Did your dog, cat or turtle do something you didn’t like? I suppose you could call that a pet peeve.

Here’s a Facebook type question for you: What are your top 5 pet peeves? Go ahead and quickly list them right now. Let’s do it together. Here are mine:

1. People complaining with no interest in a solution.
2. Someone stepping on the back of my flip-flop.
3. Not doing what you say you are going to do.
4. Not answering a direct question.
5. People looking for a pocketful of fairy dust.

Now let’s take a moment and look over our list. If you’re anything like me, many, if not all, of your pet peeves are with other people. Did you notice that hardly any, or none of them, are about you?

So I look at my first pet peeve and ask myself this question: “How likely is my peeve about someone else likely to change them?” “Highly unlikely” is my answer. OMG, I’m complaining without a solution. That puts me in with all the complainers at the top of my list.

The discovery for me is that we don’t have pet peeves for ourselves – a list of annoying things we do that we never go to work on.

So, here’s my solution: Make a list of pet peeves about yourself and begin to address them.

Here’s a little hint: Your list about other people may contain more than a few that are about you. It’s called “Projection.”

There is a very high probability that what you dislike about another mirrors a part of you that you highly dislike.

Notice how quickly and passionately you say, “I’m not like that!” You may not be, but you’ll never know until you explore the possibility that your complaint may reflect a part of you that you keep hidden, even from yourself.

It’s a worthwhile adventure to turn the spotlight on ourselves from time to time and see what others witness us deny.

You’re probably familiar with the mantra, “What you can conceive and believe you can achieve.” You may not know this one yet: “Whenever you don’t recognize your own pet peeve, you aggrieve and deceive.”

Anybody want to walk the dog?

All the best,

John

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