It may sound odd to you, but the opposite of losing for me is not winning.

It used to be until I examined it more closely.

Winning and losing are culturally joined at the hip, which means they seem as though are the only two options on the continuum. They’re not.

In the past, winning for me was about being right, and as The Grasshopper reminded us many moons ago, continually staking your claim to being right leaves you left out.

The opposite of losing for me is getting through. That’s my win.

Getting through is not getting people to see it my way. That would be too much like being right.

Getting through is getting them to see that their way isn’t working. Getting through to yourself also follows the same guideline.

It’s amazing to me the number of times we retreat back to a position that doesn’t work. We have a history of our way not working, yet we cling to that rock as though it’s a life preserver.

There is something eerily comfortable about that which doesn’t work. That’s why getting through is so hard.

My livelihood depends on me being able to get through. It’s what I make an effort to do. I attempt to lead people to paths away from their grooved path, often called a rut. I don’t offer step-by-step instructions because that suggests there is a right direction to go. What I find is this: Once people finally discover their ingrained ways won’t work, they find their own path.

There are some people you and I will never get through to. Again, it’s not selling them on our position, but rather having them notice that their position is on shaky ground.

That ground shake makes them feel alive. It’s why they are unsettled. It’s as though they have to stick themselves with pins to prove they exist. Their main problem is that the pain has become all too familiar, so getting through it is highly unlikely.

They cannot shed being right, even though right feels so wrong. Their win is a loss.

If winning is the only goal, losing will be your destiny.

One thing I know to be true, we all lose when we can’t get through.

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE