This may not be the truth but it sure feels like it – Life’s biggest myth is control.

Based on my experience, it’s usually a bigger myth for men than it is for women but control is not opposed to equal opportunity.

What is it we’re trying to control? – That which is.

Once we get a glimpse that we are attempting to control the totality of reality, it would be useful to just stop and have a big belly laugh, but we rarely laugh at our folly but rather push on to control the next uncontrollable moment.

Here’s a warning sign that you’re steeped deep in control: You hate being told what to do. That’s a result of the amount of polarity you have left over from childhood and the belief that you don’t have to answer to anybody.

Reminds me of a story I may have told before . . .

My late teacher, Dr. Dave Dobson had us do an exercise where we would imagine ourselves in a situation where we were being told what to do and rebelling at the notion. Once we felt that rebellion get to its peak, we were to look down into the palms of our hands and laugh aloud.

This was a pattern interrupt. We were noticing that we were running the “I can’t be told what to do” pattern and interrupting it by laughing aloud.

The consensual truth is that there will always be people who can tell you what to do, no matter if you are the President of the United States or the richest person on the planet.

Reminds me of another story . . . when I did a radio talk show many years ago, we had a caller named “Larry.” Larry was a regular caller and his issue was that income tax was illegal. He made all the cogent arguments for his position that are still being made today, but what Larry failed to grasp was the grasp that his rail against reality had on his happiness and health.

Larry was angry, perpetually angry. He had heart problems that he never recognized that he contributed to by his approach to the reality of taxation. This is not an argument for or against Larry’s position; it’s more of a warning sign to recognize what your behavior is doing to you.

Larry’s fight wasn’t with the government; it was with his opposition to being told what to do. The government was just an easy foil to continue believing in the myth that he had control. If illegal taxation wasn’t his issue, it would have been something else he would have pursued to prove he had control.

Please don’t construe this to mean not to take action against oppression – it’s more of a reminder to not let your mission destroy your mental well being and your health. I think of the distraught soul who set his house on fire and flew his plane into the IRS offices in Texas. He believed dying was the only way of taking control. His belief cost him his life and he took innocent lives with him.

Reminds me of another story . . .

Again, many years ago I took on the topic of the slogan for the state of New Hampshire – “Live Free or Die.” That is one of the most controlling statements that has ever been written. In essence, it says, “If I can’t control the situation, I choose to die.” Where is the consideration for staying alive and attempting to figure out another way to be free? That takes too much patience for someone who believes in control.

I have no issue with peoples’ passion against things they don’t like. My point is the control you seek doesn’t exist. That doesn’t mean your actions towards a solution are misguided or won’t work; it only means that if you believe in control, you will suffer.

Suffering is always the result of attempting to control reality. You would do yourself and any cause you may have a giant favor, by taking a moment to laugh at your absurd attempt to control reality, and then regroup with another focus that isn’t bent on control. You’ll live longer and accomplish more.

All the best,

John

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