- Thoughts for inspired living

April 2, 2008

Holding it Together

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 9:31 am

I got a tidbit from The Grasshopper the other day. He said,

“Anything you try and hold together eventually comes apart.”

I wonder how much of our lives we attempt to hold together? And what does that really mean?

It seems we are using bailing wire and duct tape to keep things intact. The nature of the universe is change. I think personal change would happen more naturally and rapidly if we didn’t chain ourselves to the past. “It didn’t used to be this way,” is the battle cry for someone holding it together and avoiding the reality of change.

How are you holding up? is a question we ask of those going through a difficult time. A more helpful strategy is to let the person know that you’re there to help them fall apart. The dam is going to break. Wouldn’t it be helpful to know someone is there to help you survive the impending water damage? Yes, there will be tears. Truth is, that not enough people cry. My thought is if doctors wrote prescriptions for crying, their patients would heal quicker.

What people are holding together is an illusion – a mind made scenario that has no foot in reality. There are a lot of “shoulds,” “coulds” and “oughts” involved in this internal drama. The difficulty is the mind made movie isn’t matching up with reality. The tug of war between the two causes constant angst. We attempt to change reality by holding on to the way it was or the way we think it should be. You would have more luck trying to trap the wind in a colander.

If you are spending your days occupying your mind with how to hold it together thoughts, you are inflicting unnecessary suffering that needs resolution. Reminds me of a story . . .

Comedian, Martin Mull used to room with actor, comedian, Steve Martin early in their careers. Martin said Steve would write jokes and then throw away the ones he didn’t want. Mull said he went through the trash can later and found stuff much funnier than what he was writing. Here is one of the lines he discovered in the waste can: “We sure have had a good time here tonight; too bad we’re all gonna’ die someday.”

Putting off or denying the inevitable – falling apart – keeps you in bondage. You are being fettered by the chains of illusion that make you think you can control what goes on in the world. The longer you impose your will on reality, the longer you suffer. It’s that simple.

It’s a very scary feeling to let go of the illusion of control. But you are only scared once rather than frightening yourself daily with all you have to hold together.

There is a bright side on the other side of falling apart – a calming influence appears in your life. You finally let go of the imaginary struggle and you learn to trust yourself in the face of the challenges life presents, knowing that you’ll respond appropriately. There is no more illusion to defend and hold together. You’re free to be you and not the imposter you were holding together.

Try it for an hour. Let go of the person you are trying to be and just let the real you show up. The freedom you’ll feel acts as jump off point to a more authentic you – a you who no longer needs to hold it together.

All the best,


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