Most of us believe in the old axiom: “You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression,” so we rarely have a plan in place if we do get a second chance.

Sometimes second chances do come along but we approach them from the wrong angle and go about making the old axiom a self fulfilling prophesy.

The angle we approach from is the “Don’t” angle. We list all the things we don’t want to do with this second chance. These would be all the things we messed up the first time around. This puts the focus on “Don’t” which is a backwards strategy.

The “Do” angle has a much better chance of making your second chance more impressionable.

The question you want to ask is: “What DO I want to do with this second chance?”

“Do” is a move forward strategy. It focuses you on what you do want to do. “Don’t” drags you backwards and has you think twice about every action you take – what not to do and what to do. It’s a cumbersome strategy that scatters focus and waters down results. Reminds me of a common occurrence on the golf course . . .

Even if you don’t play golf, you’ll be able to appreciate this scenario. The last time the golfer played this particular hole he/she put the ball in the water. They now have a second chance to play this hole. Imagine what it would be like if your entire focus was on what you didn’t want to do again. Ask any golfer with that mindset where the second ball went. The one word answer is “Splash.”

Just do this exercise in your mind right now: Think of something you don’t want to do and notice the feelings it generates in your body. I get a sluggish feeling when I imagine “Don’t.” Now think of something you “Do” want to do. What feelings are attached to that? For me, I feel an energy that makes me want to act.

“Do” and “Don’t” may seem like semantics to you until you put them into action. When you do that, you’ll personally experience the feelings that go along with each approach.

When you focus on what you do want, your second impression is so strong that it makes your first one come in second.

All the best,

John