I have always been a lover of the Buddha quote, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

I have been a teacher for many decades and a student my entire life. One of the discoveries I have made as a student and as a teacher is that often we are not ready for the lesson.

The lesson often appears as a mountain, one that we’re not ready to climb. We set that lesson aside because it seems too difficult or not relevant to learn.

What I have learned is that we may need to learn a preliminary lesson first, (a foothill) before the major lesson (the mountain) begins to make sense.

Perhaps a story would be helpful to have an appreciation of how a major lesson is sometimes dependent on learning a stepping stone lesson first.

Back at the turn of this century, I was not in a good mental place. Many life challenging events were arriving in my life at the same time. It seemed like the planets were aligned against me. Luckily, I had the good fortune of listening to a seminar on tape presented by Jerry Stocking. It was from that tape that I learned that I was not the thoughts in my head. It was an eye-opening, life changing revelation for me.

That caused me to attend one of Jerry’s events a year later and experience his teachings first hand. He was amazing. During that week, one of the other attendees told me about this book she was reading called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. She highly recommended it. When I got home, I bought the book and proceeded to read it 23 times, learning something new about myself with each reading.

The point of my story is that I don’t think the Tolle book would have had the impact on me that it did, had I not previously had the realization that I was not the thoughts in my head. His book built on that lesson and I was then able to absorb more.

I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes you need to build a birdhouse before taking on a remodeling project in your home. The DIY video on YouTube may seem too daunting if you don’t own the birdhouse experience, and you’ll probably lose interest.

There will be a teacher at the ready at all times. Before you’re ready for them, you may need to learn a preliminary lesson that “greases the skids” for you to learn more.

If you’re contemplating climbing a mountain, I’ll quote a familiar, famous, and ancient Chinese proverb to bookend this this post: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.

Over the years, I’ve developed a new response to people who continually say things that I find disagreeable and offensive.

In the past, I would just label them with a pejorative putdown and feed my superiority. That may work in the short run, but if you encounter this person over time, you’ll be hard-pressed to meet the moment with your bag filled with sticks and stones.

To get closer to these folks, it’s necessary to shift your strategy. One way is to “walk a mile in their shoes.” That means to get curious how they got to be this way and then develop some empathy for how they’re feeling.

The Grasshopper was rather crude but on target when he uttered these words to me yesterday: “If that much shit comes out of their mouth, imagine how much more is in their head.”

I can’t imagine I’m the only one who says, “I would hate to live in their head.”

People spewing garbage are feeling rotten inside. It’s helpful to know that before you decide to “deride.”

A strategy I was taught many years ago recently came to mind. It went like this: respond to a critical remark in this fashion:

1. Ask a question in response to the remark.

2. Ask with genuine curiosity.

3. Ask the question in “neutral.” (That means to take the implied “screw you” out of your voice).

This allows the communication to keep going and gives you a much better chance for a more productive outcome than had you offered your initial reaction.

I’m not suggesting you put this person on your Christmas card list, just appreciate that you’ll communicate with them better, than if you just offer them a “diss.”

All the best,

John

Listen to the recorded version.

Make sure to download a FREE copy of my ebook: INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change here.