The Grasshopper left this at my snowy doorstep this morning: “Social grace has left this place.” It almost had the feel of “Elvis has left the building.”

Social graces are packing up and leaving town, sort of like the circus. The only difference is – the circus will be back. I wish I could say the same about social graces but I just don’t see the evidence.

Let me start with “please” and “thank you.” They’re a shadow of their former self. They used to be staples of our culture but have all but disappeared.

A large disappointment for me in the electronic age is someone you know not responding to a personal email, text, etc. You may have sent off a friendly request for this or that or just dropped them a note of thanks, or have sent them an article you saw online that made you think of them. The amount of “no response” is staggering and shows lack of social grace.

Here’s what I’ve found about many people lacking in social grace. They are struggling, usually financially, usually for a lifetime.

You may not have been taught social graces growing up which gives you a legitimate excuse for not having them. But once you learn of their existence and choose not to learn them, you will continue to struggle.

When I observe people on the fringes of life, I notice a lack of social grace which seems to be attached to an attitude of entitlement. They seem entitled to whatever it is that you offered and no thanks or acknowledgement is necessary.

Too bad you can’t live off entitlement because, if you could, these folks would be super rich. But they’re not. They are perpetually struggling.

I learned something from Jerry Stocking many years ago. He said if you change one thing, subtle shifts will take place within you and other things will change as well. I submit that if you start adopting social graces, you will start to reap other benefits as well.

Your sense of entitlement will begin to melt and fade away making room for more benefits to come your way.

There is a two-way street that opens up when you express thanks, rather than a one-way ticket to a life of lack.

I could have made all this up and, frankly, I did. But what if my notion is correct. Wouldn’t it be in your best interest to adopt social graces?

Only entitlement stands in the way of you finding a better way.

All the best,

John