Look what I found on “Too Lazy to Write Something New Tuesday.” This is from a decade ago.

When we assess something, we evaluate its worth. It could be an item on eBay, what a political candidate has to say, a business venture, or a potential dancing partner.

We make assessments every day of our life. It’s part of the human software package.

Assessments are interpretations of reality. Sometimes we do a terrific job and oftentimes we don’t.

The real difficulty begins when we label our assessments as the truth. It may true for us but it may not pass the sniff test of truth for others. That’s when the wicket becomes like a cinnamon bun. Life gums up and we begin debating the truth.

The only real truth is reality. It’s true every time. Reality doesn’t debate and it never gets stuck. Reality is life. Look out your window. What do you see? Reality! Look at your financial situation. What do you see? Reality! Look at your personal relationships. Reality! Reality is like dog poop – it’s everywhere and everyone eventually steps in it.

When you watch a court room drama on TV or in the movies, typically you will see a set of facts laid out by the prosecution and then the defense will refute, ignore or complicate those facts. There is an old lawyer axiom with a new twist that comes from former Vice-President, Al Gore:

“When you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have the law on your side, argue the law. When you have neither, holler.”

There is a lot of unnecessary hollering going on. The loud noises come from those resisting reality.

The Grasshopper had this to say about assessments:

“Life flows when reality and your assessment of reality are the same.”

Byron Katie gives us an amazing appreciation for reality in her book, “Loving What Is.” I recommend it to anyone who is raging against reality. Reminds me of a story . . .

When my boys were younger and living at home, we would rent a cottage at the Jersey shore for a couple of weeks each summer. We went to the beach everyday and a good portion of that time was spent in the water riding the surf. I remember starting a ritual with them that we did at least once a vacation. We would stand almost waist deep in the water facing the oncoming waves. We formed a human chain by holding hands and puffed up our chests and resisted the approaching wave. We all got knocked back or under by the sheer force of the ocean and when we collected ourselves we said the following in unison:

“Man versus ocean; ocean wins again.”

Then we would all laugh. When you oppose the flow of reality, you get knocked on your tushie every time.

There is reality and an assessment of reality. When there is a disconnect between the two, we suffer.

Here’s my assessment: You can shorten the hold that suffering has on you when you get in the practice of accepting reality.

All the best,

John