How do you know when to pay attention to something that comes from out of the blue?

Have you ever been struck with an idea that just seemed so right? You weren’t thinking about it but there was a part of your mind working on it and delivered it when you least expected. That’s what I’m describing as “out of the blue.”

The whole concept of my weekly Grasshopper Note is based on “out of the blue moments.”

It’s as though someone else, besides you, is delivering the message.

So how do you know if it’s something to act on or not?

It’s a matter of training your feeling apparatus to differentiate between “impulse” and “inspiration.”

My sense is that it feels different for everyone, but as a barometer, this is what happens with me.

When I get something unexpected, I pay attention to the feeling. If there is “excitement” attached, it’s usually an impulse. “Yeah, I should buy that high end camera that’s not in the budget.”

Inspiration usually has a warm feeling for me, not “white hot” like impulse. There isn’t any debate for me when inspiration arrives. Impulse always has me going back and forth as to whether to act or not.

Inspiration wants to be shared; impulse wants to be enjoyed.

There is a curiosity generated with inspiration; impulse wants action.

I’m thankful for both impulses and inspiration and I’m delighted that I can tell the difference.

It seems that impulse comes from conditioning, and inspiration is an unconditioned thought. They both have feeling components. That’s how to tell the difference. Find out what those feelings are for you.

There are two benefits to knowing the difference:

1. You’ll have the peace that goes along with inner knowing.
2. Your credit score will remain high.

Impulse or Inspiration? Check with your body before acting and know for sure.

All the best,

John

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I was awakened in the middle of the night by Snuffy the Black Nosed Beagle who wanted to go out and take care of business.

I groggily walked to the door and as I let him out, I looked up and saw the brightest star filled sky. The first thing that caught my eye was the Little Dipper.

After admiring its sheer beauty for a moment, it dawned on me that this was the exact same little dipper I was first introduced to as a little shaver.

My next thought was, “It’s been there before I was thought of and it will be here after I’m gone.” It’s timeless.

It got me to thinking about something truly timeless – Our animating spirit. Not only does it animate me, it’s the same energy that animated my ancestors and it’s the same energy that will animate my heirs.

Even more amazing is that it’s the energy that infuses everything. We all have something in common, no matter how many ways we attempt to prove we don’t.

We’re all driven by the same kind of fuel; we just all call it a different name. Even more interestingly, we fight over the name in the name of religion, race, national origin and a whole host of other names.

Once you label something, it loses its full essence. When we attempt to corral it into a concept, we exclude all that can’t fit within the confines of a narrow idea. Then we find people who agree with our idea and go to war with others who have a different labeling system.

It just all seems pretty silly when you’re taking in all you can drink from the Little Dipper.

All the best,

John

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As we head into the weekend, I’d like to offer you a measuring stick that will yield more precise results.

It’s an easy measurement to take. Just compare your beliefs to your results.

What you believe is irrelevant if it doesn’t deliver results. I’ve mentioned it before, and it bears repeating now, if your religion isn’t working for you, it’s time to find a new religion.

Religion, in this context, is anything you fervently believe in that just isn’t delivering results.

Because you believe in something doesn’t make it true. It just means you believe it. I’d like to change the word “true” to “useful” in the last sentence, that way we won’t argue about unsubstantiated truth. So the real question is: “Are my beliefs useful?”

Seems we rarely examine our beliefs; we just throw them out there as though they are true. They may be true to you but the question remains: “Are they useful?”

The interesting thing about beliefs is that we inherited many of them. They really belonged to someone else but became ours through social, cultural and parental conditioning. That means that oftentimes we are arguing for someone else’s limitations. It’s hard enough arguing for our own.

So it’s an easy drill. Stop and notice your beliefs when they turn up; then make an assessment if they’re getting you results.

If you need a question to ponder this weekend, may I recommend this one: “How useful are my beliefs?”

All the best,

John

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The Grasshopper visits at the oddest times. I was retiring for the evening and reading a book about photography when I heard him say this:

“You cannot not accept reality.”

It then became clear to me that the choice of acceptance is an illusion.

There is no choice. We made it up.

Reality is always accepted because there is no other real option. If you say you don’t accept something that has happened, think for a moment how crazy that is.

Acceptance is synonymous with reality. Reality doesn’t have an opposite, and neither does acceptance.

When you say you cannot accept something, you are playing a head game that has nothing to do with reality.

“I cannot accept that my daughter has married a _________.” (Fill in with your favorite prejudice)

The reality is your daughter married that person. There is nothing to accept. It happened no matter what your head tells you is “unacceptable.”

When you believe there is a choice about not accepting reality, you have fallen into a very dark hole – one that’s difficult to accept.

Don’t accept what I tell you on faith. Investigate it in your own life. What reality are you resisting? That’s called, “non-acceptance.” You are resisting that which reality has already accepted. Sorry, you weren’t consulted because you have no say whatsoever – other than to play the head game that you have a choice.

When you say you cannot accept something that has happened, you are denying reality and living an illusion.

You certainly have the choice not to like something that has happened, but that has nothing to do with acceptance. I don’t like that there are evil people in the world, but I accept it because it’s a reality.

“Unacceptable” is a report on what you don’t like, but it never has anything to do with true acceptance which is recognizing reality.

All the best,

John

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I have an expression that I have used for years. It’s “You can be on my island.”

It’s my version of “You can pack my parachute.”

Imagine that you’ve been shipwrecked and you and a group of people have washed up onto an uninhabited island. (Think Tom Hanks in “Cast Away.“)

What kind of people do you want on that island with you? Put the romantic/sexual fantasies aside for a moment and consider who you would really want there in order to survive and thrive.

Would you want a malingerer in the group? A prima donna? A complainer? A “Can’t be done-er”? My guess is they wouldn’t make the cut if you had anything to say about who would be on your island.

I bring this up for two reasons:

1. To acknowledge those who make your life more pleasurable.
2. To get curious about the people you surround yourself with.

Is there someone who goes unsung that you would deeply miss if they rowed off your island? Let them know before they go. And if they do exit your life, for whatever reason, let them know how much you appreciated them when you were together.

Alternately, is there someone draining the life force out of you and kicking up too much sand for your comfort? Build them a rowboat.

If you have a choice, and you do, wonder about those who get too much of your attention with too little return on investment. Reminds me of a story . . .

Many years ago I was attending a management workshop and the group leader asked this question: “Who do you spend more time with, the people who are winning for you or losing for you?” Sadly, most people answered, “Losing for you.”

He then went on to tell a story about the football coach, Jimmy Johnson. He cited Jimmy’s winning record in college and his two Super Bowl victories with the Dallas Cowboys. He then told us what Jimmy answered when someone asked him this question: “Coach, you have such a great winning percentage wherever you go and your players always seem to be on the same page. Is there some secret formula you use to make that happen?” Jimmy Johnson answered, “Yes, I shoot the losers.”

My friend, Ned Kraft is working on a book called “The Friendship Myth” and in one of the chapters he encourages you to “Fire your friends” – the ones who take too much of your effort.

Luau or Lunch Pail? You decide. It’s your island.

All the best,

John

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What makes one person consistently better than another person when performing a certain skill?

There are so many answers to that question that it opens the door for discussion.

Here’s my two cents worth (please adjust for inflation).

Let me begin with a story . . .

Christmas Eve day I got my annual visit from a man whose mother makes the most delicious Christmas cookies. I met him when he was 11 years old when his father brought him by a radio station I worked for and asked if he could get his son a tour. I agreed.

This young fellow was older than his years and had an appetite for radio and wanted to learn all he could. I invited him to come back each week to learn some more. I gave him an old tape of a radio performer who had inspired me and told him to listen to it and said, “Aspire to be as good as this guy.”

I eventually hired this boy who has since become a celebrated radio performer in many major cities. Back to Christmas Eve . . . we had our annual chat and caught up on what each other was up to and wished each other a “Merry Christmas.”

After he left, I got an email alerting me that the fellow who was on the tape I gave him many years ago had just died. How serendipitous . . . the man who sparked both our radio fires had died on the one day we get together.

This man’s name is George Michael. He became nationally famous doing his syndicated TV show called “George Michael’s Sports Machine.” Most TV sports fans knew of George Michael but few of them knew what a stellar radio performer he was in the 60s and 70s.

So back to the question . . . What makes one person consistently better than another person when performing a certain skill? All the ingredients I talk about in my FREE e-book, THE SUCCESS TRIANGLE, come to mind – Passion, Discipline, and Talent. But it was a subset of discipline that made the difference with George Michael. It was FOCUS!

As I said in a tribute to him, “He was like the great football players he talked about; he never took a play off.” George was focused. He didn’t have many of the talents that other radio performers had but he used what he did have and focused and became the best DJ I ever heard.

Focus will take you farther than your talent. I think of the old Cub Scout Manual technique for starting a fire without matches. Focus the sun through a magnifying glass on bits of paper under some tinder wood so you can ignite a roaring fire.

If you aspire to be better than you currently are, may I suggest George Michael’s secret formula – FOCUS!

All the best,

John

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As we turn the page on a new decade, I find it appropriate to turn back to an old expression whose wisdom is timeless – Turn of a phrase.

This idea came to mind when I caught myself “can’t-ing” the other day. It never dawned on me how often “can’t” turns up in conversation – especially mine.

NOTE: Lest you think this is leading to a positive thinking speech, let me assure you I wouldn’t waste your time or mine with such pep rally pap.

This is an exercise in noticing and substituting.

No, you won’t be asked to substitute “can” for “can’t;” you’ll be asked to practice turning a phrase.

Here’s the exercise in a nutshell: Notice yourself saying “can’t” when you’re saying it and then rephrase the same statement to yourself or another with the following phrase:

“I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.”

It’s a powerful way to reframe your thinking towards possibility vs. keeping it in the confines of “can’t.”

“I can’t get this software to work,” “I can’t stop smoking,” “I can’t get up and speak in front of a group” are just a sampling of the “can’ts” that we corner ourselves with.

The phrase “Yes you can” most often engages our polarity and has us become oppositional to whatever has been suggested. That’s why it’s such an ineffective strategy.

“I haven’t figured out how to _______ yet” is a statement of fact that doesn’t close the door on creativity, whereas “can’t” slams it in your face.

“Can’t” becomes a justification for failure and most often keeps us from making any future efforts.

When you turn “can’t” into “I haven’t figured out how to ______ yet,” you turn the tables on “can’t,” and the odds for finding a solution increase.

Turning a phrase is not a magic bullet but it does two things:

1. Gives you a leg up on the resignation and frustration you experience with “can’t.”
2. Gives your mind the option of finding options.

Opening your eyes to what’s possible begins with noticing how often you say “can’t.” The next step is to morph “can’t” into “I haven’t figured out how to ______ yet.”

When you notice and substitute you turn “can’t” on its ear, making 2010 a much more productive year.

All the best,

John

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