“No sense predicting the future; the future predicts us.” So said The Grasshopper this morning.

We live a self-fulfilling prophesy every day when our patterns keep us steeped in our ways.

Here’s what we rarely do: examine our patterned way of thinking and behaving. We just put it out there on display and not recognize how it gets in our way.

The biggest addiction I’ve witnessed in my lifetime is denial. We deny that our patterned behavior is the cause of us remaining stuck. We constantly look outside of us for a demon as the reason. It’s the “Devil made me do it” defense – one that, under inspection, – makes no sense.

Our future looks back on us and sees us in cement. That will be the case as long as we deny responsibility for our present circumstances.

Our patterns of thinking and behaving need periodic review. Doing so, gives us opportunities to make adjustments so we can build a future that’s not the “same old” but new.

All the best,

John

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Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Victimhood is a self-fulfilling prophesy measurable by the amount of time we spend thinking about and talking about being a victim.

The Grasshopper started this line of reflection when he said, “The way to stop being a victim is to stop thinking you’re a victim.”

Victimhood is not in your DNA; it’s conditioned by what you think about day-to-day.

Who hasn’t heard someone say this: “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all”? Perhaps, that’s something you say. Let me quote photography guru Peter Hurley when he hears photography students telling their clients to smile: “STOP IT PEOPLE! STOP IT NOW!”

“I always attract the same kind of people in my life” is a revealing statement. It reflects a belief you hold. That begs the question, “What is a belief?” It’s something you’ve thought about over and over until it became second nature.

Yes, people have been victimized and that is a real thing, one that needs to be acknowledged and addressed. But it’s something that turns into drama when you tell your story of being a victim over and over again. That practice gets us to believe we are a victim.

Victimhood is a belief – one that isn’t serving you well. Continually citing the times you’ve been a victim is a history lesson, not indicative of your future fate. But history will repeat itself if you continue to tell the stories.

Giving up the belief that you are a victim begins when you recognize and interrupt your thoughts of being a victim. This practice involves getting a wedge between stimulus and a conditioned reaction. That wedge is recognition. Recognize that you’re thinking that you’re a victim. Interrupt that thinking just by noticing that you’re having the thought. In that moment of recognition, you create a space in your thinking – a space for something new to come through.

Just like Peter Hurley’s directive to STOP IT NOW!, direct your thinking by recognizing and interrupting it. It’s the way to stop being a victim of your thinking.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 9-7-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

I was working on a video project and The Grasshopper jumped off his editor’s chair and said this, “Women are tired.”

After reflecting on this message, I came away with something different than I first thought. My first reaction was, “women are overworked.” That interpretation felt too obvious. The message seemed to contain something deeper.

It prompted me to ask the ethers, “What are they tired of?” The answer came quickly and like a ton of bricks. Women are tired of being picked apart!

Women for generations have been conditioned to swallow rather than speak. Their silence has been taken as agreement with the unsolicited assessments of their capabilities or foibles.

Often, we don’t recognize change when we’re in the middle of it. It’s only afterwards that we get the recognition of what happened.

My sense is we’re in that transition now and women are the centerpiece.

Women are talking back and not taking kindly to unsolicited flack.

It’s no accident that more women are in leadership roles in our society. They’ve finally shed the mantle that only men can have a say, and no longer will tolerate being told about the errors of their “way.”

It’s not that women are more sensitive to criticism; they’re just more experience on being on the receiving end of it. No More!

To all my male readers and friends: You’ve been warned. The old axiom has new life: “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 8-31-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Now that hurricane season is upon us, and as we witness the devastation these storms do, it’s instructive to know if we’re on the “dirty side” of the storm.

The “dirty side” of the storm, the right side, contains the maximum hurricane impact and the most dangerous winds. In basic terms, if the storm is heading north, the left side (west) will contain the most water and the right side (east) will contain the most wind.

Both sides are dangerous but the dirty side is the one that causes the most structural damage.

Our country is involved in other violent storms: the pandemic and the divisiveness of our society. Each of these gales seems to have a side. I’ll leave it to your good judgement as to which side is causing the most damage and the side you form your personal affinity around. But when you come right down to it, these sides are just arguments – not solutions.

If you spend all your time at odds and spend your time and energy looking for examples to fortify your opinion, you are working on the wrong side (the dirty side) of the equation.

If you truly want things to add up, you need to be working on a solution. There are plenty of people who can tell you what the problems are; there are too few working on solutions. Just look at our congress for example – as divided as anytime in our life time. This “deliberative body” is not delivering solutions because it’s using maximum wind attempting to blow the other side apart, and compromising has become a lost art.

In a flooded out area, are you going to be a windbag or a sandbag? You won’t come to a solution if you continue to deride, you’ll just remain on the devastating “dirty side.”

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

The Grasshopper popped in in the middle of me doing a crossword puzzle and had this to say: “Stress is a reaction to reality.”

Stress may be a noun in the English language, but it’s not a thing. It’s an action. More pointedly, it’s a conditioned reaction.

The number of people who say, “my stress” believe it’s a thing. Stress is not a thing waiting to attack you. It’s a reaction to a stimulus that you have conditioned or has been conditioned into you.

But this is more than a treatise on semantics; it’s an invitation to look at reality.

Stress doesn’t exist. It’s a made up word to describe our reaction to what’s happening around us. “I’m so stressed out by the pandemic” needs to be translated into, “My reaction to the pandemic is to feel lousy.”

When you recognize stress is a reaction, then you realize you have a choice: to respond differently. When you make stress a thing, it’s as lame as saying, “I had no choice. The devil made me do it.”

We use stress as an excuse not to take any action. When you make it a thing, you give it power and permission to immobilize you.

Begin to look at stress in a new light: a reaction to reality rather than a response. A reaction has you “re-act” the same way again and again. A response is a conscious choice that heads you in a new direction.

Stress, like anger and depression, is not a thing. It’s a conditioned reaction to a stimulus.

Think of it this way: A reaction chooses you; you choose a response.

When you throw in the clutch (that means when you offer yourself a choice), you can switch gears from a reaction to a response. Responding is a proven way to drive away from stress.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Here is the recorded version of the Grasshopper Note for the week of 8-24-20.

Read the written version here.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

On the ride home from getting a haircut, the Grasshopper hit me with this snippet: “A goal without a plan is a wish. A wish without action will be your dying wish.”

Phew, some heavy stuff there. Here’s my takeaway from that quote: You’ll go to the hereafter without getting what you’re after if your goal remains a hope.

I hope this doesn’t offend you but hope is a mental construct – something we made up – something to ease our angst while we sit by idly and expect magic to happen without taking any action.

“I hope it doesn’t rain” has no effect on the weather.

“Hoping,” and it’s second cousin, “Wishing” are the language of languishment.

I realize there are active and passive people in the world. Passive people live in a world others create and active people create their world. But even a passive person like me recognizes you can’t pass the buck and depend on luck.

All motivation is self-motivation. No one else can motivate a “hoping” you unless you’re open to taking some action.

I’ve mentioned this too many times to mention, but it’s appropriate here. When I was a kid, we went to a bank that used this slug line in their ads: “Wishing won’t do it; saving will.”

Don’t let your dying wish be, “I wish I had’ve done (fill in the blank).” Take the advice issued by my boyhood bank. Save your wishes and don’t rely on hope. To reach your goal, you need some elbow grease and a little bit of soap.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Long ago, I made a conscious choice to remain apolitical in or on any public forum. It keeps me out of pointless arguments that just amount to me saying “I’m right and you’re wrong” – a surefire phrase to keep you at odds.

Like you, I have opinions but I’m not castigating you for having ones different from mine.

Let’s pretend that you don’t believe in God. Do you think there is any argument you can make that is going to win over a God fearing person to your side?

I respect that people have different opinions about who they’re going to support and I applaud their right to say so publicly, no matter how off base I think they are.

When we insist our opinions are dogma, we only reach the ears of the already converted.

The political opinions that I completely ignore come from people who are too lazy or too impressionable to vet the information they put out for public consumption. I can’t tell you the number of social media postings I’ve seen from all sides of the political spectrum that not only strain credulity, but crush it like a bug.

It would be too easy to pejoratively call these people “stupid,” but they’re not. Misinformed and easily led by information that panders to their bias would be a more accurate description.

When it comes to politics, I’m like the brothers who play on opposing sports teams. “Bro, I hope you win every game, except the one you play against me.”

I hope your candidates win except in the cases where they oppose mine, but you won’t see me trying to convince you that you’re wrong through the grapevine.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.