The Pause
Years ago, my friend Paul and I taught a course in communication. I was responsible for the non-verbal portion of the class and Paul taught the public speaking section.
I remember him teaching the class about the value of a pause. A pause allows time for the message you’ve just delivered to sink in and adds emphasis to it. A well placed pause also sets up the “pay off” idea or, for comedians, the punchline.
The pause even has a greater use when you apply it to your own life.
Pausing before you speak or act has been a learning experience for me. It’s an ongoing lesson but each time I remember to apply it, it pays dividends.
Culturally we are conditioned to have an instant answer. If we don’t, we may be judged as “slow on the uptake.” Men, more than women, have been brought up with the idea that we have to know and we have to know now. That’s why there are more male than female stutterers. “Out with it” is a high volume phrase that has produced more stutterers than you can imagine.
The problem is that the instant answer, too often, doesn’t answer the problem. Take the couple driving around looking for a location. If we have a culturally conditioned “must know” man behind the wheel, he’s likely not going to stop and ask for directions. “Don’t worry, I’ll get us there” is his response to a plea to stop and ask. A half hour later they are still lost.
He didn’t take time to pause.
Not only will pausing keep you from saying or doing something stupid, it has a bigger payoff than that. The pause in a high percentage of situations delivers a much better answer – one that you wouldn’t have received unless you paused.
Recondition yourself to pause more often before jumping into action or giving your instant answer. The pause will open the door to more possibilities and directions, and you won’t have to make as many course corrections.
All the best,
John
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