I was chatting with a friend on the phone yesterday and this statement just fell out of my mouth: “If I can’t prove it, I don’t argue for it.”

This hasn’t always been the case. In the past, I would argue for positions I had opinions about but certainly didn’t have all the facts.

The problem, as I see it now, was asserting that what I was saying was “the truth.” If I had labeled it as just my point of view, I could have left the truth out of it and also the obstinance that’s displayed when you claim the truth is on your side.

Over the years, what I found is this: the arguments go nowhere. There’s just a back and forth of bashing each other with “the truth,” resulting in hard feelings after hard arguments which were soft on the facts.

Here’s one of the things I would argue about: Nature or Nurture.

Were people born that way or conditioned that way? This argument can apply to too many situations to mention. Suffice it to say, that no one to this day has all the facts line up on their side for either nature or nurture, yet they continue to argue. Not me.

There is “no win” involved for either side, just perpetual contention about opinions labeled as truth. It’s truly a waste of breath and time.

I will readily share my opinions on topics when asked, but I no longer argue for them. I may offer a rationale for having my opinion but I now know I can’t prove it and have stopped pretending that I can.

Here’s the closest I can come to the truth: You’ll be involved in fewer pointless arguments when you stop pretending that you can prove your opinion.

All the best,

John