Green Grass
The Grasshopper had this to say last night “The grass is the same on the other side of the fence.” It just looks greener from our vantage point.
Therefore, the real question is. How do we fence ourselves in, in order to cause this illusion in the first place? Lack of honesty comes to mind. Sometimes we are hesitant to express our dreams because they don’t fit within the dreamscape of another we happen to have a relationship with. The faulty thinking is that you cannot pursue different dreams than the one who is close to you and still have a bond.
This leads to harboring resentment towards another and looking at them as the reason you cannot move forward. That’s fence building which colors the whole relationship and makes all things on the other side seem that more attractive.
Yes, there may be high volume discussions of how opposed another is to your dream because it doesn’t coincide with theirs. The fence building begins when the fence builder assesses that their partner has more than an equal voice in the discussion. They view it as a power struggle instead of a partnership. Oftentimes, one partner puts down their foot and says “that’s that!” No, in a partnership, “that’s that!” is only when both agree. The fence builder feels like they have less say in the relationship and often acquiesces on the surface to the edicts of the partner while they form the blueprint of the other side of the fence in their mind.
The oppositional goals may be enough of an issue that you have to move on, but that is often a premature strategy that lacks choice. You deny yourself the option of staying because you lack the courage to express yourself honestly and claim your equality. The conundrum is that you have to muster up more courage to move on than you are willing to expend on saving a relationship.
Unequal relationships fall apart. Cultural conditioning may be the culprit but honesty is the answer. If you haven’t afforded your partner honesty, chances are you will remain in an unbalanced relationship or be tempted to mow someone else’s lawn.
Some people need professional guidance to discover the necessity of equality and honesty in a partnership. They are encouraged to seek it. Yet, many can find out what side of the fence they belong on by simply finding the courage to be honest.
All the best,
John
http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan
http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301
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