I will forever be awed by the power of a story. Stories are like electricity: They can either illuminate or keep us in the dark.

Some powerful stories are legendary and, in many cases, transformative. They appear in sacred texts, works of art, memorable films, etc.

Other powerful stories are constricting and constraining. These are mostly our personal stories. The sad part about these accounts is that we don’t know the governor they have on our ability to move forward.

We can be very vocal about our stories and tell them to anyone willing to listen. But even if we’re secretive and only tell the story to ourselves, we reveal its existence to others with subconscious, subtle clues that slip out.

I will be forever grateful to author and spiritual teacher Byron Katie for the profound question she asks: “Who are you without your story?”

Our stories often serve as justifications for why we are the way we are. We are subconsciously steeped in these justifications and what we reveal to anyone willing to pay attention is that we’re not willing to give up these rationales for our behavior, and thus we live “Groundhog Day” over and over.

I often cite this absurd story to make the point: “I’m the child of verbally abusive, emotionally unavailable, rodeo clowns.” Yes, the facts of your story are not in dispute. They are building blocks for why you are the way you are.

Now, the question is: Do you want to outgrow who you were conditioned to be or stay stuck there the rest of your life? If it’s the former, STOP TELLING YOUR STORY.

If you want to stay handcuffed to your past, continue justifying why you are the way you are.

If you’re looking to move on and attract new vistas, say, “hasta la vista” to your story. Yes, it’s an accurate, historical reference and needs to be told if you choose to share your personal history with someone. But if you use it as a justification as to why you are the way you are, your history will continue to repeat itself.

Legendary, Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung gave us the prescription for outgrowing our past: Make the unconscious, conscious. What he specifically said was, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Do you really want your life to change? Then, change your story.

All the best,

John

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