Many years ago I heard my teacher, Dr. Dave Dobson say, “We live our life by reference.” What he meant by that was the action had already taken place by the time it registered in our conscious mind as a thought. His phrase, “Words are the caboose on the choo-choo of life” capsulizes his observation.

His further point was that you aren’t consciously living in the present moment, but a half a step behind it.

What he didn’t say, but is easy to imply, is that our feeling sense always lives in the present moment. We reference off our feelings.

As a left-brain society, we pride ourselves on making sound, intellectual choices. Which word do you like better, “Hogwash” or “Bulldinkie?”

Our feeling sense always decides before the message makes it to the front lines.

We are sensate creatures who deny that our feelings rule our decisions, whether we are a street sweeper in a one horse town or a Supreme Court Justice.

The illusion that we consciously choose can be witnessed any day of the week when you hear yourself or someone say, “All things happen for a reason.” When you apply a little logic to that phrase, it wilts in the light of day. The way we are wired proves the opposite – All things happen and then we apply a reason.

We live our conscious life by reference.

So how do we get closer to the moment rather than being a step slow? – Become aware of your feelings.

We have been conditioned to chase our feelings away by talking over top of them. We figure if we talk long and loud enough, we can drown our feelings out, especially the ones we don’t like. No amount of logic will make a feeling go away.

Since your feelings are deciding your life, it makes sense to get to know them much better, so we can truly know why we do what we do or what we decide.

Feelings of inadequacy often spawn spendthrifts. Just listen to the “Fun House Mirror” logic of someone living way past their means and you’ll have a finer appreciation of how they feel about themselves.

The person who constantly cites circumstance as the roadblock in their life is divorced from their feelings. The reason they can’t move forward is because of reasoning. Never have they made an effort to get closer to “Decision Central” (their feelings) and feel that sensation which is the underlying cause that blocks any progress.

Feelings are meant to be felt at the time you are feeling them, which is always now, not a half a minute from now when you rationalize them away.

When you make time for your feelings and let them express themselves, you’ll find that the ones that are standing in your way seem to melt and fade away without any conscious coaxing.

When your life is filled with excuses, you are living your life by reference. The remedy is to step into the current moment and feel your feelings. Not only is it cathartic, it also allows you to feel life as it happens, not through the prism of illusion.

The interesting thing is that you won’t find this important discovery in a reference book, only in your body.

All the best,

John

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