“If you’re in court, answer the objection; if you’re in your head, don’t.” – So said The Grasshopper the other day.

I wrote it down but I had no clue as to its value. It sat for a couple of days and this is what came to me:

When an objection arises inside of our head, it’s in opposition to another piece of “evidence” that’s been presented in there. In other words, we’re talking to ourselves and going back and forth about an issue that internal debate will never solve.

As long as you’re debating, you’re not acting. And if you’re anything like me, the debates have become marathons, and the only reason they end is not because anyone won; it’s because we got tired of debating.

Anytime there is a “should” and “shouldn’t” going on in your head, you’re in for an all-nighter.

The key to suspending the debate is to observe the debate rather than participate.

That means to sit as an observer of the points and counterpoints and notice how they take on a life of their own. Notice how each point is clamoring for attention and how each successive counterpoint gets greater emphasis. It’s quite the show. It’s absolutely pure entertainment when you sit on the sidelines and watch. It’s your own top-rated sitcom and you’ll be entertained by every episode if you just observe.

The minute you choose to participate, the entertainment value goes away and you return to the tongue lashing treadmill that will tire you out and take you nowhere.

The way to end the debate is to observe it in action. Noticing without participation shortens the internal gas-fest and allows space for an actionable idea to pop in.

The minute you notice yourself objecting to a thought in your head, you have been handed the keys to the kingdom. You can choose to unlock the door by continuing to observe, or you can argue about whose going to unlock the door, which is participating.

Fighting with yourself inside your head is sillier than cheating at Solitaire. Both may make you feel superior for the moment, but you know you really haven’t won anything.

An internal fight cannot continue when the objections cease. The way to object less is to observe more.

All the best,

John

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