinking thinks us; planning is us using our thinker.

Thinking is an internal voice that’s always blabbing trying to convince you that it’s you. It isn’t. It’s a bunch of thought loops on parade. The minute you engage with one of these thought loops, you have extracted yourself from who you really are and start believing you are who you “think” you are.

A question I often ask is: “Have you ever won an argument with your mind?” The answer is always “No,” yet we engage in this practice daily. You are arguing with a conditioned thought loop. It’s as silly as arguing with a tape recording of your voice.

Start to notice the difference between you using your mind and your mind using you. When you notice you’re in a thought loop, it’s the real you who does the noticing and it’s alerting you that you’re about to enter into another empty, seemingly endless diatribe.

Noticing that you’re in a thought loop creates spaces in your thinking – spaces that can let something new come through, like the idea of using your mind, not letting it use you.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 8-3-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.