Courage
Here’s what The Grasshopper had to say the other day:
“It takes courage to do something smart as well as stupid. Choose wisely.”
It dawned on me that we oftentimes have to muster up courage to do something major and we rarely choose at all. We let the choice make us.
“Smart” and “stupid” may be pejorative words so let’s substitute “productive” and “counter-productive” into The Grasshopper’s quote.
The courage I speak of is like “The Force” in Star Wars. It doesn’t care how you use it. It’s applicable to any task.
Let’s pretend that you have a big choice on the table. Chances are you are going to choose the same way you did the last time you had a major decision to make. Look at your track record in making major decisions. My guess is they have followed a pattern. The next question is: “Is that pattern working for you?” If not, get curious about choosing wisely.
A wise choice is rarely an assemblage of facts and figures. If it were a case of data deciding the choice, all choices would be a lot easier. A wise choice is a deeper choice. It goes past the pros and cons and into the arena where “Yes” is the only answer.
To get to this deeper place of deciding, we have to notice that our normal routine is not working – no matter how much courage we put behind it.
The real courage that is necessary to arrive at this place of wise choice is to admit that you’re never going to figure it out no matter how hard you try. This is a big hurdle. Many look for help to make their choice. This can be helpful in sorting out a selected path, but it’s not a cure.
Side bar: Here’s one thing that most people don’t appreciate about counseling. When all is said and done, it’s still your problem to solve.
A wise choice has a peaceful feeling attached even if it’s a difficult decision. There is a “knowingness” about your choice and it doesn’t come from debate. Reminds me of a personal story I’ll always remember . . .
8 years ago I spontaneously planned to visit my mother in New Jersey. She had been in declining health, and I thought a visit would cheer her up. It’s about a 5 hour ride. During the trip, I received a call from my mother who said that an ambulance was taking her to the hospital because of an elevated heart rate. She said I should drive to the hospital instead of her house. When I got there, she was in the emergency room and was diagnosed with an aneurism in her midsection. They were waiting to treat her. All of a sudden she seized and she gasped and her pupils became as narrow as pinpoints. The team rushed to her bed and tried to get her breathing going. They whisked her off to the operating room and I was asked to sit in a waiting room.
About a half hour later, her doctor came into the room and told me my mother’s aneurism had ruptured and that they would need my permission to do surgery. He told me the surgery had extremely low odds of being successful given her declining health. I asked him “What was the alternative?” He said, “She would bleed to death.” I asked him what he would do if it was his mother. He said, “That’s only a choice you can make.”
I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and began to wonder what I should do. When the answer left my lips, I was filled with peace. I said, “Operate.”
This story does not have a Hollywood ending. My mother died on the operating table that night. In spite of the anguish I felt by her death, I never lost the peace that was associated with my decision.
It’s an unmistakable feeling that invites no second thoughts.
So, will your choice be productive or counter-productive? No one can tell you – only your body can say “Yes” by delivering the peaceful feeling of knowing.
If you are wrestling with a decision, have the courage to call a time out. Find your way to a place of quiet contemplation and go deeper than the data. It is there you will find your choice. There will be no second guessing, and regardless of what others think, you will own the peace of choosing wisely.
All the best,
John
http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan
http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301
Be Sociable, Share!