The Grasshopper chimed in during a phone conversation I was having yesterday and he said, “You can get more of what you want if you give them more of what they need.”

Whatever the “wants” and “needs” are, this formula seems to work time and time again.

Our politicians could benefit greatly if they followed this formula more often, and so can you.

You know what you want, so now it’s time to find out what they need and provide it as best you can.

Focus on the needs of others and provide the product, service, or TLC that they need, and watch your wants get satisfied.

The old adage “give a little, get a little” comes to mind. We seem to forget that message when we start pursuing what we want without regard to others. Getting what we want usually involves other people, and knowing and fulfilling what they need needs to come first in order for us to be able to slake our wanting thirst.

Reminds me of a story from the late Dr.Dave Dobson. He taught us that if you’re curious about someone’s age, don’t outright ask them. Offer up your age first and then it’s easier for them to follow suit. Say something like this: “On my next birthday, I’m going to be 55. I’m wondering how many candles will be on your next birthday cake.”

Here’s one of life’s little shortcuts: If you can remember that needs come before wants, what you want will happen much quicker.

All the best,

John

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How many times in your life have you heard or used the expression “raw deal”? “I got a raw deal.” “She got a raw deal.” You’ll run out of fingers and toes counting them up.

Truth be told, you were dealt a hand. The description of the hand came after the fact, attempting to categorize it as “undeserved” or “unwelcome.”

The pure reality is that you were dealt a hand. The key now is how to play it out. In other words, how to respond to the situation vs. react to it.

“Raw deal” is a reaction that gets lots of traction, especially with others who can also recount all the times they were treated poorly by the “dealer.” This conversation can go on for decades without seeking a solution, spending time, instead, reacting to the events and expecting a resolution.

Once the shock of the deal has worn off, it’s time to find a way to respond so that you can live and fight another day. I’ve always had a poor opinion of the New Hampshire motto: “Live Free or Die.” I’m all for living free, but if my only other option is for me to die, I’m out. I’d rather live under the blanket of oppression until I could figure out a way of responding that would get me to live free at a later date.

“Live Free or Die,” like a lot of reactions, doesn’t present a lot of options. Responding does. Responding presents us with more choices – ones that reactions never look for.

If life is a card game, the trick to keep on playing is learning how to play out a bad hand. You’l have plenty of opportunities to practice because not every hand is a winner, and you’ll gamble away your options if “raw deal” is the only thing on the menu for dinner.

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.