Dilution
Webster tells us that “Dilute” means to thin or reduce the concentration of.
Back in January of 2005, The Grasshopper had this to say: “Water down your thoughts with the attention you give and you will feel the peace.“
There is a dual benefit to giving attention to another.
- You make an instant connection with the other person by not being in your head. They can feel your attentive presence.
- You feel the peace that comes without having thoughts fight for space in your head.
I discovered this phenomenon one night in Seattle. I was having a conversation with a friend’s son and noticed that I was going into my head and having commentary on what he was saying. I also noticed that I was not connecting with this young man. I immediately threw the clutch in and gave all my attention to what he was saying without having an internal rebuttal. The results were instant and astonishing.
I could actually feel the connection of the communication and the sense of peace that went along with it. I saw this young man’s attention come back to me in quick order and I offered him some direction that would have never surfaced if I didn’t dilute my thoughts. It was a breakthrough for both of us.
It’s the ultimate communications Win-Win.
Discipline yourself to stay out of your head when communicating with another and you will get surprising and productive results. You’ll never get this advice from the debating team coach. Debating is a strategy taught to win a war; communication is a framework to find the peace.
When you find yourself forming rebuttal arguments in your head while another is speaking, you are missing an opportunity to find the common ground that leads to peace. Give your full attention to another when communicating and notice what happens. By focusing your attention on them, you free space in your mind for something original to pop in – not the same old response that didn’t work before.
You may want to begin this practice in low risk situations like with conversations in the deli line. Then when you notice that the communication becomes richer, you can employ this attention giving practice in more and more situations.
There is always a benefit to watering down your thoughts and one of the best ways to do it is to give undiluted attention.
All the best,
John
http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan
http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301
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