I may have written this before but I find the hardest people to help are those who don’t think they need any.

There’s no one I know who doesn’t need help with something. We all do.

Some are just too proud to ask for it. These are not the folks I’m referencing here.

Here’s what I find: The people who need the most help are the ones who refuse taking responsibility for their actions, never apologize for anything, have a giant polarity response (meaning: if you say, “up” they say, “down”), they are upset with everyone, and can’t be depended on. In short, they are perpetually immature.

Most of us outgrow most of our immaturity. The ones who don’t cause us the most problems and are nearly impossible to help.

These folks, in order to change, need a dark night of the soul to have a prayer of that happening.

Reality has to be their teacher; you or I don’t have the skills to help them.

You may be an extraordinary people helper but you are helpless when it comes to someone who doesn’t think they need help.

Over the years, I have met many gifted, alcohol abuse counselors. The thread that runs through their stories is that their “helpless” clients, who did managed to turn their lives around, had to get to such a dark place on their own before they could see any glimmer of light.

But this post is for you, not for them. They won’t listen. The only thing you can provide them with is love, most times, tough love.

The message for you is this: You are not a savior. Once you own that realization, you’ll be ready for this message from motivational speaker Tony Gaskins: “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

All the best,

John

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