Grasshopper Notes Blog » 2009

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March 13, 2009

Explain Yourself!

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 9:35 am

Did you ever notice that some people who ask for an explanation don’t want to be explained to?

If you start explaining to these folks, you are stepping in front of a firing squad.

The telltale sign is their request has the tone of a demand. This is the leading indicator that, even if you come up with the Wisdom of Solomon, your explanation will be wasted. It’s not that they can’t comprehend; they just aren’t listening because they aren’t the least bit interested in your answer. They just want what they want.

The request for an explanation is just a disguise. The sooner you recognize the costume, the less of a harangue you’ll have to deal with.

I have never been able to successfully negotiate with someone who has a fixed position – they want what they want.

All logic is blocked by a person acting like a blockhead.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Radio stations, by and large, take few song requests. Yes, they have request shows but that’s no guarantee you’ll get your song played. Many conversations go like this:

“Can you play ‘I Bought The Shoes That Just Walked Out On Me’ By Wynn Stewart?”

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t have that song available to play.”

“Why not?” (clue)

“It’s not a song that our boss allows us to play.”

“Why not?” (clue 2)

“It doesn’t fit our format. Our format is current popular music and that song is an old Country song that most of our listeners don’t know, and I am not allowed to play songs that are out of our format.

“Why not?” (clue that you’re in deep doo-doo)

“Like I said, I’m not allowed to play that song. It would cost me my job. Is there another song I can play for you?”

“Why do you have a request show if you don’t play requests? Play it anyway.”

The conversation goes on and on and always ends up with them taking the position – I want what I want.

How much energy do you waste by engaging with someone whose only position is – I want what I want?

“I want what I want” always communicates that I don’t care about you. It’s a blinded agenda that’s harmful to everyone in its path.

Bring to mind the young child throwing a fit in the supermarket and you’ll have a clear picture of what you look like if you advertise, “I want what I want.”

This mindset discounts everyone’s point of view but yours. You can easily tell a person with this agenda in a face to face conversation. They have glazed over eyes, while pretending to listen to your point of view and chomping at the bit to speak.

The prescription for this is one I’ve mentioned before – Shorten the storm.

Never discuss logic during a storm. How often have you seen a parent attempt to reason with a child throwing a fit? How hard were you laughing? If you want a screaming child to move from point A to point B, you could wait and let the storm run its course, a luxury most don’t have. You could reason with the child which NEVER works, or you could gently cradle the child and physically move them where you need them to go without saying a word. It dispenses with the useless logic and prevents the storm from doing any more damage.

It’s not any different with a storming adult who is acting like a child. Stop explaining.

This is not a suggestion to stop exchanging ideas with someone. That conversation usually moves in a measurable direction. It’s when it becomes an “I want what I want” rant that it becomes dead in the water.

When you recognize that you’ve stepped across the threshold into the “Land of No End,” it’s time to back out. The strategy is to politely decline to continue the conversation and then say nothing. Remain silent.

There is nothing you can say that will keep this horror from ending, so don’t say anything.

Silence is the same strategy that professional negotiators use. They will tell you if you are buying a car and the sales person comes back from his manager with a counter-offer, don’t speak after the counter offer is given. The salesperson will fill up that silence and, more often than not, will drop the price even further without you debating with them.

“What if they gave a war and no one showed up?” is a winning strategy. No words, no war!

Back to our radio example . . . What would happen if you recognized the conversation was going nowhere and offered:

“Sir, I decline to talk about this further” and then said nothing.

I can tell you my experience. The person would hang up within 15 seconds and go regale someone else with their one-way agenda.

Silence is your friend. Not only can you successfully use it in negotiations, you can employ it to deliver less stressful moments when dealing with the “I want what I want” crowd.

Shhhhhhh!

All the best,

John

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March 12, 2009

Jimmy Time

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:33 am

I was between flights at the Atlanta airport a few years ago and decided to get my shoes shined. I walked into the enclosed shoeshine area and took a seat. There were four chairs but only one person on duty shining shoes. The man said I would be next as soon as he finished with his current customer.

A moment later, in walks this “busy and important” person and announces that he has a Noon appointment. It was a couple of minutes before Noon. The fellow on duty asked who he made the appointment with. He gruffly replied, “Jimmy.”

The fellow shining shoes said, “Jimmy not here.”

The man launched into a frenetic speech about how he specifically made a Noon appointment and wondered how can businesses run properly if they don’t honor appointments. This went on non-stop for about a minute and a half. He then asked, “Where’s Jimmy?”

Again, the gent said, “Jimmy not here.”

The man with his feathers ruffled insistently asked, “Where could he be?”

The guy shining shoes said, “Jimmy comes and goes as he pleases. He rents this space and shows up when he shows up.” He finished up with a phrase that lives on in infamy, at least in my house. He said, “Jimmy, he on Jimmy time.”

The man walked out in a huff and I reached for my journal to preserve this moment.

I told my son the story when I got home and we had a good laugh, and then my son came up with a new phrase he uses when he needs some time for himself. He would say, “I need some Jimmy time.”

Everyone benefits from some “Jimmy time.”

If you’re not carving out a small portion of your day for yourself, you are doing yourself and those around you a giant disservice. Even the busiest person on the planet can make a few minutes for themselves to relax and recharge. I like to think of them as “mind calming minutes.”

When you take the time to allow your mind to calm down, you begin the process of relaxing and recharging. After your “mind calming minutes,” you bring a fresher perspective back to what you were doing before you took a break, and you bring new energy. You’ll notice and so will the people you interact with.

I created my CD RELAX IN 2 MINUTES after doing my seminars in New York City. I noticed that many of the citizens of that city resembled the man at the airport. They were stuck inside of their head and it was causing havoc with their behavior and needlessly depleting their energy. I devised an easy way to get out of your head and into your body. It’s an exercise that simply gets you to focus your attention on a specific body part and then feel what’s going on in that part of your body. The CD progressively moves you though your body and the result is a more relaxed, recharged you.

The purpose of the CD is to teach you the method so you can do it on your own and have the ability to relax anytime, anywhere in 2 minutes or less. You can easily order this CD at http://johnmorganseminars.com/relax.html

You may have a method of mind calming relaxation that works for you. This blog post isn’t intended to have you purchase my CD. It’s a reminder to make time for yourself everyday and allow your thoughts to melt and fade away. It’s one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself and it only takes a few minutes out of your day.

“Hey kids, what time is it?”

“IT’S JIMMY TIME”!

All the best,

John

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March 11, 2009

The Clutch

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:37 am

There are clutch handbags, clutch performers (those who have a knack for performing their best when the stakes are high), and the physical clutch you use in a car to change gears.

The Clutch is a technique you can put in your bag, clutch or otherwise, to use when the stakes are high, so you change into a gear that gets you out of your rear.

We have been conditioned to ride around in one gear for most of our lives. Our patterns of behavior are stuck in gear. You may eventually get to where you want to go but the pace is very slow.

Enter The Clutch.

The Clutch is a combination of recognition and action – recognition of the pattern and specific steps to engage in a new gear.

Before we apply The Clutch, let’s look at some case histories where it would be helpful.

There is Casper M. who spends his whole life keeping his feet up. He wants to do otherwise, but something won’t let him put his foot down. Casper seeks counseling for his inability, and his counselor aptly points out that it takes more effort to keep your foot up than it does to put it down. Casper readily agrees with the logic but can’t seem to drop the other shoe.

Next we have Righteous Rachel. Her difficulty is she has a bagful of beliefs that she has no evidence for. She foists them on anyone within her presence and when others don’t adhere to her tenets, they become the enemy and are plain wrong. Her counselor gets her to see that the cause of her problems is she, but she keeps putting her foot down.

Left unchecked, Casper’s behavior will change at the most inopportune time. He will blow up and come down with both feet. He will appear crazed and out of character and people will judge him harshly.

Rachel, left unchecked, will continue to alienate almost everyone she comes in contact with and not be able to figure out why she winds up lonely and alone.

Enter The Clutch.

It’s elementary that you must recognize a behavior, while it’s happening, in order to have the best opportunity of outgrowing it. Let’s pretend that Casper begins to notice tightness in his stomach every time he runs into someone like Rachel. He knows that’s his conditioned signal to keep his feet up. Now that he recognizes the signal, that’s when he’s learned to depress the clutch. The clutch takes him out of the gear he was in.

It’s the shift to a new gear that is the next step.

There is an appropriate gear for appropriate circumstances. Just shifting into the next gear may be the norm, but Casper’s case calls for something other than the next gear. Casper begins to notice that when he depresses the clutch that he has many options for the next gear he selects. His job, in this case, is to select one that he doesn’t normally use and see what happens. He already knows what will happen if he selects the next gear. His tightness will continue and he’ll continue to walk through life like he’s stepping on eggshells.

The new gear will open him to speeds he’s never explored. It may be unfamiliar at first, but with a little practice, Casper gets the hang of shifting gears and putting his foot on the gas rather than the brake.

Rachel’s recognition begins when she starts to notice that the feedback she’s getting isn’t working. This is her signal to throw in the clutch. She has been oblivious to other’s feedback in the past because her focus was totally on her. With this new clutch awareness, she immediately recognizes that her normal strategy isn’t working and discovers a wide choice of gears.

She selects one that she normally doesn’t use and pays attention to the outcome. The new gear helps her remove the righteousness from her beliefs and recognize that they are only beliefs, many which she got through no fault of her own, from social, cultural and parental conditioning. This new gear gets her to engage more fully with others and leave her dysfunctional beliefs in the rearview mirror.

Here’s my driving tip: Begin to notice what gear you are in and then recognize there are other choices other than the one you normally select.

If you’re creeping along at the same speed, it may be time to throw in the clutch and select a new gear.

All the best,

John

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March 10, 2009

Culture

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:46 am

Culture has a lot to offer and so little to give.

Culture is always a reflection of what’s happening in peoples’ minds. It’s the reflection of our “Wants and Desires” Fairy on steroids.

If you gave a child everything they pointed to in the candy store, they would quickly become ill. Such is the case with too much culture.

Advertising is the mouthpiece and drug dealer of culture. It attempts to keep our wants and desires juiced up and whetted so that we convince ourselves that we can’t live without what culture offers. Sadly, culture becomes a way of life – a glitzy, cheap imitation of real life.

I have a Facebook friend that’s so caught up in culture that they wouldn’t know real life if it handed them a business card. It would be amusing to read the postings of this person if they weren’t so sad. Their life is a like a comic book filled with action galore and frustration at every turn of the corner. The continuing message they send is, “It’s out there somewhere and I’m going to find it.” The difficulty is that one empty quest turns into another. They’re not enjoying the step they’re on, they’re just using it to get to the next step, and then to the next step towards the empty promise of culture.

The Grasshopper offered a concise phrase to sum up the cultural trap.

“Going everywhere and doing nothing.”

They have confused activity with life. Because you’re running in place at 60 miles an hour doesn’t mean you’re getting somewhere.

Our current economic situation is the result of too much culture. Yes, the brilliant people who have pinpointed the causes for chaos are all accurate. They all have a piece of the puzzle that lead to the current collapse. The table beneath, which holds the puzzle, is culture gone amok.

People have been chasing rainbows that promise a pot of gold at the end. It’s always been a fairy tale but we just found out it’s not real. Who really needs a Hummer?

The American Dream is collapsing because it’s been turned into a nightmare by culture. We’ve begged, borrowed and stolen to purchase something that will never deliver – culture. We’ve maxed out.

The false promise is always this: That something out there will give you more life.

Many people are being forced to awaken from this bad dream. This is the silver lining in today’s economy – opportunity. It’s an opportunity to notice that you’ve been chasing the horizon, and an opportunity to take steps to find another route towards life. You have enough evidence now to realize the cultural highway won’t take you there.

Yesterday is not returning. Our values are changing. We are at a crossroads.

Reminds me of a story . . .

I was in the broadcasting business when AM radio was dying. We had hints of its demise but we were in denial. Then it reached the tipping point where FM became the norm and AM became the thrilling days of yesteryear. We were resisting change in something we thought was forever.

Culture is cracking and those hanging on will crumble when it falls.

The carrot of culture has been gnawed down to a stub. Real sustenance happens when we discover we can feed ourselves from the harvest that real life provides. Real life is peaceful, internal satisfaction that doesn’t need any outside agent to propel its existence.

Find that internal peace and you’ll find the missing piece that culture has been promising all these years.

All the best,

John

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March 9, 2009

The Point of Peace

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:56 am

A point is a place in space. Think of planet Earth as a point in a vast universe.

Now think of another round object – a circle. Some ancient math wizard determined that a circle has 360 degrees. Using a circle to represent all of space, we camp out on a specific arc of that circle, at a certain degree number, and that represents our point of view.

We don’t realize that we can adopt any point on the circle, at any time, to change our angle of view.

The reason we don’t change angles that often is because the one we’re on has become comfortable. We, in effect, get stuck there.

When we encounter others stuck on a different point than ours, we have a difference of opinion.

Notice how a difference of opinion escalates into judgements about the people viewing life from a different angle than ours.

That difference of opinion generates more opinions. This has us dealing with the layers of opinions about the person, rather than with the person themselves.

These judgements are comparative in nature. You compare them to you or to your ideal. They are viewed as “less than” which makes you or your cause “more than.” This adds kerosene to an already hot fire. They do the same thing.

The story of the general on the hill best illustrates how a broader view can save the day. The soldier at his point on the battlefield can only see what’s right in close view. His only mission is to battle for that point. He doesn’t have the vantage point of the general who can see the entire field and can call for a retreat to consider other points.

No one likes a protracted war, not even trained soldiers or wizened generals. They, like you, want to find a way to peace with people who are taking up other points.

Here’s a starting point offered by The Grasshopper:

“Not less than . . . Not more than . . . Same as.”

This is the point of peace.

When we start to feel judgements creeping in, that’s the time to remind ourselves that others are not less than us, more than us, but simply the same as us. Our sameness is disguised by the layers of opinions that we’ve built up defending our particular arc of the circle.

“Not less than . . . Not more than . . . Same as” is an approach that opens us to explore more of the circle and see different angles of view. This makes us whole. Whole in relation to another is “Same as.”

It’s easier to entertain another’s point of view when we become them – “Same as.”

The truth is we are them, only our coverings are different.

This “Same as” approach doesn’t mean differences won’t continue to crop up. They will.

“Same as” gives you the greatest opportunity to explore a solution from the common ground known as the point of peace. More can be accomplished from this vantage point than can ever be seen while on the battlefield.

This is a view you’ll want to practice during times of peace so it becomes second nature during periods of war.

I’m not asking you to believe this approach works. I’m requesting that you test drive it and see if it can take you to the top of the hill.

All the best,

John

P.S. Beginning today, you can have my weekday blogs automatically E-mailed to you. Just enter your email address to the right of my blogpost and click the SUBSCRIBE button. It’s that simple.

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March 6, 2009

Pursuit

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:17 am

What’s your dream?

It’s a question worth pondering.

Many have stopped dreaming because they are convinced they’ll never get what they were dreaming about. There is a lot of truth in that conviction. You may never get what you’re dreaming about, but when you stop dreaming you stop your life.

Dreams are the incentive that keeps life pouring through you. You allow life to dam up in a stale pond when you leave the dream behind.

The Grasshopper prompted this blog yesterday when he piped up out of the blue and said:

“Having a dream is as important as achieving a dream.”

It instantly made sense.

Life is really all about the individual steps and has little to do with the planned outcome.

Life flows when we have a pursuit. It stagnates when we stop taking steps.

There are those who abuse their dreaming power and entertain so many, that the sheer number paralyzes them not to pursue any of them. They’re caught in the cultural land of “nice to have.”

“Nice to have” has little passion behind it and will have you start and fizzle each time. That’s not dreaming; that’s wishing.

Dreaming has juice behind it. It’s something that you really desire. It’s something worth pursuing because it’s the pursuit that keeps life’s juices flowing.

There is an aliveness in Wile E. Coyote. His dream is to catch the Road Runner. The chances of that happening are nonexistent, but it doesn’t prevent him from reveling in each step he takes while pursuing that dream.

It may dawn on you one day that a particular dream no longer makes sense for you and decide to set it aside. That’s prudent assessment that helps you streamline your pursuits. It’s when you decide to stop riding altogether that it’s most appropriate to saddle up again. Reminds me of a story . . .

When I was a teenager there was an older guy named Bernie who came to the community swimming pool one day. He was a trick diver – a stuntman on a diving board. He did all sorts of pratfalls and choreographed slips, and he was quite entertaining and talented.

He was giving some of us younger guys tips on our dives. He was coaching me on doing a back flip, a dive I had desired to do but never attempted. I did do the flip but hit my head on the board. It was a minor graze but it scared the heck out of me. I had no interest in ever attempting a back flip again.

Thank God for Bernie. He got up on the diving board and explained to me, and then showed me why my mishap happened. He replicated my dive including the slight graze on the board. He then got me up on the board with new instructions to do it again. I did fine. My back flip dream came true.

You may or may not achieve your dream, but when you give up the pursuit, you deaden your life.

Here’s my suggestion. Dust off an old dream you’ve stored away and start stepping towards it. You may or may not get there, but the pursuit of it keeps life flowing. It’s a much better feeling than being frozen with fear that you may never reach your dreams.

All the best,

John

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March 5, 2009

Your Gift

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:18 am

What’s your unique gift?

What is that you do just about better than anyone you know?

Don’t be modest. You know that you have something that comes to you so easily, to the point that it causes many people to notice or comment. That’s your gift.

The Grasshopper describes it this way:

“Gift: Something you didn’t work at.”

Did you ever notice that your gift comes to you naturally?

You see things other people don’t see, you hear things other people don’t hear, and you sense things that others don’t feel. That’s a gift.

There are skills that you consciously build that may make you gifted, but that’s not your gift. Let’s pretend that you are a world class wine taster. You can easily identify the oak cask from which the specific tannins you taste came from. That’s a talent but not your gift. You had to work at that.

What present were you handed that you’re not taking full advantage of? This discovery often leads people to the second career or avocation that recharges their engine.

How many people do you know who are good at what they do but don’t like what they are doing? You don’t have to raise your hand, you’re in the majority. Reminds me of a story . . .

I had a gifted friend who went to art school and excelled. Upon graduation, he was offered a job by Hallmark in New York City as an artist. Quite the gig. Six months later he came back home and announced he had quit his plum job. Everyone wanted to know why. He summed it up this way, “I got tired of drawing fuzzy bunnies.” In this case, his gift was misapplied. He discovered that he liked the connection he made with people during live drawing sessions and has had a stellar, rewarding career as a portrait artist.

He could draw without effort well before anyone showed him how. It was his gift. Reminds me of another story . . .

I had another friend who could play any musical instrument soon after picking it up. He could pick out a tune on a washboard. He had perfect pitch and was an incredible play by ear musician. He honed his music reading skills by additional study, but he was gifted well before he knew what an instrument or an F# was. The sad part of this story is he drowned his gift. To say he is a hopeless drunk would be a compliment. He didn’t capitalize on his gift. To hear him tell it, it was his parents’ fault that he never succeeded to the heights that matched his skill level. He wasted his gift.

Are you keeping your gift under wraps?

How can you best use your gift?

These are questions to take with you into your quiet time. There is something that is a perfect match for your gift. Engage your curiosity and start the process of finding that form fitting glove.

The process begins by noticing you have a gift. We all do. You may have been hiding it under a rock or downplaying its value, but it’s there.

Next, ask yourself, “What is the purpose of my gift?” You will get answers. You just have to be open to letting them come through.

Finally, it’s time to put your gift on display. You can start slowly until you get more comfortable showing your stuff, but show it you must.

If modesty or fear gets in the way, remember this confidence boosting phrase: “You were given this gift for a reason.”

If you are already using your gift, you can hear my applause in the background.

If you haven’t found your gift, get off your duff and start looking. It’s in plain view for anyone who makes the effort.

This gift doesn’t belong to anyone but you, and only you can use to its best advantage.

When you show the world your gift, you’ll truly appreciate the phrase: “The gift that keeps on giving.”

All the best,

John

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March 4, 2009

Holding the Bag

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 10:20 am

Did you ever play musical chairs? As you may remember, there is always one less chair than the number of people playing the game. The objective is to walk around the chairs in a circle until the music stops, and when that happens, you are to scramble to sit down in one of the open seats. There is always one person left out.

That’s called “Holding the bag.”

The feelings of isolation set in when you realize there’s not a spot for you. It happens in the game of life as well.

One of the saddest songs ever written is: “Who Can I Turn To?” (see lyrics here)

One of the saddest lines is, “But who can I turn to if you turn away?”

We have all been left holding that emotional bag, whether through death, divorce, deceit, denunciation and other words that don’t begin with “D.”

The coping strategies we use when left holding the bag usually don’t work. Here are a few of the more popular ones:

“Time heals all wounds.”

“It’s really not that bad.”

“There are other fish in the sea.”

“You need a hobby.”

One that does work is one that I would have never imagined – Feeling sorry for yourself.

I’m not referring to getting locked into a “poor me” conversation in your head, or ad nauseam story telling about your dreadful situation. That’s just putting more s**t in the bag you are holding.

The operative word is “feeling.”

Can you imagine living next door to someone for 30 years and never saying, “Hello”? That’s how many people treat their feelings. It’s as though they are not there.

Men have a tendency to talk over their feelings and women tend to talk about them, but relatively few people, men or women, explore their feelings in the only place they can sense them – in their body.

Your body is the only place you can feel a feeling.

There is a feeling that goes along with bag holding. You can pretend it’s not there, talk about it in therapy for years, endure the pain because you’ve become accustomed to it OR you can feel the feeling.

We are so accustomed to running away from our feelings that staying with them seems so foreign a strategy. May I remind you that a foreign film won the Oscar this year.

When we refuse to feel our feelings, we turn a thunderstorm into a lifetime of rain. Thunderstorms pass quickly and so do feelings when we feel them. When we ignore, deny, or run away from them, the storm cloud follows us wherever we go.

I encourage you to read this week’s Grasshopper Note for a strategy to meet your emotions.

There is a sensation in your body that corresponds to the label you carry around in your head for holding the bag. Locate that sensation and stay with it – feel it. It may take a minute or it may take an hour to fully feel that sensation. And you may have to do it several times to get the hang of it. You will notice a difference. The result? Your bag either becomes lighter, you drop it, or you find a chair to sit in before the music stops.

Real change will come when you decide to feel those feelings. That’s when you find out the real truth of your situation – your bag was holding you.

All the best,

John

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March 3, 2009

ClosetheGap

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 10:14 am

There is only one gap worth keeping – the gap between your thoughts. All other human gaps are designed to be closed.

When there is a gap between you and something, that something remains elusive. It seems the closer you get to it, the more it moves the same distance away. Reminds me of my childhood . . .

Back then a common sight was Scottie dog magnets. I’m sure they came in different breeds but I only remember Scotties. When you brought these magnets closer together, a magnetic field formed between them and they repelled each other. The closer one dog’s nose got to the other’s, the further the second dog would move backwards. The gap remained the same. If you forced them together, you could get them to touch, but they immediately separated once you removed the pressure.

Forcing connections is not closing the gap. That’s the proverbial “you ought to meet my cousin” scenario, which NEVER works.

The gap between you and the something you desire remains in place because of resistance. It’s easy to say the resistance is provided by the other, but if you check real closely, it’s coming from you. You generate the resistance and the something you desire mirrors it back to you.

The resistance is formed when you consciously plan a strategy for closing the gap. The resistance is created in your mind, as is the gap. There is no real gap between you and anything. Everything is connected, except in your mind. When your mind perceives a gap between you and something, you create the resistance that keeps the illusion of the gap alive.

The connection to all is invisible, but it still exists. A laptop computer’s connection to the internet is invisible, but it still exists. The only time the connection doesn’t appear to exist is when we turn it off. It’s always available.

The way to make more connections with people and things is to know the connection already exists. This method is hard to grasp because of all the resistance we create by consciously planning to get something that we already have.

There are methods that would have you specifically envision what you want as already in your possession as the way to close the gap. It’s a very popular methodology that has an unreported high rate of failure. My sense is the low rate of fruition is due to envisioning the connection to something specific. The more specific you desire the connection to be, the more it seems to move away.

Focusing on the connection to everything keeps connection turned on. I encourage you to use your quiet time to focus on connection. Leave the specifics out of it, just focus on the feeling of connection. This is a meditation of inclusion. When you get too specific, you are making an attempt to mold reality to your conscious plan – a plan that keeps resistance alive and excludes most of the playing field. This has less success than hitting it off with the cousin.

When you include everything, your connections increase exponentially. When you exclude, you keep the perceived gap alive and stay disconnected.

Want what you want. Make your lists, daydream until your heart is content, but when it comes time to quiet your mind, make your mantra “Connection.”

It’s the difference between having access to the local Dollar Store or the entire internet.

Close the gap that doesn’t exist by focusing on connection. This is a process, and like any process it takes effort and repetition to get results. When you focus on connection to everything, prepare for welcome surprises that would have never shown up if you stayed focused on specifics.

Connection creates flow; specifics produce resistance.

Close the gap by getting connected.

All the best,

John