The Fork
You can’t see it on the horizon, so I’m asking you to take it on faith that it’s there. If you’ve already experienced it, you know I’m not making this up. If you haven’t experienced it yet, this warning sign may seem like it’s for someone else, certainly not you.
You will approach this fork in your life. The easiest way to know you are there is the attitude you have when you approach it. The telltale sign you are at the fork is finding yourself constantly asking the question: “Is this all there is?”
There aren’t road signs telling you where each fork goes, but you will head down one of these roads. Since I’ve been down both, I will label the destinations for you – Superficial and Substance.
It’s my experience that people rarely make Substance their first choice; it certainly wasn’t mine. It’s the road less travelled. Superficial is the one we most often pick. It’s like the main drag into Vegas – glitz everywhere you look. It looks like the Promised Land, but the road to Superficial is littered with broken promises.
The road to Superficial leads away from reward, or more accurately stated, away from a rewarding existence. It certainly looks like it will fulfill all our hopes and dreams, but at the risk of sounding sarcastic, “Dream on.”
Superficial simply put is: “The search out there.” It’s where the horizon lures you to, yet, one more grab for gusto and, again, you come up with a handful of air.
It’s really not our fault that we willingly travel this road. We’ve been conditioned to do so our entire lives. You can’t live in our culture and not be affected by the ever present promise that what you need is “out there.”
Sadly, it may take many crashes on the road to Superficial to convince you that you’re in a never ending bumper car race – a loop to nowhere.
It takes a lot of courage to say the following: “Stop the ride; I want to get off!” Your whole world view is at risk and you have to face the fact that you’ve been chasing your tailpipe.
Recognition that you are stuck on the road to Superficial is the first step to opening your eyes to the exit ramp for Substance.
The road signs for substance will lead you back home – “in here.”
“Out there” is filled with tasty treats and trinkets but lacks the substance you can only find “in here.”
You may not know you are stuck on Superficial Highway, so let me offer you this landmark: You’re there if, at the end of each day, you find that you’re still lost. Being lost takes many forms – Depression, drugs, detachment, divorce, denial, drowning your doldrums and many other things that don’t begin with the letter “D.”
When you end the search for superficial, substance finds you. You no longer attempt to fill a hole in your soul, but rather find out you were whole all along.
Substance feels better than superficial. It makes you comfortable in your own skin, and keeps you from continually skinning your shins to feel alive.
It’s not my intention for you not to choose Superficial, because the chances are good that you will. My request is that you keep this post in your glove compartment and use it as a roadmap where you get tired of being lost.
All the best,
John
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