The word “Amok” popped into my mind and I looked it up in the dictionary to confirm my suspicions about its definition. It’s loosely defined as “out of control.”

But when it popped in, it was an acronym – A.M.O.K. That got me curious. What did these four letters have to teach me about control?

A: We ALWAYS seek control. It’s the elusive Holy Grail filled with the elixir that will take our fear away. It’s a lifelong pilgrimage fraught with frustration.

M: Control is a MYTH. Control will never be found because it is a concept we made up to deal with fearful sensations. The storyline goes something like this: If we get control, we will be free of our fear. We created something that doesn’t exist to deal with something that does. It’s a fantasy that can go on for a lifetime, if we let it.

O: Control makes us OVERBEARING. If you are bossing people around for no other reason than you can, you have fallen prey to an action that brings out the ugliest side of control. The underlying logic at play is this: If we can control others, we can force ourselves to control our fear.

K: Fear is KINESTHETIC. It’s meant to be felt, not controlled. How often do we deny our fearful sensations instead of feeling them? This practice is control on steroids. Fear is a sensation that’s alerting us to pay attention, not to duck our head in the sand.

We don’t have any control over fear. The best we can do is recognize it and feel it. Once it gets recognition and feeling, fear metabolizes itself into something more useful and less controlling.

There aren’t too many classes out there teaching us to feel our fear, but there are countless classes on control – a myth that never works because it doesn’t exist.

If fear is running amok inside your mind, you’ve bought into the universal myth of control. The way for fear to stop controlling you is to recognize and feel it. Give it a place at the table and feel it out. The more familiar you become with your fear, the less control you’ll seek.

So here’s another definition to consider for A.M.O.K. – A Mind Obscuring Kinesthesia.

You’ll never think your way out of fear; it’s out of your control. But the funny thing is that feeling fear will make the myth of control fade away along with the fear itself.

All the best,

John

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