Here is the obvious piece of wisdom we overlook on our way to failing to do something – We must start before we stop.

The opposite is the norm – We stop before we start.

Failure’s biggest contributor is inertia. We don’t start on a path because we’ve already judged in our head that we will fail.

But here’s the rub . . . it’s really not the act of failing that scares us; it’s the perception of how we’ll be viewed if we aren’t successful. It’s that view that prevents us from starting. Again, we stop before we start.

The fear of failure boils down to this: It’s the fear of what other people will think.

Let’s pretend you are a lousy bowler. You went once or twice when you were a kid and now you are in mixed company as an adult and find yourself at a bowling alley.

Your first ball is a gutter ball; you miss everything. The same is true of your second. You now announce that you don’t want to play anymore and you’ll just watch the others. Why did you stop?

If no one else was there and you had the bowling alley all to yourself, you probably would have continued rolling balls down the lane until you saw some improvement. No fear of failure because there was no one there to witness it.

There’s no secret as to why golfers perform much better on the driving range than they do on the course – lack of witnesses.

The amount of things we don’t attempt due to other peoples’ opinions is staggering.

Why doesn’t the shy kid ask the girl to dance? It’s not so much that she’ll say “No,” it’s more about others witnessing his unsuccessful request that keeps his action at parade rest.

What’s really at risk? Your image – the thing that you made up and got comfortable with. It’s the perceived tarnishing of the imaginary vision you hold about yourself that prevents you from starting.

Failing is an everyday occurrence in everyone’s life. We have lots of experience with it, so we’re not really afraid of it.

The fear of people finding out that we aren’t who we think we are is what stops us from starting.

The people who find out that they aren’t the image that they’ve been trying to protect are the ones who start with much more regularity. And here’s the math: Those who start succeed more than those who don’t.

So here’s a thought starting question for the weekend: What would you start if you let go of your imaginary image?

The answer you’ll get is this: There’s no stopping me now.

All the best,

John

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