I’ve heard it said that no one likes a “Know-It-All.” I don’t know if that’s a universally accepted maxim but I suspect the following Grasshopper observation is: “No one can help anyone who knows everything.”

The telltale phrases you will hear from KIAs (Know-it-alls) are: “I’ve tried that” or “That will never work.”

Let’s look closer at each phrase.

“I tried that” has failure written all over it because it almost always translates to I didn’t finish what I started. Dieters fall into this category. They think diets are temporary fixes, not ways of life and try diet after diet. This results in no long-term results.

Imagine hearing this comment (I have) . . . “Gyms don’t work.” That’s actually a very accurate statement. Gyms and health clubs don’t work. Funny thing is, people who use them do get results.

In the “That will never work category,” is this hypothetical I wrote about many years ago.

Some people abuse their power of discretion and it becomes a weapon that causes self-inflicted wounds. This is a way of saying that many people dismiss something out of hand because they judge it in their head.

I agree that if someone told you that parrot saliva was the cure for arthritis, you probably would be justified to raise an eyebrow. But if there was a long, documented history of people getting results with this method, you would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn’t investigate further, especially if you have arthritis.

So let’s pretend that you saw an ad for a product in Parade Magazine and then hobbled down to GNC and bought the product called “Pollyspittle” because you were curious. You took it home and then you chose not to use it. It seems counter-intuitive, but the reality is lots of people do that. It’s the next piece of behavior that is mind boggling and counterproductive.

You hop on your computer and dash off a nasty-gram to the manufacturer saying, “This stuff couldn’t possibly work,” and add how disappointed you are. What’s wrong with this photograph? You judged it in your head.

No one’s claiming that you are not entitled to an opinion. We all have them. But when you put the onus on someone else because your untested belief won’t allow you to take the recommended action, whose problem is that?

This type of head judging has no bearing on IQ. You could be Mensa material or dumber than a stump and still be guilty of this practice.

Know-it-alls are goalpost movers. Once you disprove their objection with factual data, they move on to another objection without acknowledging the one you just countered. This is a never ending game that leads nowhere – especially to any results.

If you like arguing, engage a Know-it-all. If you’re attempting to help them, refer them to someone else because they are incapable of learning anything new from you.

Know-it-alls say “NO” to it all. Their thinking is more solid than concrete and the only thing that changes their mind is an explosion of their belief system. It often takes a tragedy to gain their attention and that’s very sad.

“Yes” is a prescription for “No” but getting someone to take it for the prescribed time is a timeless challenge. If you recognize that you say “No” more than “Yes,” there is hope for you if you act on that recognition. Just begin to adopt the belief that to learn more, you have to know less.

All the best,

John