The following is from a Grasshopper Note I wrote years ago that I called, “Fighting Arguments That You’ve Already Won.”

One of my biggest shortcomings is going over the same trail I’ve blazed before. I find it exasperating.

How many times can you offer the same piece of solid, time-tested advice and have it ignored? It’s not like you don’t have a track record of successes with that same piece of advice; it’s just that others aren’t willing to take you seriously. In short, they don’t believe what you’re offering applies to them.

Breaking through that wall of denial is just too much work for me. I have arrived at the “Que Sera Sera” stage of my life. It’s been a difficult transition.

Letting go of what you know is a tall order. Letting “whatever will be will be” take its place takes practice.

One of the blessings/curses I have in life is sensing what peoples’ problems are almost instantly after meeting them. It’s nothing I studied; it just comes to me naturally. The transition has been to finally realize I don’t have to point out what I recognize.

In the past, I often thought I was doing the person a service. In reality, I was offering an unsolicited opinion. That rarely worked and was received as a personal affront. The words of my hypnosis teacher Dr. Dave Dobson now come to mind: “Are they paying you?”

He didn’t add the rest of the implied phrase: “If not, then shut up.”

The good news is: I don’t have to abandon the skill, just only use it when it’s requested.

People can still ignore my “sage advice” but it won’t be for free. And I can enjoy my new mantra: “Whatever will be will be.”

All the best,

John

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