Perhaps it’s different for you but I feel more sadness when I compare what I had to what I don’t have now. It seems like a secret formula for sadness is to revisit a moment and pretend it hasn’t passed.

This comparison can conjure up sadness in so many areas. What is “Empty Nest Syndrome” other than a comparison? How about “Feeling your age?” (I used to think faster, be prettier, have tons of energy). And let’s not forget the universal sadness producer “What if?”

Poetically: Longing for a time that doesn’t exist will have sadness persist.

There is enough sadness that comes out of the blue that we needn’t add to our sorrows by comparing old to new.

A more useful comparison to make is comparing now to now. That will give you a real time assessment of the raw material you have to work with, rather than revisiting stockpiles that have withered.

Reminds me of a story . . .

When I was beginning in the radio business as a DJ I was always looking to be upwardly mobile – bigger city, more money. I sent out more audition tapes (yes, we used tapes back then) than the next 5 radio people I knew, combined. This practice produced lots of rejection letters. The interesting thing was that I kept all the letters in a file and would go through them on a regular basis. Then one day it dawned on me that I was focusing on past rejections that had nothing to do with now. I remember tossing that file away and feeling a lightness enter my body. It focused me on what I had to offer now instead of feeling sad about who didn’t want me then.

Yes, comparison is a wonderful tool to measure your progress, but you’ll never progress past the past if you pretend the “good old days” are still here. That’s a formula for sadness that stands in the way of what you can do now.

All the best,

John