Ever get a great idea out of the blue? Did you remember to say, “Thank you”?

I was reminded of this strategy the other day when my grandson asked me to listen to a piece of music he created. He said it just came to him from nowhere.

After listening to his creation, I told him that one of my teachers, Dr. Dave Dobson recommended that when unexpected gifts like that arrived, we were to thank the part of us that sent that gift along. Dave said saying “thank you” was a way of expressing appreciation and also a way of alerting that part of our mind to “keep those cards and letters coming.”

My grandson liked that idea and I thought you would too.

The practice is polite and procreative at the same time.

Does the practice work? I can’t tell you that it’s true; all I can say is this: I don’t always remember to say “thank you” but when I do, more gifts come to me from out of the blue.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

The Grasshopper delivered this about a week ago: “Clues need to be interpreted, facts don’t.”

It seems that facts need to be assembled to get to a workable solution, but clues keep us clueless until they lead us to facts.

The difficulty, as I see it, is that we jump the gun by attempting to solve situations with clues before finding or verifying the facts. It’s called conjecture or, more to the point, hallucinating.

How often do we pretend to know about something without having the facts? Have you ever judged a book by its cover? You have pretended to know all the facts by just glancing at the clues.

If you only read the headlines, you’ll be topical but lack depth.

President Ronald Reagan left us with this memorable quote: “Trust but verify.”

Trust your instincts but validate their veracity before claiming to have the answer.

When you discover a tempting clue, don’t start writing you thesis; start asking questions. Dig deeper before claiming to have depth and breadth.

I love finding clues; they spur me on to solve the puzzle. Where we come up short, is claiming to know how the whole puzzle is put together when we only have a piece of blue sky.

“Get a clue” is a pejorative statement we may make to someone who’s oblivious to something, but we remain in the dark as well if we don’t take the next step and find the facts.

If the only clue you take from this is to find the facts, you been promoted to junior detective and you will solve more puzzles.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

There is no bigger form of fear than feeling helpless. Helplessness neuters options and smothers hope leaving us with just unadulterated fear.

The good news is that helplessness too often has been misidentified.

When we mistakenly adjudge ourselves as being helpless, we give away any personal power we can muster to provide help.

How do we know we have misidentified helplessness? – When we offer a litany of excuses for not acting. Genuine helplessness doesn’t need an excuse.

Another way to know that we have manufactured helplessness is when we are aware that many others, in very similar circumstances, have successfully acted.

“Acting” and “Action” are the operative words.

Acting helpless is what we do when we know something can be done but we claim we can’t do it. Taking action is the cure for manufactured helplessness.

Action settles fear.

It’s only when action is not an option that helplessness is real.

Feeling helpless? Ask yourself this: Have others in the same circumstances successfully acted? If the answer is “yes,” you are acting helpless if you don’t act.

The antidote for the poison of acting helpless is taking action. You don’t have to climb the mountain in a day. You can take steps that take you to the foothills first and then work your way up.

You can certainly choose not to act in actionable circumstances, but you can no longer claim you are helpless.

This is more than semantics. Acting helpless gets the same result as genuine helplessness – Fear. Recognize that you have given undue power to the word “helpless” when you misuse it, and that you needlessly suffer.

Feeling helpless? If there is an action you can begin, begin it.

Again, action is the antidote for acting helpless. It removes manufactured fear and presents options to act on.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

I used to work for a couple of 60s based radio stations. The format, at the time, was referred to as “Oldies” – mostly songs from the 60s with a smattering of late 50s and early 70s songs thrown in for good measure.

The reason people tuned into us was for the music. We had all the other elements that radio had to offer as well – personalities, news, weather, traffic etc., but the main draw was the music.

The success of the Oldies format was that the music instantly transported most of the listeners back to a time in their life that was more carefree. I referred to it as their “dancin’, prancin’ and romancin’ years.”

The music delivered a warm fuzzy to these folks. I believe it also set up a dichotomy in their mind. It not only reminded them of a special time, but it also tacitly reminded them that that time was over. The suggestion was that their dancing, prancing and romancing belonged to another time.

We do ourselves a disservice when we limit our ability to dance, prance and romance to the days of yore. That ability remains with us for a lifetime but we put it in a mental box called “Over” and miss amazing opportunities of expression every day.

The only reason these practices get rusty is because we don’t practice them.

When the last time you danced – not formally, but just let yourself do a little move or two?

Can you remember the last time you “strutted your stuff”?

When’s the last time you dusted off the romancing part of you and brought it out for a spin?

Again, these qualities are not tied to another time; they’re available now and always.

Dancing, prancing and romancing fall into the category of celebration. You don’t have to wait to be invited to celebrate – you can do it every day without having to have a reason.

There are countless ways to express celebration; you only need to bring them out and dust them off.

Any embarrassment you may initially feel is outweighed by the sheer enjoyment celebration brings.

Make it a new habit to do some old things, and by doing so, you may age but you’ll never get old.

Let me leave you with the words of an “Oldie” that never go out of style:

Celebrate, Celebrate, Dance to the Music!

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

The word “Amok” popped into my mind and I looked it up in the dictionary to confirm my suspicions about its definition. It’s loosely defined as “out of control.”

But when it popped in, it was an acronym – A.M.O.K. That got me curious. What did these four letters have to teach me about control?

A: We ALWAYS seek control. It’s the elusive Holy Grail filled with the elixir that will take our fear away. It’s a lifelong pilgrimage fraught with frustration.

M: Control is a MYTH. Control will never be found because it is a concept we made up to deal with fearful sensations. The storyline goes something like this: If we get control, we will be free of our fear. We created something that doesn’t exist to deal with something that does. It’s a fantasy that can go on for a lifetime, if we let it.

O: Control makes us OVERBEARING. If you are bossing people around for no other reason than you can, you have fallen prey to an action that brings out the ugliest side of control. The underlying logic at play is this: If we can control others, we can force ourselves to control our fear.

K: Fear is KINESTHETIC. It’s meant to be felt, not controlled. How often do we deny our fearful sensations instead of feeling them? This practice is control on steroids. Fear is a sensation that’s alerting us to pay attention, not to duck our head in the sand.

We don’t have any control over fear. The best we can do is recognize it and feel it. Once it gets recognition and feeling, fear metabolizes itself into something more useful and less controlling.

There aren’t too many classes out there teaching us to feel our fear, but there are countless classes on control – a myth that never works because it doesn’t exist.

If fear is running amok inside your mind, you’ve bought into the universal myth of control. The way for fear to stop controlling you is to recognize and feel it. Give it a place at the table and feel it out. The more familiar you become with your fear, the less control you’ll seek.

So here’s another definition to consider for A.M.O.K. – A Mind Obscuring Kinesthesia.

You’ll never think your way out of fear; it’s out of your control. But the funny thing is that feeling fear will make the myth of control fade away along with the fear itself.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

I have come to hate the phrase “Hump Day.” I would use a milder word than “hate,” but it wouldn’t come close to how I feel about it.

For those cave dwellers, hump day is Wednesday – the hump in the work week you have to get over so that it’s downhill to the weekend.

There was a time in my life when I lived for weekends and vacations. Let’s do a little math. There are 365 days in the year. There are 52 weekends in a year which contain 104 days. Let’s say that you also get two week’s vacation and 7 holidays. That an additional 17 days off. 104 + 17 = 121 days off.

365 – 121 = 244. That means there are 244 days of waiting for the weekend. It’s an awful way to live.

Living for the weekend postpones any joy you can experience in the day or, more specifically, the moment you are in.

This isn’t a “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” rant; it’s more of a mental mirror to check out your postponement of life.

A successful life is made up of successful moments. It’s that simple. If you are in suspended animation for 244 days a year, that’s two thirds of your life that’s on hold.

Look at the happiest people you know. They aren’t living for the weekend. That doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy or look forward to free time; it just means they are free of the practice of postponing life. They find something in each day that keeps them delightfully immersed in living.

I don’t have a step-by-step plan for you to get out from under a situation you are currently in that’s causing you pain – relationship, job, etc., but I do know the first step.

Your first step is to participate in every day you are part of. If you deny a moment’s existence, it will inflict more pain upon you for not paying attention. The pain of inattention is far more severe than the pain of your situation. It draws out your pain and makes it last much longer than need be.

Here’s a piece of input that most people do not want to hear: If you are in a situation that’s painful, it’s your job to get yourself out. Stop looking for a lifeline from someone else. Only you can make it happen. The rub is that you’ll find it harder to extricate yourself when you’re engaged in the practice called “Waiting for the weekend.”

We make our own misery when we wait for the weekend.

A useful practice to develop is to find something in each day to celebrate. It begins to focus you on life rather than the slow death your current strategy is inflicting. Celebrate something each day. When you get comfortable with that practice, add some more things to celebrate.

Celebrating is gratitude in another suit of clothes. The more you are grateful for, the happier you become. The best news is: You don’t have to wait for the weekend to celebrate.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

Many businesses benefit from having a silent partner – someone who doesn’t seek the spotlight but who makes the light possible.

We all have a silent partner whether we’re in business or not. It’s the part of us that silently works in the background to unleash our creativity.

This lifelong partner only requires one working condition – Quiet.

We all have stories to tell about the time something worthwhile came to us from out of the blue, something we didn’t think ourselves to.

That’s the work of the silent partner. The reason we don’t get more revelations from our silent partner is because we are too busy ignoring their needs – A quiet workplace.

Our mind is crammed with noisy thoughts that make peace of mind have to wait for its “once in a blue moon” chance to offer us revelation, inspiration and the ability to experience creation.

The key to making those visits happen more often is finding your silent partner.

Finding a silent partner requires some instruction on how to create the quiet that’s a necessary condition for them to work.

HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: I have found that instruction manual, and the best news is that it’s FREE!

It’s called the MIND RELIEF MANUSCRIPT and it was created by my friend, Jerry Stocking who is one of the greatest living teachers on earth.

You can download the MIND RELIEF MANUSCRIPT by clicking on this link:

http://www.selfexploratorytools.com/MRM.pdf

Answering this simple, blunt question will predict your future with laser like accuracy: HAS THE WAY YOU’VE BEEN USING YOUR MIND HELPED YOU OR HURT YOU?

Only you know how you are currently using your mind; the only question now is: Would you like to use it to your best advantage?

You can start doing that right now by downloading Jerry Stocking’s MIND RELIEF MANUSCRIPT
absolutely free at

http://www.selfexploratorytools.com/MRM.pdf

I rarely recommend third party materials to you and this is one of those times. The MIND RELIEF MANUSCRIPT is worth your time and I request that you download it for FREE right now at

http://www.selfexploratorytools.com/MRM.pdf

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

I have a confession to make. I hate hinting.

People who make me guess make me crazy.

Hinting is such a time waster, and for some people it’s a lifestyle.

I will admit that there is some allure to hinting. It’s a way of pleasantly teasing you towards something worthwhile. But when it’s used as a dodge against digging in, it digs a hole rather than moving us forward.

Reminds me of a story . . . I was 6 years old and remember the pain of hinting. It was my first experience with it and I was the perpetrator. My friend had gotten a 3 speed bike (state of the art at the time) for his birthday and we were down at the schoolyard where he was riding it around. I really wanted to take it for a spin but never asked; I hinted. Perhaps I was acting on my politeness conditioning or being challenged by my fear of hearing “no.” Either way, I didn’t get what I wanted.

“That sure is a cool bike,” “It must feel really neat to be riding a 3 speed” and “My parents will never buy me one of those” were some of the hints I threw out. They never got their intended result. The good news is I finally got a 3 speed a couple of years later, but didn’t get to take a ride that day.

Had I not hinted, the answer still could have been “No,” but the rub was I never knew for sure.

There is a surety about asking and instability about hinting. It takes reconditioning to outgrow hinting.

The field of sales is filled with hinting and it keeps many sales from being made. My old friend, Terry Butler, a sales trainer had a wonderful hint busting question: “What’s your real question?”

“What’s your real question?” stops hinting in its tracks and solicits actionable information from a hinter. It moves the process of transaction from hinting to what’s really being requested.

My friend, Jerry Stocking requests that you make requests of everybody. He says that requests will instantly show you your relationship with the persons you are making requests of. Requesting is really relationship building.

Many people don’t ask because they are afraid of finding out what their relationship is with another. They would rather pretend than ask. They remain on the periphery of relating to another by their practice of hinting.

Again, it takes some practice to outgrow hinting. The results are more honest and open relationships with the side benefit of getting what you want more often than if you hint.

Start small and work your way up. For starters, you could request more ketchup packets at McDonalds even though you don’t want them. For extra credit, drive up to the takeout window, without making an order, and make the same request. See what happens when you start making requests. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by your new sales figures. But more importantly, you will strengthen your ability to relate to others.

Hinting has its place but not at the adult table. I request that you stop hinting and start building relationships. Who knows, you may be able to take something new out for a spin.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

The Grasshopper had on his clever hat this morning when he delivered this: “Consuming quiet is food for less thought.”

It reminded me of an old joke about a cheerleading squad made up exclusively of librarians. They only had one cheer – Shhh!

Our mind needs a librarian.

How often have you said, “I want to think it over”? That is the worst possible strategy for getting to a solution. Thinking has you think the same thoughts over and over again and they take you to the same dead ends.

A better response and a better strategy would be, “I want to quiet it over.”

Reflection and thinking are two different processes. Reflection is quiet and thinking is noisy.

Reflection is a method for taking your problem situation into a place where there are no problems – the realm of quiet. Thinking is like taking your problem to the factory that employs around-the-clock shifts. Result: Noise 24/7.

The magic of solution is that it comes from a place where there is no thinking done about it. All learning or discovery comes from the space between our thoughts. That space is quiet.

Want more solutions? Then it’s time to become a consumer of quiet. Buy as much as you can afford and you’ll come up with solutions that will allow you to afford more.

I’ve mentioned it before and it bears repeating: Getting in touch with your body will quiet your mind. Just doing an inventory of your body parts and noticing how they feel will quiet your mind. Just take a few moments, close your eyes and notice what’s going on in a certain body part – your hands, you feet, your toes, etc. Just this simple exercise will shush your mind. Go from head to toe or toe to head and notice that less is being said.

There are more formal ways of mind quieting and they are all valuable. Doing an inventory of your body doesn’t require purchasing a Yoga mat or a visit to India. It can be done anytime, anywhere and it’s always effective.

Consume some more quiet and you’ll find solutions that have been buried in the noise.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE

I was watching the final round of the British Open (The Open Championship) Golf Tournament on Sunday. The unexpected winner was Darren Clarke of Northern Ireland.

He was one of the older players in the field and was no one’s pick at the beginning of the tournament to win. But he won.

One of the announcers told the story of a close friend of Darren’s who gave him this piece of advice: “Don’t let your golf determine your attitude; let your attitude determine your golf.”

What an incredible piece of wisdom that is. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes written in the late 1800s by philosopher, James Allen:
“Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him.”

How easy it is to allow circumstances to dictate how we approach life. Many years ago I was interviewing Tony Robbins on my radio show and he said this: “What would you try if you knew you couldn’t fail?” That one little piece of wisdom got me to try many things I may have never attempted due to my previous attitude.

I’ve mentioned it before that “attitude” is an aeronautical term which literally means “angle of approach.”

What angle are you approaching life from? Is it from the circumstance angle or the possibility angle, or somewhere in between? It would be valuable to find out.

Once you become aware of your angle of approach, you have the ability to adjust it and set the stage for smoother landings.

One little shift in thinking can make a BIG difference. Allowing your circumstances to determine your life will get you more of what you already have. If you want to shift that around, shift your mental angle of approach to this: “I will allow my attitude to shape my circumstances.”

Happy landings!

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE