Here’s a new habit we can all aspire to in the new year: Describe actions vs. assigning labels.

“He’s a bald-faced liar” is labeling. Labels turn conversations into conflagrations.

Better to factually state what someone lied about. That’s describing their actions, not them.

I will admit that labels have more initial oomph and cut through quickly, but they also kill the opportunity to have a productive discussion.

“He’s a fat, lazy slob” is guaranteed to go nowhere. It may make you feel better, but it won’t advance anything close to a remedy. “He’s 40 pounds overweight, doesn’t exercise, and doesn’t comb his hair.” That’s factual and more actionable.

It’s more useful to mentally write a report about someone rather than label them. The report has actionable facts; the label has emotional fireworks.

Develop the habit of describing actions without adjectives and people will stop labeling you judgmental.

All the best,

John