Have you ever used the phrase, “We’re not on the same page”? Or how about, “We’re not singing out of the same hymn book”? Perhaps you’ve even said, “We’re not on the same frequency.”

On the initial review of those phrases we may assess them all as metaphors. I submit the last one is more than a metaphor.

“The Same Frequency” has science behind it. According to the scientists everything is energy and energy can be measured in frequency.

When you are on the same frequency with someone, there is a bond and you radiate that frequency together. Think of a couple in love. There’s more to their bond than reading flowery phrases out of a book of poems together. There is a sameness – an exact frequency humming in both of them.

So how do we get on the same frequency as someone else? You can’t think your way there. That just creates a lot of noise that diverts you from a matching frequency.

One way is to give your critical consciousness a rest and just be with another person without agenda. Let the back and forth conversation in your head subside and watch a bond begin to form. This doesn’t mean that you don’t converse; it means to let your prepared remarks fall by the wayside and let the conversation naturally flow. Note to control freaks: This is like walking the high wire without a net. It’s scary.

It’s also very effective in getting on the same frequency.

When your back and forth with someone is less prepared and more free flowing, the chance for being on the same frequency is more of a possibility.

Not convinced? Practice in low risk situations like interacting with a stranger in the deli line, or with the person on the seat next to you on a bus or plane, or with the UPS guy. What you will find, when you let your preparation die, is the aliveness of the same frequency.

To borrow and bend a famous line: “May the frequency be with you.”

All the best,

John