I really haven’t figured out my blogging software yet. I spent over an hour yesterday making a concerted effort to get the picture of the 2 CD Set, I LOVE MY BODY onto this site. I think I have finally figured it out.
It’s the fastest selling CD I have ever produced and I think it’s because it touches on something that is so obvious, yet remains hidden for most. Please read yesterday’s blog below to find out more.
You may be planning a new regime in the New Year regarding your weight and the shape of your body. You’re not alone. It’s the #1 New Year’s Resolution.
Sadly, most diet plans fail because they don’t address the root cause of being overweight and people gain back all the weight they lost, and then some. That’s what our Hypnosis Seminars help you do – Lose Weight and Keep it Off. The same is true for my Lose Weight & Keep it Off DVD. I encourage anyone who has tried everything to get to one of our weight loss seminars or purchase the seminar on DVD.
“But,” You Say, “My Story is Different . . .”
You may be struggling with the most hidden aspect of weight loss. You have the ability to lose weight but you get to a sticking point and you just can’t get past it. No matter what you do, you can’t get over the hump.
There’s a simple reason why that happens for so many. And there’s an easy solution. It’s called, I LOVE MY BODY.
I have been doing weight loss seminars for over 25 years and I cannot begin to estimate the number of times people have come up to me and said, “I hate my body.”
90% of the emails I receive about weight loss have some form of the declaration, “I hate my body” in them. This is true for the anorexic and the obese and for everyone in between.
Sadly, our culture has added fuel to that raging fire. For example, according to a recent survey, the last time most women felt comfortable in a bathing suit was at age 10. That alone should tell you something about how we perceive our bodies.
Here’s the Why and Wherefore . . .
Imagine for a moment that you have requested something of someone whom you absolutely loathe. You’ve made no secret of the fact that this person disgusts you. In fact, you’ve told them to their face that you hate their guts. How cooperative would that person be in granting your request? My guess is not very.
Your body responds in the same exact way. You may begin to get results with your weight loss or body shaping program, and then all of a sudden you get stuck in the mud. Your body won’t cooperate.
The amazing secret to getting unstuck is to change your attitude towards your body.
You may have heard me say the word “attitude” is an aeronautical term which means angle of approach? If someone told you to change your attitude, that may sound harsh and parental and you may not have a great response to that request. If, however, they asked you to change your angle of approach, that is a lot easier on the ears, and there is not quite the emotional response to that suggestion.
I LOVE MY BODY shows you how shifting your angle of approach, just a few degrees, jumpstarts your body’s cooperation. This new approach called, Self-Acceptance Psychology® removes the roadblocks and gets your body in the shape you want.
“John walks you through a process – very relaxing, soothing. I melted. It goes deeper than weight-loss, beyond self-acceptance into self-love. It’s for anyone who has body image issues -and really, who doesn’t? A deceptively simple process that has altered the way I see myself and how I view the world. I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to fit in size 10’s again. This CD is for anyone who has struggled with body image issues and self-acceptance. Thank you, John.”
– Hali C. – Massage Therapist, Luray, VA
Your body is deserving of recognition, respect and love. It has served you through life and has done precisely what it was created to do, and you may be treating it like an evil step-sister. Your body loves you, and when your return that love, you get unstuck. It’s that simple.
Acceptance is the catalyst for transformation. Willingness is the catalyst for acceptance. Be willing to shift your angle of approach and accept your body. Begin to honor and acknowledge your body for the miracles it performs every day. Start expressing your gratitude for all that your body does for you, and begin to show it your appreciation and love. Then stand back and watch what happens!
Change begins rapidly when you start communicating, I LOVE MY BODY.
To assist you in getting unstuck, I have created a 2 CD set called, I LOVE MY BODY. One Hypnosis CD is for eyes closed listening when time permits. The second Hypnosis CD – filled with subliminal, self-acceptance suggestions – can be listened to while engaged in other activities like, driving, exercising, reading a newspaper or a book, or scanning the web.
These CDs are for men and women alike – including: people who want to lose or gain weight, body builders, body shapers, and anyone who has life-long, negative body image issues.
If you have reached a plateau in your weight loss or body shaping program, I LOVE MY BODY is your catalyst for transformation. Purchase the I LOVE MY BODY CD set for yourself, and then buy another set for someone you love. They will love you forever. It’s only $39.95.
This is the only New Year’s Resolution you need to make – I LOVE MY BODY
Make this New Year Year’s Resolution NOW, and finally get out of the mud and get over the hump!
Purchase this 2 CD Set for only $39.95 by clicking here.
Happy New Year!
John
This is the time of year you see a bevy of calendars on sale for the New Year. There is no lack of imagination as to what is put on them to make them the perfect gift for someone. Which reminds me of a story . . .
My late friend, Dick Schultheis and I were having a “woe is me,” back and forth conversation in the early ’90’s about our lives. It was the garden variety “piss and moan” exchange. Somewhere in the middle of our chat, I got this gift of awareness from The Grasshopper:
“A quality life is made up of quality moments. It’s that basic.”
That thought spurred this idea. I said to Dick, “I’ve just come up with a way to measure genuine success.” He laughed and said, “OK, let’s hear it.”
My idea was to buy a calendar and at the end of each day you were to record the number of “warm fuzzies” you had that day. I called it the “Warm Fuzzies Calendar.” A warm fuzzy was defined as the number of pleasant sensations you noticed that day. You were to enter each one on the calendar.
I said you could also compare yourself to anyone else who would take the challenge to record their WF’s for a month’s time. The winner would be the person with the most warm fuzzies. Sure, you could lie but that’s like cheating at Solitaire. What’s the point?
I went on to explain that we could eliminate conditions as being the necessary components of having a warm fuzzy. That meant you could do a comparison with people who had desirable things or conditions in their life that you didn’t, and find out where they fell on the warm fuzzy chart. My sense at that time was that conditions had very little to do with the warm sensations people experienced on any given day. I became even more convinced as the years went on. It turned into a fun conversation that I will always remember with a guy I’ll never forget.
You may not find a Warm Fuzzies Calendar at Barnes and Noble but that doesn’t mean you can’t make one. The closest I’ve seen is a journal. It’s from Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret. She calls it The Secret Gratitude Book.
My sense is that notating what you are grateful for will bring you many warm fuzzies.
However you do it, the practice has value. Recording these pleasant sensations is an exercise in being in tune with your body and that always pays dividends. It keeps you centered and in the moment and chases away that holiday favorite, “The Grinch Who Stole My Peace of Mind.”
All the best,
John
‘Tis the season to use reasons . . .
This blog has nothing to do with Christmas. This is about a misperception we humans have. Reasons have a year round and life-long season. Reminds me of a story . . .
When I conduct weight loss seminars, it is shocking to see the belief that a large number of intelligent people carry around in their mind that has no basis in reality. Someone will say, “I want to change this fat into muscle.” When I probe further, they really think that fat becomes muscle. Fat is fat and muscle is muscle. One never becomes the other one. When one dissipates, the other is more visible.
Then one day The Grasshopper spoke and said,
“Reasons have nothing to do with behavior.”
That got me curious as to how often we justify behavior after the fact with a reason. It’s a basic software package that comes with the human mind. “The reason I’m flunking algebra is because the teacher doesn’t like me . . . is the toughest teacher in the city . . . all the kids are failing . . . blah, etc.” The unreasoned answer to “Why are you flunking algebra?” is “because I’m flunking algebra.” The mind will never run out of reasons. It’s a reasoning machine.
The answer to “why” is always “because.” Perhaps this fact alone will get you to form the habit of stop asking “why” questions. “Why” always gets a reason. Behavior is behavior and reasons are reasons and when one dissipates, the other is more visible.
I’ll admit it’s fun to muse as to the reason why someone did something but the answers can never be trusted. No matter how talented a lion tamer you are, never turn your back on Leo.
We act and we justify. Notice how often that people don’t agree with your reasoning for your behavior. Then they come up with their reasons and the debate goes on forever as to who has the right reason. Reasons are like pregnant cats – they are the gift that keeps on giving.
Here’s a little secret I’ve discovered. When you acknowledge your behavior without issuing a host of reasons, the other person stops reasoning as well and the pointless debate ceases.
How many public figures – politicians, actors, athletes – would end the debate and soften their fate if they stopped issuing reasons for their actions. Flip Wilson was a funny man and his popular phrase, “The devil made me do it,” is the battle cry of the reasoning process. Reasons always throw kerosene onto an already blazing fire.
Today’s blog is a message for all of us to be more mindful about our penchant to reason away reality.
All the best,
John
One of the biggest buzzwords in advertising for women is “Freedom.” Whether it is directly stated in the ads or is depicted in the pictures or backdrops used, the underlying message being sent is freedom. There is a reason advertisers do this.
Survey after survey confirms that most women want freedom. The difficulty is when directly asked what they mean by freedom, the answers are not very specific. The fuzziness of the answers stems from an out of focus picture of what freedom means to them. Men want this illusive thing called freedom as well, but it doesn’t seem to be as high on their list.
The culprit is culture and the conditioning it infuses which gets passed from generation to generation. This cultural conditioning eventually produces dissatisfaction. The common complaint is, “My life is not mine.” Exploring how the idea got into your mind and assessing blame is not really that helpful. Appreciating that there’s a deeper meaning to freedom and redefining it may help to clarify its significance to you. This new perspective can act as a springboard to true freedom.
Here are some perspectives on freedom that may provide focus:
“When you desire freedom, then you have to be willing to face what you’ve been running from in your search for it.” – Gangaji, from The Diamond in Your Pocket.
“Freedom is the realization that you are not the thinker.” “Presence is the key to freedom.” – Eckhart Tolle, from Practicing the Power of Now.
“Freedom is precisely the state of not having to choose.” – Krishnamurti
“Freedom is having the culture keep swirling past you and you don’t care.” – Bill Reynolds, Sportswriter
“What you want freedom from are the thoughts that trap you in your mind.” – The Grasshopper
“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
“We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Freedom is like taking a bath – you have to keep doing it every day!” – Florynce Kennedy
All the best,
John
I’ve seen enough ads on TV for personal injury law firms to be familiar with the terms, “pain & suffering.” In my mind they were one word painandsuffering . . . which reminds me of a story.
When I moved to New England in 1980, I kept hearing the name of these islands during the weather reports. The weathercaster would say, “. . . and showers are predicted for the Capan Islands. I wasn’t an “A” student in geography but I thought I would have heard about these islands, especially since they mentioned them in every forecast. It took awhile but the gift of awareness finally showed up one day. They were referring to the Cape and islands (Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket).
So back to pain and suffering. I thought of them as one term until one day they separated in my mind and became separate entities. It became quite clear that the pain the ads were referring to was physical pain, and suffering was the mental component of the situation – the anguish, despair, depression, etc.
The Buddha referred to suffering as the most prevalent human condition. His 4 Noble Truths explore suffering – the presence of, the cause of, the end of, and the plan to get there.
In our culture we always have pain (physical and emotional) and suffering associated – stimulus/response. If you have one, the other must be present. It is a reality for most, but it can’t stand up under the light of truth.
Pain is a stimulus and suffering is a conditioned response. It happens so fast that we forget that we own free will. Free will arrives when get some space between stimulus and response. Then and only then do we have the ability to choose. Most of our choices are made for us due to the social, cultural and parental conditioning that has been handed down throughout the centuries. We absorb it, and worse, we believe it. Conditioning robs us of choice.
Then The Grasshopper chimed in on the topic. He said,
“The degree to which you suffer is proportionate to your resistance.”
I took that to mean that when we resist or deny reality, we suffer. It’s always the case.
The reality is we do have the ability to choose another response. We can choose another option to pain. When we become aware of other options, other than the one of replaying our suffering thoughts over and over again in our mind, we attain freedom.
Did you ever notice that circus elephants are only restrained with a rope around one of their legs? The elephant could easily snap the rope with its sheer power, but it doesn’t. That’s because when they were trained as baby elephants, they were restrained with heavy chains. They would try and try to move, but their efforts were always thwarted. The sense of being powerless against the restraint translated from chain to rope as they became adults.
True freedom is not being a slave to your conditioning. You do have a choice. The choice is to notice that you have a choice. Noticing is the beginning of slipping a wedge between stimulus and response. Consistent application of this noticing practice gives you more options than you ever thought possible.
Your physician or counselor may be of assistance in alleviating the pain. Only you can choose to end the suffering.
All the best,
John
I don’t know about you but I’ve done my share of living in the past. The rock group, Jethro Tull even devoted an album title to the topic. Then one day I heard The Grasshopper say,
“Living in the past is like dancing with a corpse.”
The past is a mental manifestation – the recent past and the long ago and far away past. The past only exists in your mind. It’s wonderful to have fond memories of days gone by, but, many of us haven’t noticed, those days have gone by. It’s fun to reminisce, but when it becomes indulgent, Tony Soprano’s quote should come to mind:
“Remember When is the lowest form of conversation.”
My ex-wife had a great expression when she would see little children immersed in something that took their full attention. She would say, “They are making memories.” Making memories is always better than trying to live them.
The present moment always reels us in from the escapism of living in the past or the fanciful flight into the future. Again, there is nothing wrong with either of these mind made places. They are great to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there.
If you want some instruction on present moment living, I heartily recommend reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The short form description is this: Now is the only time life happens. The past, when it was here, was now, and the future, when it arrives, will be now.
I like to use the metaphor of an analog clock face to describe now. The clock face itself represents now. The face is the constant, unchanging, ever-present backdrop of now. The hands of the clock (second, minute & hour) represent past and future. The hands symbolize the passage of time because they are always in motion; however minute (MY-NUTE). They move from the seeming past to the seeming future yet they operate in the space of now. The clock face is the space that gives time its reference. The space where time appears is always now.
Begin to wonder how much of your now that you devote to the past that’s gone and to the future which hasn’t arrived. Most of these excursions deliver either rotted fruit or unripe apples – neither of which will feed you now.
When you become present to what’s right in front of you – the now – the richness of life that you have been seeking in time presents itself.
I don’t know who said it but the wisdom is timeless:
“The reason they call it the present is because it’s a gift.”
All the best,
John
There is something interesting about bringing a dead tree into your house and decorating it. It’s tradition. We do it every year. I have threatened to buy one with a root ball and plant it when the weather breaks, but that hasn’t happened yet. Artificial trees are not an option.
We bring out the Johnny Mathis Merry Christmas CD, which is 50 years old this year, and decorate. We put a flashing angel, which we’ve had for 36 Christmases, at the top of the tree; then affix lights, tinsel, garland and hang new ornaments, along with ones that have some family history attached to them. And when it’s all done, someone invariable says, “best tree ever.”
This tradition no matter how gauche or foreign it may seem to others brings everyone in our family a warm fuzzy. I can’t defend it. I just enjoy it.
It got me to wondering about traditions that don’t bring such warm feelings. How many of them do we hang on to after they’ve had their run and have turned cold?
It’s a fairly common occurrence. These threadbare traditions are patterns of behavior that run in the background and they run us. These patterns may have been very purposeful when they were originally formed but have outlived their usefulness – like a Christmas fruitcake in February – yet, we hang on to them.
If eradicating patterns were an exercise in logic, these patterns could easily be discarded just based on the facts. But patterns don’t respond to logic because there is emotion tied to them. You’ll never win an emotional argument with facts. As Ishmael says,
“There is no argument powerful enough to end the argument.”
You will often hear me say that recognition is the catalyst for change. Once we recognize that we have a tradition in place that isn’t working, we are on the doorstep of discovery. The real courage is to step through that doorway and find out what’s there.
I remember many years ago someone asking Dr. Dave Dobson why he thought women stayed in physically abusive relationships. His answer was profound. He said something like, “they know what to expect in this relationship; they don’t know what to expect away from it.” He explained that their fear of the unknown was much stronger than the fear of the abusive partner.
So where does the courage come from? I can assure you it won’t come from any logical discussion. Courage is a sensation that just comes upon us. It’s like the Christian concept of grace. You can’t talk your way into receiving grace. It just shows up. It shows up when we put the logic away. When we stop arm wrestling with ourselves in our mind, we make space for grace.
This sensation called grace gives us the courage to traverse thresholds and begin new traditions – ones that deliver more warm fuzzies.
Getting yourself to a quiet place everyday will do more for you than any amount of logical chit-chat. Make time to give yourself an early gift this holiday season – the gift of quiet contemplation, where thinking takes a vacation, and grace fills that space.
All the best,
John
I went through my Grasshopper Notes Journal this morning and found this entry from September of 2004.
Preference vs. Right & Wrong
“Labeling ways of doing things or thinking about things as a preference will give you a broader perspective vs. the cultural conditioning of right and wrong. This broader view will give you more flexibility in life and open more doors.”
That notation led to the following piece of a newsletter I sent out soon after.
John Morgan Newsletter – S P A C E S
RIGHT & WRONG vs. PREFERENCE
Right and wrong as a way of thinking causes many unnecessary problems that can be avoided if we opt for the word “preference” instead. Right and wrong are cultivated by culture and even within that culture there are disagreements about what is right and what is wrong. The world of right and wrong is a sticky wicket because there are so many versions of right and wrong. The word “preference” personalizes something and helps you take ownership of your position on something instead of hiding behind the apron of mother culture.
If you tell someone they are wrong about something, there is an immediate wall built between you and them. No one likes being wrong. When you say, “I’m right,” the immediate implication is the other person is wrong. Notice what happens if you say to someone, “I believe your information is inaccurate” vs. telling him or her they are wrong. You’ve done two things by saying that.
1. You have put the onus on the information, not them.
2. You have used a high school word vs. a parental judgment word that has been carrying negative baggage for you since before you were five.
That’s a nifty way around right and wrong and here’s another option.
Get into the habit of saying you have a preference for something instead of taking a cultural position of right or wrong on it. That immediately tells people you are not arguing the merits of right and wrong and it also demonstrates ownership of the preference. You may have a specific way of doing things that other people do much differently.
Let’s pretend you have a specific idea about how to raise children. You instinctively know other people have other ideas. If you declare you have the right way or the best way to bring up children, you are going to set up a polarity response with many people. Notice what happens if you say you have a preference of bringing up your children the way you do. This gives credence to other ways of doing things without you having to defend being right. Having a preference will give you more flexibility without having to abandon or defend your way of doing things.
All the best,
John
It takes abundant courage for me to write about music because I know very little about it. I know what I like and what I don’t have a preference for. That’s about it.
Last night at dinner, my son and I were listening to the Diana Krall Christmas CD. She sings a version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and she does an interesting treatment of the lyrics “through the years” towards the end of the song. To my ear she elongates each word and they seem to blend well – throooughtheyeeeears. I said that I like that. My son said it was a musical style known as Legato. It literally means tied together.
He went on to explain Legato’s counterpart – Staccato. Staccato means the notes are played separate and distinct – no blending.
It seemed like the energy of yin and yang to me – opposite ends of the same.
Legato seems to be the yielding, no effort, accepting female energy of the duality known as yin.
Staccato to me represents the activeness or fire usually associated with the male energy known as yang.
There is an abruptness to male energy just as in Staccato. There seems to be a lot of concentrated activity with male energy and this style of music. It reminds me of an actor delivering lines he hasn’t quite yet memorized. There is an “at war” feel to this approach – a striving.
Legato seems to exude easiness. It is like the effortless yielding associated with yin.
The old adage, “You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them” comes to mind. These two energy forces make the world go round and we have both of these energies within us.
The human situation is that we tend to depend on one and deny the other. That always causes consternation.
When you see two people who have just taken dance lessons, it’s quite obvious that they are working at it (yang). It has no flow (yin). Contrast that to two people floating across the dance floor. Yes, you can break their routine down to an Arthur Murray recipe but that’s only part of the equation. The blending of the two energies is what makes the dancers appear as one flowing unit.
Unless you are dancing with someone you don’t like, the purpose of the dance is not to get to the end. The purpose of the dance is to dance. Yes it has a beginning and an end but the focus is not on either. Its purpose is to have two dancers appear as one with the natural ebb and flow movements that make up our universe and our lives.
I guess my message is to appreciate the parts that make up the whole and to incorporate those energies into your life. The book of Ecclesiastes tells us, “To everything there is a season, a time to sow and a time to reap.” They are separate actions that make up the whole. You can’t have one without the other.
Blend the staccato and legato energies into your life. Dance the dance and reap more bountiful crops.
All the best,
John
