Underside of a Japanese Maple Leaf

I got this piece of advice from a photographer: When you are scoping out a scene and it’s just not looking good enough to photograph, turn around and look the other way and chances are you’ll discover something quite worthwhile.

Seems this piece of input goes well past photography. How often do we mistakenly judge a book by its cover?

That’s the time to take a breath, exhale slowly and look in another direction. My experience is you will find something there that dismissal will never discover.

There is more to others than your judgements about them.

I find that I use judgements as a protection mechanism. If I’ve had a lousy experience with someone and come in contact with another who seems to have the same qualities as that person, I look past them. I miss a lot by doing that.

When I explore people past my prejudice, I often find that there is a lot more there. Connections are made when we push past our judgements.
Reminds me of a story I’ve told before . . .

I used to go to this dry cleaner because they did a wonderful job of pressing shirts – the best I had ever experienced. But my experience there was not pleasant. There was this irascible woman behind the counter who could turn “up” into “down” in an eye blink. I always left with well pressed shirts but with wrinkly feelings.

Then one day I had it with her snarly attitude and was about to give it to her with both barrels. Just as I was about to explode, this question came out instead: “You seem to be so unhappy.” That’s all it took. This woman burst into tears and told me the story of her and her brother. They were put in separate orphanages as children. They found each other years later and developed an extremely close bond. He was now dying of cancer and that inseparable bond was about to be broken. This hardened woman softened before my eyes and I got a hug along with my shirts that day. Every visit thereafter was with the person I took another look at.

When you feel an instant judgement come up, “look around.” You will make connections that heretofore went straight to the “Lost and Found.”

All the best,

John