GrasshopperNotes.com - Thoughts for inspired living


February 20, 2013

Assume It’s There

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:30 am

C542645 mThe following is a practical and theoretical suggestion: Assume it’s there.

How often have you been on the telephone with customer service about a product you bought that’s not functioning? The customer service rep attempts to walk you through some steps and mentions a specific thing to do but you say something like, “I don’t see that lever” or “I don’t see the menu item you’re telling me to click on on my computer screen.” Then after a lot of back and forth, you say something like, “Oh, I see it now.”

Less time would be wasted if you assumed it was there. Instead, we assume it’s not there and have a much harder time getting what we want. The everyday example is: “I lost my keys.” That’s emblematic of assuming they’re not there.

Years ago, I learned a trick from Tony Robbins for finding your keys. His assumption was that you produced a blind spot for whatever you were looking for when you gave voice to them being lost. His suggestion was to say the following phrase over and over again while searching for your keys: “I’m finding my keys, I’m finding my keys.” His suggestion has proven quite helpful over the years and it’s another way of saying, “Assume it’s there.”

Assume has gotten a bad rap over the years from the “you, me and donkey crowd.” Assume serves a valuable purpose when looking for internal resources to solve your problems.

When facing a problematic situation in life, we often go into defeatist mode because we can’t see the answer. We’ve all been there, many times; just like we’ve all set down our keys in a place we didn’t remember.

It’s my assumption and assertion, based on personal experience, that assuming there is a part of you that knows the answer, produces an answer quicker than a non-stop litany of “woe is me.”

Assume it’s there!

By assuming that you’ll find an answer, removes many of the self-imposed roadblocks that stand in the way of you finding a solution. It’s a shortcut to problem solving that saves you from lots of angst. This is more than sitting around and thinking positive. It’s an action that you take that removes layers of resistance in finding an answer.

I encourage you to add “Assume it’s there” to your problem solving kit. It just may be the key you’re looking for.

All the best,

John

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February 19, 2013

Not Being Me

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:59 am

C164155 mThe Grasshopper gave me a gift yesterday when he said, “Your best ideas come through when you’re not being you.”

Being me is complex – just like you being you is.

Me, along with a lot of good stuff, is filled with faults, shortcomings and patterns that I have no idea that I’m running, and some of them oftentimes run me into the ground. That’s the price we pay for remaining unaware.

The Grasshopper made me aware that my best ideas come when “me” is suspended. It was a reminder that if I want more gifts, I have to get me out of the way more often.

The problem is that me is so ingrained in our existence that it’s hard for us to believe that we’re not the me that we made up and got comfortable with.

“That’s just the way I am” is the most naked, unjustified defense that we use to defend me being me. The you that you’ve grown accustomed to (your patterns) may allow you to function in the world, but these conditioned responses are not where your best stuff comes from.

That statement alone should get you curious enough to get the you that’s not you out of the way long enough to let the flow of the best you have to offer to come through.

Your worst ideas come from you; your best ideas come through you. Read that sentence again.

When you begin to own this idea, you’ll become more aware of what’s not working in your best interest (your patterns), and you’ll look for ways to move them out of the way so the best you comes through.

To put your best foot forward, consider wearing the shoe that’s not you.

All the best,

John

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February 15, 2013

Drill Sergeant

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 5:26 am

C347634 mYou don’t need a military background to have experience with a drill sergeant. All you have to do is pay attention to your mind soon after awakening and you’ll hear yours barking out orders.

It’s not something I ever put into context until early this morning when I awoke. There I was coming through the reverie of the space between asleep and awake and all of a sudden my drill sergeant was banging a trash can in my head.

“You have to call so and so and get that straightened out,” “You’ve got to get to the grocery store,” “Today is trash day,” “You can’t go out until the UPS guy delivers the package you have to sign for,” “Fix that mailbox that the snow plow wiped out” were just a few of the orders I got within the first minute of waking up.

Then I noticed the noise. It would have gone on unchecked, for who knows how long, had I not noticed my drill sergeant preparing me for war as he was disturbing my peace.

Not only were there orders, there were strategies being formulated and specific tactics being explored to carry them out. No time for stretching; just instant marching orders.

What an awful experience it was until I noticed. I noticed that my mind had gone amok and was about to suck me into its muck. Just by noticing, the noise began to abate and my mind got a bit more sedate.

I realized there was no sense in arguing with the drill sergeant; that would only put him in my face even more. But just by noticing he was there with his laundry list of commands, allowed me to go back to the peaceful space that had been disturbed.

Don’t take my word for it. The next time you awaken, see how long it takes for your drill sergeant to kick in and start kicking your butt. Then instead of engaging with him, just notice him and notice what happens. That barracks inside your brain will get less noisy and you can more calmly begin your day, rather than being thrown immediately into the chaotic fray.

After a few mornings of practice to get this technique down, you’ll be amused at your drill sergeant’s antics rather than allowing him to make you frown.

You won’t find this next observation in Sun Tzu‘s “The Art of War” but maybe you can add it: Noticing is a time honored, proven strategy to kick your sergeant out of boot camp.

All the best,

John

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February 13, 2013

Deserve = Desire

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:52 am

C542710 mAbout 5 years ago I wrote about the absurdity of the word “Deserve.” You can read it here.

Whether you choose to read that piece or not, it’s not a necessary foundation to get the helpful practice I’m about to present.

I’m suggesting that you substitute the word “Desire” anytime you catch yourself saying, “Deserve.”

“I deserve (fill in the blank)” immediately translates to “I desire (fill in the blank).”

You don’t deserve anything; you desire a lot.

Deserve is a made up concept that has no basis in reality. Desire is something tangible that you can feel. Deserve is something you will talk about ad nauseum. Desire may produce enough passion to actually do something to get what you think you deserve.

“I deserve more happiness” is a wish. “I desire more happiness” is a first step.

“Deserve” will keep you in the land of thought and out of the realm of reality where desires can actually happen.

Believing in “Deserve’ is like believing in the Tooth Fairy. The only difference is that the Tooth Fairy leaves money. Deserve leaves you waiting in limbo.

Give it a go and substitute “Desire” for “Deserve.” It’ll get you out from behind the eight ball and put you ahead of the curve.

All the best,

John

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February 12, 2013

Orbits

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 9:52 am

C561733 mFrom out of the blue, I was struck with the word “Orbits” yesterday. It stuck with me and kept coming back into my mind throughout the course of the day until I wrote it down and let it simmer.

I looked at the note on my night stand before going to bed last night and saw it again this morning when waking up. What’s up with “Orbits”?

It seems it has something to do with sphere of influence.

How does something go from your sphere of influence into another’s orbit or vice versa? My guess is it has to do with proximity and gravitational pull.

Let’s look at marriage as an example. Half of them end in divorce. Something caused the gravitational pull of one partner to weaken. If, at the same time, the other partner comes into close proximity of another orbit, the gravitational pull can cause some tension, pulling the trans-orbiting partner to and fro. Eventually, like on a balanced see-saw, the gravitational pull will take them up or down or, in this case, out or in.

I think many people misinterpret this sphere of influence and think of it as control. The underlying philosophy seems to be that I have to control my children, my spouse, my family members, my co-workers, my boss, my clients, my friends, my life, etc. Influence is not control.

Control is viewed as what I have to do TO them to keep them in orbit; Influence is what do I have to do FOR them to retain my sphere of influence?

Back to marriage for a moment . . . Has yours gotten to the “set and forget” phase? If so, your orbit is weakening and so is your influence. Who you may be taking for granted may be granting someone else’s wishes before long.

You may feel you have lost control. How can you lose something that you never had in the first place? Control is an illusion. If you don’t believe that, try and control the next thought from popping into your mind. You haven’t lost control; you’ve lost influence.

The way to recapture that gravitational pull, if it’s not already out of your orbit, is to give your attention to whatever or whomever is floating away. When we stop paying attention, our sphere of influence weakens and we’re subject to having whom or what we claim to care about drift off into space.

Your attention is the currency of communication. If you’re not spending it on the people or things in your orbit, you may soon find them moonwalking away from you.

All the best,

John

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February 11, 2013

What You Don’t Know

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:23 am

C167203 m“What you know that you don’t know cuts off your flow.” So said The Grasshopper yesterday afternoon.

It’s what we don’t know that runs the show that we call, “My life.”

Let’s look at some well known “don’t know” examples. We’ve all read stories about the poor athlete who made it big, or the pop singer who came from meager means, or the lottery winner who had nothing then “had it all.” There is a certain percentage of people who come into money and know nothing about money management. And, sadly, it’s not too long before a number of them are separated from all their money.

That’s an easy example to understand. What they didn’t know was their nemesis.

We all claim to know something. Oftentimes, we can’t prove it, but we “know” it. That’s a danger zone. This flow stopping knowing I’m speaking of is not the kind you feel in your bones, but the knowing you conjure up in your head. It’s the knowing you’ll argue about with no real wisdom coming out of your spout.

This type of knowing runs in the background. It’s conditioning long since forgotten that hasn’t forgotten about you.

Start noticing what you claim to know and here’s what you’ll notice: That you really don’t know much.

What you know puts you in hard cement which is hard to get out of, mainly because we don’t know we’re in it. We think we’re putting out hard and fast rules but rarely notice that they don’t apply to the game of life.

What do you know that you really don’t know? It takes noticing and bravery to answer that question. You’ll have to muster the courage to give up many of your arguments that you’ve defined as you. When you notice them, you’ll discover that all they have done is stick you in place. You’ll also notice that what you know stops you from learning something new. The flow of new ideas won’t come when the pipeline is jammed with knowing.

Famed psychiatrist, Carl Jung said it best many moons ago: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

What you know cuts you off from what you don’t know, and what you don’t know is running your life. Wouldn’t you like to know what makes you tick? A little noticing will do the trick.

All the best,

John

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February 8, 2013

I Shouldn’t Have To

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:49 am

C269641 mI have discovered recently that one of my oft used phrases is, “I shouldn’t have to.”

What a paralyzing utterance that is.

What I’m saying is that I have to, but shouldn’t have to. That’s a dichotomy that will keep me dithering.

In reality, we don’t “have” to do anything. It may be our best interest to do something, but we don’t have to. Perhaps a story I’ve told before would be helpful.

Many years ago I was leading a communications workshop and asked a participant, “If I hold a gun on you and threaten to shoot you if you don’t move, do you ‘have’ to move?” Her answer was, “Yes!”

The correct answer was “No.” She didn’t “have to” but it was in her best interest to do so.

“I shouldn’t have to” just gums up the process of doing what’s in your best interest.

If you notice yourself using the phrase, “I should have to” with yourself or others, it’s time for a substitution phrase to get you back in the flow.

“This isn’t my job and I shouldn’t have to do this” may be a natural expression of frustration at a situation, but if you stick with it, it will stick it to you.

Side note: I hate playing golf with people who are easily frustrated. Here’s my experience: They hit a bad shot, have their favorite curse words leave their lips and then continue on a downward spiral with a litany of follow-up, frustrated phrases. “I suck.” “With all I’m paying for lessons, I shouldn’t be hitting the ball in the woods.” “I’ll never play this course again; it’s too difficult for amateurs.” Blah, Blah, Blah. They pollute the atmosphere for everyone around them and their game suffers for the rest of the round. What would happen if they had their favorite phrase leave their lips (#@!*##) to relieve the frustration and then went on to their next shot without further diatribe? Answer: A much more pleasant round.

Substitution is one solution for “I shouldn’t have to.” When you find yourself using some form of the phrase, you can insert something like “It’s in my best interest to do this” OR “I choose to do this because it’s the best, currently available option.” Create your own substitutions that keep the accent on moving forward rather than stopping yourself dead in your tracks with “I shouldn’t have to.”

“I shouldn’t have to explain myself to this person” becomes “It’s my best interest to give them an explanation.” “I shouldn’t have to do their job” becomes “I choose to do this because it’s the only current way to get the job done.”

There’ll be plenty of time to address the things you shouldn’t have to do at a later date when the pressure is off, but when it’s on, the way to keep moving forward is leaving “I shouldn’t have to” in your rear view mirror.

All the best,

John

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February 7, 2013

The Porosity of Thought

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:13 am

C107053 mI have come to the idea that most thoughts are like brittle bones – they don’t support me that well.

They aren’t as foundational as I once “thought.”

I wanted to be an attorney when I was a kid and had I followed through on that idea, I have no doubt I would have been a good one. I could make a good argument, support it with the facts, and find the weakness in another’s argument and expose and exploit it. That skill set works wonders in a court room, not so well in life.

When you continually make strong arguments, you weaken your ability to communicate because your focus is on winning rather than connecting. You believe your words are strong but their acidic nature are insidiously making you brittle.

Nowhere is this more evident than with the unspoken arguments that play out in our head. This constant back and forth that we have going on fractures our ability to stand up and just be. We are too busy arguing to be somebody and that just won’t support us anymore.

When that internal brawl spills out onto the street and can be heard by anyone within earshot, we are now fighting with others. The more fights you make, the more bones you break.

The thoughts that are the most toxic are the ones that make you right; They can make you brittle overnight. The argument to be right is a battle you may occasionally win, but you’ll soon be a casualty of war because you’ll fall down from your own righteous weight.

Thoughts weigh you down and, over time, become porous and break, making it more difficult for you to stand up.

Lightening your load takes the pressure off. We think as though we’re getting paid by the thought. We rarely look at the paltry payday that thoughts deliver. When you unburden your mind, even for a time, you strengthen your ability to stand tall without all that yammer and bawl.

Noticing that you’re thinking too much is the first step to a quieter mind. In that instant of observation, you have broken the train of thought getting you off the track of broken bones.

There are many ways to quiet your mind and I invite you to explore them and find the way that works best for you. That way it’s not your bones cooking in that internal stew.

All the best,

John

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February 5, 2013

Whole

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:23 am

C167677 mThere is one notion that holds all human beings back. It involves a simple truth that we lie to ourselves about. It took some salty advice from The Grasshopper to make me see what’s holding back you and me.

“Let go of the half-assed idea that you’re not whole.”

Whole is a universal goal which has us go on a quest with all the rest to a place where it can’t be found – outside ourselves.

We go out there to find the plug for the hole in our soul, when there isn’t one. The hole is in our head. The fix for that wound is to let it heal by learning to feel our wholeness which is ever present and real.

Getting out of your head will get you out of limited territory and into the limitless expanse of wholeness.

Wholeness is always there but we’re barred access by the excess baggage we carry around in our mind. Let’s begin to unburden ourselves by taking The Grasshopper’s counsel and begin to let go of the one idea that we’re not whole.

That extrication starts a domino effect that leads us home to wholeness.

Letting go of that one notion shows us that our outer vision quest is like mistaking the whole wave as only its crest.

Letting go of this one idea opens the inner passageway to wholeness.

Wholeness is the sense that everything is taken care of. The main thing standing in the way of us feeling that, is thinking we are the collection of misperceptions that sits under our hat.

All the best,

John

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February 4, 2013

Wise

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 12:05 pm

C166669 mThe Grasshopper paid a weekend visit and had this to say: “Amassing knowledge doesn’t make you wise.”

I love learning new things, especially in areas I’m passionate about. I love learning a new photography tip or getting a heretofore unknown golf tip, both of which may help me improve my performance.

But all the tips in the world, whether catalogued in countless notebooks or on my Pinterest page, don’t make me wise, just informed.

I have met many people who are highly educated, some with multiple degrees, who are smart as a whip but have the wisdom of wallpaper.

There is a difference between possessing knowledge and using knowledge. The former lets you talk about things; the latter lets you do things.

Knowledge is often limited to the area it’s amassed in; wisdom knows no boundaries.

Wisdom shows up more often when knowledge is owned rather than just gathered and stored. That means that you take your new knowledge and use it until it becomes second nature, not just a tidbit in your caboodle.

When you own the knowledge, it seems to seep out at the appropriate times making it wisdom.

Wisdom is also knowing when not to offer your knowledge. You may own a similar experience to what someone else is going through, but they may not benefit hearing it from you. You are wise if you know when not to be the smartest person in the room, even if you are.

This following could almost be a quote from Shakespeare: “How quick I can sometimes be, offering wise counsel to someone who doesn’t need to hear it from me.”

Wisdom is often the residue of consistently applied knowledge. It can also show up out of the blue with nothing to reference it to, kinda’ like a blind squirrel finding an acorn.

Wisdom shows up more often when you let go of what you know and just let it come to you naturally. Wisdom is a result of mental flow, not holding in place what you know.

Final thought from personal experience: Being a know-it-all isn’t a wise move.

All the best,

John

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