GrasshopperNotes.com - Thoughts for inspired living


Some people would rather be right than happy. And preferring to be right, they are left out - Grasshopper

Many states in the USA have traffic circles. I've driven around most of them. By law, the driver whose car is in the circle has the right of way. If there is a huge truck approaching the circle on one of the feeder roads, the driver in the circle still has the right of way. The oncoming truck is required to yield to the car in the circle. 

What if the driver in the circle notices the truck is not slowing down, does some quick calculations and concludes that if he continues at his current speed, the truck will crush him like a bug? Prudency would dictate that he yield to the truck even though he has the right of way. If he chooses to tell himself that he has the right of way and continues at the same speed, he will resemble a pancake. Most folks would consider this choice as lunacy, yet that is what people do when they declare they are right.

Being right is a disease more widespread than the Black Plague of the Middle Ages. Having to be right is a declaration of war. It is a repellent to others. Think of someone you know who needs to be right more often than not, and you will find a person devoid of deep relationships with other humans.  They remain on the outside looking in and cannot figure out why.

How can being right be so wrong? When you demonstrate that you are right whether in word or deed, you immediately make the other person wrong. Think of the last time a person made you wrong and notice the feeling you get. Also notice that you don't want to get closer to that person.

People with more rules than the average bear advertise they are right without having to say a word. Anyone in their company knows instinctively that this person has a lot of rules. And if you have a rule about something, notice that you have the "right" position - the right way to bring up children, the right way to have sex, the right way to vote, etc. Anyone with another position on that topic is wrong.

Aristotle determined that perception is 100% and some ancient Babylonian determined that there are 360 degrees in a circle. If you shifted yourself just a few degrees in either direction, you would have a different angle of view and you may come to a different conclusion.

Not many people adopt another's point on the circle and look at something through their eyes. If you do this before you become steadfast in your position, you will discover there are different degrees of right. The immediate result of this practice is twofold:

1.You become more approachable.
2.Some of your sillier rules begin to crumble and fall apart.



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