Do you like short or long answers? I like both depending on the content.

To the question, “Do you want to go to that new Thai restaurant?”, I prefer “yes” or “no,” not a soliloquy as to why or why not.

Yet, I prefer giving and getting longer answers when shorter answers shut the door to what is possible.

Men, particularly, have been conditioned to give instant answers, but those answers often lack substance and depth. We have been taught that we have to know, and know now! But we don’t often know, but speak anyway.

I have come to find that more substantial answers come from an evolving, solving process. By that I mean, there is some meandering down unexpected trails that is necessary for a more fulsome answer to emerge.

Please don’t confuse this with I call “Old Lady Talk.” That’s when you are a poster child for disjointed blather. “Well, we went to lunch at the mall. Oh, and I remember when malls were the place to go on dates. Which reminds me, I once dated an acrobat who had long nails . . .” and on and on it goes down endless, dead end trails. Men are just as capable as women for dishing out this cornucopia of word salad.

I find that fuller answers are a result of evolvement. It’s an exploration of possibilities that goes down many trails, each contributing to a more impactful answer. It’s my experience that an impatient person, to their detriment, will not participate in this process and answers will remain elusive for them.

You’re probably not going to get a short answer from me when your question is more than superficial. And I don’t want an answer from you that doesn’t explore your depth. Instant answers can be Googled; Substantive ones need to be fleshed out.

If you’ve ever written an essay with a specific goal in mind but in the writing of it you ended up someplace else, you have an idea of what I’m referring to as an evolved answer.

If you’re looking for instant answers to complex questions, you’ll have a grocery bag full of pithy quotes but have nothing in there to nourish your soul.

The long and short of it is this: Explore your depth more often, especially if you want real world answers.

All the best,

John